Please note: My english isn't that good. But I still hope you like my story...
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„Could you please read Katie a good night story today?"
Erin kissed Jay good bye, before she walked to the door.
„It's gonna be late. I probably have to stay overtime at the office."
Halstead nodded in understandment.
„No problem."
„And Jay?"
Erin stopped, coming right back, even if she already passed the door.
„Yeah?"
„I know it's a rough week and the ongoing case probably reminds you, on what happened during your own childhood. But don't take the anger out on anyone of us. Katie is really scared, every time you start yelling in front of her."
Jay was ashamed of looking Erin in the eyes. He felt like being naked in front of strangers after her words, because she knew everything about the abuse by his foster parents.
„See, Erin. You might be right. My reaction was excessive. But that doesn't change anything on her behaviour. The couch isn't some kind of a trampoline. She has to learn that."
„Defnietly, but you could tell her in a different way. Shouting isn't always the answer."
She glanced at him, a w eak smile on her face.
„I've got to go. See you guys tomorrow."
„Take care of yourself", he reminded her, before she waved good bye.
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The evening came faster than expected.
He took a book from the shelf as promised, directly entering the children's room, where his daughter who already laid in bed looked at him with big eyes.
It didn't need parenthood to recognize, that she was scared.
Jay smiled at her in encouragement, gently taking place on the edge of her bed.
„I'm sorry, Daddy. I shouldn't have jumped at the living room", she whispered with a guilty look on her face, while Jay placed the book on her nightstand.
„I'm the one who is sorry for yelling at you. Indeed, it wasn't okay but I should have told you in a quietly volume."
„So everything is okay?"
„Sure sweetie", he glanced at her sadly and already wanted to grab Alice in Wonderland when she continued speaking.
„Daddy?"
„Yeah?"
„Jason in my class told us that you and mummys job could be very dangerous. His dad was a police officer too and he died when Jason was 5."
Jays face changed into a concerned look.
Uncertain how he could explain it to his daughter, he gently took her hand, keeping eyes contact with her.
„Look, Katie. I'm gonna tell you something. Your classmate might be right. There is always a risk. But next time you say to him what I will explain to you now. Before someone becomes a cop, he has to take tests at the academy. Mummy and I learned to stay safe a very long time ago, before you were born. We're doing this job for at least 15 years and we're always looking out for each other. Living always has a risk of getting hurt. But it's the same probability as someone could be overrun by a car or be hitting by a brick from a wall. And even if something like that happens, there is always someone who's watching out for you. Okay, sweetie?"
She nodded, still tears in her eyes. A fact that forced Jay to stroke her cheek.
„But I don't want to lose Mummy or you."
Jay sighed in frustration, before he thought about the right words. Her feat was real. But he didn't want to worry her.
„Since I can't take a look on the future I won't promise you anything. But I guarantee, that I will always look after Mummy and me. Because I love you guys, more than anything else in the world. And I don't want you to grow up like me. Without parents."
Katie agreed with a head movement.
„Was it really bad?"
Jay couldn't answer, just nodding his head.
„Yeah, but it wasn't the fact of growing up without a mum or a dad. It was more because my new foster parents weren't nice to me. They treated me like a kid should never be educated by somebody, because hitting doesn't solve any problems. And that's eventually why I'm getting really loud really fast sometimes. I barely learned to deal with my emotions and that even appears since I'm a big men."
Katie shook her shoulders.
„I still love you, anyway. Even if you're yelling at me."
Jay felt a lump coming up his throat.
He felt the emotions kicking in, hardly dealing with the words of a seven year old.
„I love you too, sweetie. Always, even if we fight, okay?"
She smiled at him.
„Come here", he spred out his hands to pull her in a hug, kissing her forehead. Her hair covered his tears, which he secretly whipped away, before she moved to her old place.
„Can we continue our book now?"
„Of couse we can", he forced himself to smile, despite his red eyes, looking for the first page of the new chapter.
„There we go", he started to read the first line, while she was laying in his arm, excited how everything would change…