I'm baaaack, my dear readers. I know it has been an unbearably long time, but with all the stupid computer problems I've had, I'm surprised I'm back at all -sigh-. Anyway I have a lovely comeback piece for you all :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing, the characters belong to the wonderful J.K. Rowling, and the song belongs to Skillet.
Now on with it!
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The Last Night
I had suspected for quite some time that something was wrong with Granger, no, Hermione, yeah; but I never realized how bad it actually was. I found out just how bad it was after the Christmas ball. McGonagall was the new headmistress, and she decided that it would be "lovely" to throw a ball on Christmas Eve in celebration of the returning seventh years who had missed last year due to the war.
The war. It was finally over. The Final Battle was months ago, with the Light coming out on top. Many of us had suffered losses during the war, but some suffered more than others. Hermione's parents were murdered by Death Eaters in a last ditch attempt to get at Potter through her. Neither Potter not the Weasel had died in the Final Battle, but they treated Hermione as though she had. All because she couldn't kill me. After Potter had defeated the Dark Lord, all his followers were rounded up and killed. No mercy was shown; ironic for the side of the "Light." Hermione had found me first and I honestly thought that I was as good as dead, but she let me go long enough to get out that I was working with my godfather, Severus Snape, as a spy for the Order. Once Potter and the Weasel found out they branded her as a traitor and ostracized her.
She was completely alone now and it was killing her.
You come to me with scars on your wrists
You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this
This year we were selected as Head Boy and Girl, so we were sharing a dorm. I had no idea how I ended up picked as Head Boy, but I wasn't going to the one to tell McGonagall that she was off her rocker. It was probably so that none of the Slytherins that were loyal to the Dark Lord would murder me in my sleep.
Being in such close quarters with Hermione, I figured out a few months into the term that she was cutting herself. It wasn't that hard to figure out actually. She was wearing long sleeve shirts, even when the temperatures soared to unbearable heights. Once, she slipped going up the stairs to her bedroom, and, out of reflex, I grabbed her wrist to stop her from falling, but she cried out in pain as thought she had actually hit the floor. I couldn't really blame her. She was lonely and depressed and it was how she coped. I was self-destructive like that for a while. In one of my attempts to get back at my father I would slice up my arm and bleed out his precious pureblood that was so bloody important.
At the Christmas ball, I was watching Hermione finish up rounds from a corner in the back. Every so often one of us was to check to make sure the punch wasn't spiked, and that no one was getting randy in the dark corners; it was her final turn. She had been acting strange all day, I was curious as to why. When she finished checking the punch, she straightened up and looked around. Her eyes landed on me and she walked over.
I just came to say goodbye
I didn't want you to see me cry
I'm fine...
She stood there, just looking at me for a few moments.
"Are you alright, Granger?" I asked, double meaning evident in my words.
She winced slightly at my use of her surname and I immediately regretted it. I didn't want to cause her any more pain.
"I'm fine," she replied without looking at me.
She took a final step towards me, closing the distance between us. Before I realized what she was going to do, she hugged me.
"Goodbye Draco," she whispered softly.
I was a little shocked. She had never used my given name before, but I loved the way it sounded coming from her lips. I returned her hug, and marveled at how right she felt in my arms. She fit against me, as though we were two puzzle pieces. As much as I don't want to admit it, Hermione had grown on me, a lot. I had fancied her before, but I thought that it was just mild admiration paired with wanting what you can't have. After she spared me, and while we lived together, it grew to new levels. I guess I had grown on her as well. When she pulled away, she had a single tear running down her cheek. She turned quickly and left the Great Hall before I could do or say anything.
But I know it's a lie...
I'm not sure who she was trying to fool , but she was definitely not fine. I decided to follow her. I wanted to let her know about my growing feelings towards her. I wanted her to be mine. I was also making sure she didn't do anything rash. That goodbye seemed awfully final.
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
I wanted her to know that I would be there for her while Potter and the Weasel failed as the friends they should be. Especially Potter, she lost so much just because she was his friend, and now he wouldn't even look twice at her. All the times she saved his skin, hell, he should be kissing the ground she walked on.
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be
But mostly, I didn't want her to feel alone anymore. It was just causing her unnecessary pain. She wasn't alone; I was right here.
Your friends say everything is your fault
But they don't know you like I know you; they don't at all
Potter and the Weasel had abandoned her after the war. They had only used her for her intelligence in the first place. It was a shame that I was the only one who saw that for what it was. Their excuse for snubbing her was that she was the reason there was still evil in the world. All because of one Death Eater. I don't know why she spared me that day; she had every reason in the world not to. It wasn't as though I was ever nice to her before, but I vowed to myself that I would make up for all of my wrongs against her, and hopefully more.
I'm so sick of when they say
It's just a phase; you'll be okay
You're fine...
I heard her crying in her room some nights. Talking to herself between sobs, I heard all of her anguish.
"So what if I let him go? That's no reason to pretend I don't exist; and after all that we've been through together..."
"He was innocent! A spy for our side! It doesn't matter how much you hated him, he didn't deserve to die..."
"He's not that bad of a guy; treats me better than they do anyway. How could you abandon me like this?"
But I know it's a lie...
She knew as well as I did that she needed help, but her pride was in her way. She didn't want anyone to think her weak, especially not the two that were the cause of all this. She didn't know that I knew as much as I did, though. I didn't know what I was supposed to do to help.
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
I followed her up the stairs. I thought maybe she was just going back to our dorms, but then she went in the opposite direction. The stairs she turned to led up to the AstronomyTower. Something was definitely wrong.
This is the last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be
When I reached the top of the tower she was standing near the ledge used for telescopes during class. She just stood there, staring over the edge, shaking. I knew that she was crying before I heard her. Then it hit me, what she was planning to do.
The last night away from me
As I watched, she climbed on to the waist-high ledge and took a small step towardthe edge, and her oblivion. I quickly crossed the room so that I was standing right behind her. She didn't notice me, she only sighed and continued staring at the ground far beneath us, intent on focusing on her task.
The night is so long when everything's wrong
If you give me your hand I will help you hold on
Tonight, tonight
Just as she moved to step off the ledge, I grabbed her hand. Startled, she lost her balance and tipped forward towards the empty sky. I reached out with my freed hand to grab a hold of her robes, anchoring her to solid ground. She turned and her eyes widened slightly as she took in who it was that had spoiled her attempt at taking her life. I can only imagine the look of horror on my face, but I was shaking my head and mouthing Don't, because I didn't trust myself to speak.
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
Before she could protest, I pulled her down from the wall and into my arms. She had started to cry quietly, and I just held her as I had wanted to all the times I had heard her cry.
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be
"Shh, it's okay, Hermione. I'm her for you. I'm always here for you, and I always will be," I comforted.
I won't let you say goodbye
"Why did you stop me?" she asked without looking up from my chest.
"Because I know someone who wouldn't be able to live if you had succeeded," I said quietly, and, to my shock, I was speaking truthfully.
"Really?" she replied in obvious disbelief.
"Really."
"I looked down at her tear-streaked face and wiped away any last tears.
And I'll be your reason why
I held her face in my hands and looked at her. I could feel her face heating up and I saw a blush creeping across her cheeks. She tried to turn her head, but I wouldn't let her break my gaze. I wanted her to look at me; to see the truth in my words.
"I'll give you a reason no to throw yourself off this tower," I continued, "I can give you a reason to live," I said slowly, watching her face for her reaction.
She thought for a second, and I saw a glimpse of what I thought was hope in her eyes before she asked warily, "Alright, what?"
"There is someone who could love, if they were given the chance, even though everyone else had abandoned you," I answered.
"Who?" she pressed.
I pulled her closer to me so that I could lean down and whisper in her ear.
The last night away from me
"Me."
Away from me...
Fin