DISCLAIMER: I never own Hetalia or any of its character. Himaruya-sensei does.
A/N:
My first Prussia fic! Well, I can't possibly write all about Iggy and Alfred without writing something about the awesome one. *shot*
Anyway, I used too much "fuck", "fuck yeah", "unawesome", "awesome" and "Fritz" for this fic, therefore the rating T. :3
Contains traces of PrusAus, PrusRus and PrusUK, but it's not that clear because this fic really concentrates on Prussia's birthday. Oh, and I'm sorry for being late for his birthday, and it's because I just got inspired (and also just knew) his birthday a few days ago, like, January 20th? D: But anyway, I have a good reason why his birthday celebration is late in the fic, so read till the end. TILL. THE. END. *shot again*
My apologies for bad grammar, I'm really writing all this based on my instincts, so I don't know if it's correct. o_o
Besides, I'm not sure on which tense to use. D:
I've been talking to much right now. So, without any further blabbering from me, enjoy the fic!
P.S.: I use certain German terms in the fic, so please check the end of the story for the explanation to the terms.
P.P.S: I'm not a German. I used google.
P.P.P.S: Reviews are much loved, people! :D
P.P.P.P.S: Happy Chinese New Year to anyone celebrating it!
As I woke up, I immediately knew it was another boring day at that priss' house. Yeah, his house is full of unawesome stuffs. Tch. Him and his little pesky piano. I wouldn't say that I hate it, hell no, it calmed me when he played those sonata pieces and concerto I have never heard of. That specs seriously has the thing when it comes to piano. But knowing someone unawesome with stupidly high Austrian pride, someone like him, is just a hell waste of time. Fuck, he wouldn't even answer me, the awesome one, when he was playing that something-something sonata thingy! Who the hell does he think he is?
That stupid prissy problem aside, I felt that… fuck, I don't know, everybody is ignoring me, the one and only awesome guy in the house?
This bullshit started early in the morning when I just woke up. Elizaveta came to pick up my laundry (fuck yeah, people do stuff for the awesome me), but she passed by me without even saying a simple "gute morgen*" or "hello". What. The. Fuck. She was always greeting me warmly every single morning, but not today. Did I do something wrong the other night? I started searching through my awesome memories… But then I stopped halfway. What's the point? Awesome people like me wouldn't do unawesome stuffs, even if I was drunk.
Speaking of being drunk, I would love to grab some early morning beer with Lutz. Hell yeah. There's no way someone awesome like him would ignore this fantastic offer. Not that I'm saying he's more awesome than me, because it is completely untrue, but he's the only guy who would sit with me in a bar for hours, just enjoying some Pilsner* or Kölsch*, and forgetting all those shits throughout the day. Yeah, bruder will surely come with me.
"No." Lutz replied, almost in a neutral tone, while continuing with his lame paperwork. He wouldn't even turn to look at me! Fuck, the awesome one was ignored.
"But why? You never refused on any beer before! Is it because of that crappy paperwork? You don't need to do it by today, you—"
"Shut up and go away, Gilbert. I'm not in the mood for beer." Lutz finally tilted his head up and looked at me. He didn't seem pleased, but whatever.
"C'mon West! You know you can't resist beer! I know this new place where—"
"GO AWAY." He raised his voice, and never, I repeat, never had he done this kind of shit before. So fucking unawesome of him. Just don't change your mind after I leave you, cause you refused yourself, West. And I'm not a big fan of this 'changing of mind' shit.
If only I was not so unawesomely ticked off, I wouldn't have entered specs' so-called 'private space'. It was his rule that nobody should enter this part of the house without his permission; fuck, living under someone else's roof with an unawesome guy like him sucks big time. But what else can I do, I was reduced into an ex-nation and was forced to move to West's place, with HIM, of all people. I could not fucking understand what was wrong with him that he decided to bring that priss along. Maybe it was his fucking boss. That, or he actually fell for Roddy's unawesome Austrian pride. Dammit, Lutz.
I knocked on the door, hoping that he would be inside and willing to play me some of that… what was that piece he played earlier again? Concerto no. 21? Ah, whatever it is. But there was no reply. No single fucking reply from the priss. Oh Fritz, where have you brought yourself into? Or are you just avoiding me, just like those unawesome people did?
Where the hell is he when I need a little calming melody? I just wanna fucking listen to it. I want his piano. I want him sitting before it. I want him pressing those white and black keys so awesomely that they form that awesome concerto you played to me before. Fuck, just answer the knock on your door! Open your fucking door and let me in! Just for this one time, only for this one time, the awesome one won't interrupt with your awesome masterpiece, I won't, I fucking won't! Dammit, specs, I can feel water piling up in the corner of my awesome crimson-coloured eye, and it's all because of you!
I realized that I'm just wasting my awesome time knocking on his door, and that it was so unawesome for people to see me breaking down like this, so I clear my eyes from any trace of tears and turned around, as if nothing had happened. Kesesese, this shit is my specialty.
There was nothing much to do in the house since most of those bitches were ignoring me in such an unawesome way, and there was nobody I could talk to so awesomely, not even that little childish Italian brat; he's probably in his brother's house or in the market or something, whatever, I don't give a damn. That bar a few minutes' walk away would usually be my awesome escape route when specs wouldn't play something awesome on his piano or when he's not at home, but I ditched it today. No, I'm fucking not in the mood for beer or bars or stuffs like that. Not after Lutz directly refused my beer invitation. No, no fucking way I'm going to those bars.
I grabbed my phone, searched for Francis's name and pressed 'call', so awesomely hoping to have some time to hang out with him. But all I heard from the other end was just the female operator unawesomely repeating "Ihere gewünschte ansprech Partner antwortet nicht, bitte rufen Sie später noch einmal.*" Fuck. He is probably hitting on a random girl he met on his way home. Or guy. Pfft, so unawesome of Francis. I tried for Antonio too, but dammit, the exact same unawesome thing happens. Oh, hell Fritz, where are those two when I am in desperate need of awesome companions? Fuck. Fuck it all.
I kept on searching through those names. Alfred? No fucking way, he's a badass jerk. Yao? I hate his unawesome use of '-aru', so no. Natalia? Fuck, I'd rather die than hanging out with her. Ivan? I'd rather be with Natalia on this one.
Dammit, are my phone contacts always this fucking lame?
Eventually I reached a name that I thought was quite awesome, but not as awesome as I expected. Arthur Kirkland. The British. He's not exactly that kind of guy I would hang out with, but I couldn't find someone more awesome than he is. Not unless I want to hang out with Ivan, but I'll save that unawesome choice for the time I'd like to commit an unawesome suicide.
I hesitated before calling that not-so-awesome-eyebrows' number. Dammit, eyebrows, answer the fucking call and tell me that you're free, or I'll have to hang out with Ivan. Or Natalia. Or those unawesome guys like Alfred. Shit, what choice did the awesome one have in this unawesome situation?
And do you know what was the result?
No. Fucking. Answer.
I tried again and again but there was no response from that unawesome Brit. Fuck you, eyebrows, I'll never give you another fucking call.
Fuck! Fuck it all! What grudge did ol' Fritz have on the awesome me? Why should I be the most unawesome guy in the whole world for at least this one day?
… Wait, did I just say that I was unawesome? Shit, take that word back. I am always awesome, no matter what bullshits fall upon me. Fuck yeah.
Note to awesome people out there (but still, not as awesome as I am): taking a walk around the city when you feel fucked off is not the most awesome option.
Take a look at the awesome me, for example. I started the walk around noon, right after I realized that hanging out with someone that day would be fucking unawesome. Ol' Fritz, they wouldn't even grab their fucking phone and answer me! What, they think they're more awesome than me, the awesome Prussia? Go to hell, that shit would never happen.
Fuck, I'm getting out of topic again.
Anyway, I was turning to an alley full of bars and cafes, just wanting to calm my unawesome mood with some awesome beer. Forget what I said about West and not wanting to get any beer. It's fucking unawesome and untrue. I need some shots of Hefe Weizen*. Or Pilsner*. Or both. Whatever. I just need some fucking beer to calm me down.
I turned into this newly opened bar and sat down at a table in the corner. The beer came soon enough, and everything was awesome, until…
"Oh, look who came to grab some beer~"
Oh, fuck no. Fuck. No. Anyone but him. Why can't I do something awesome today without bumping to something so fucking unawesome? Curse you, ol' Fritz.
He went closer to my table, so fucking close that I have to lean on the wall just to get a fucking safe distance from him.
"Fuck off, Ivan, I'm fucking not in the mood for your little games today."
"Oh, come on, I just need a friend to talk to~" He replied in such an intimidating and sadistic way that I get unawesome goosebumps. Dammit, Ivan, what the fuck do you want with me, the awesome Prussia?
"Get the fuck off me."
"Don't get scared~" He turned my table full of awesome beer over. "I just want a friendly chat…" He threw his vodka bottle to the ground. "With you~"
"Ivan-aru! What are you doing to Gilbert-aru?"
Ivan and I turned to look. Well, I don't really need to turn my head to see who was coming, cause what he said simply gave away his identity. Anyone would know that a guy saying '-aru' would always be that Chinese guy. Not that I'm close with him, hell no. But there's nobody on my awesome list who would have that unawesome language style.
"Oh, Yao! What brings you here~?" That Ivan bitch finally got off me to approach his one and only unawesome friend.
FINALLY. Finally I can breathe.
And I can make the awesome run for it. Hell yeah.
"Hey, Yao, I have some awesome business to attend to! See ya later, bitches!"
…Why the fuck would I say 'bitch' to Yao, again?
I took a look at my phone. 8.30 p.m. Or was it 9:30? To hell, whatever. It was all blurry.
Fuck, I need some dinner. Some dinner that I don't have to spend some fucking money on. Cause those beer took all of my awesome money out, and now behold, the awesome Prussia walking through the streets of Dusseldorf, without any forms of cash in his wallet, his fucking stomach begging to be filled. Shit, this is too unawesome for someone like me.
I need some free dinner, dammit.
I have searched all around this fucking town for that free dinner. And there's nothing. No one would offer the awesome Prussia some free dinner. What, they didn't respect the awesome me just because I am an ex-nation? Go to hell, I tell you. Go to hell, you and your unawesome paid dinner.
At unawesome times like this, all I can do is to seize other people's vital regions and ask them for an awesome dinner. For free, of course. Hell yeah, how I'd like some awesomely hot wursts and Sauerbraten*, in addition to some awesomely delicious black forest cake… Fuck. I'm drooling too much right now.
I was thinking about these awesome food too much that I didn't realize my phone had been buzzing in my pocket all the time. By the time I grabbed it out of my pocket, the screen shows the notifications of "10 new messages" and "3 missed calls". Shit, who would go around and bother the awesome Prussia when he's hungry? Oh, wait, they didn't even know that I'm starving. Oh well. Whatever.
And surprise, it was all from specs. The fuck is going on.
"Come home right now. We've been waiting for you."
"Where have you been? Why didn't you reply my text message?"
"I promise to play one of Mozart's concerto when you get home."
"Go home if you want some wursts. Courtesy of me and your brother."
The last two caught my attention. Mozart's concerto and wursts, for me, the awesome one? Fuck yeah, that'll be too awesome. Especially when bruder makes them. Lutz makes the most awesome wurst in the whole world. Not even that Italian brat or specs can do wursts more awesomely than he did. That, accompanied by the priss's awesome piano skills, would be an awesome ending to this unawesome day. Thank Fritz, at least the day would end up quite awesomely. Or so it seemed. I just have to proof it for my awesome self.
But then, why would they suddenly be so fucking good to me when they've been bitches for the whole day? Was it because… nah, forget about it. Wursts and concertos are too awesome to be missed. Whatever unawesome things had happened, I'd let them go. For the sake of awesome wursts. And awesome piano skills.
"Surprise!"
What the—
"What, you forgot your own birthday?" Specs raised an eyebrow as he asked me.
My birthday? Fuck, what day is it today? Thursday? Wednesday?
"It's January 18th, silly." Lutz tried to knock my head. Fuck, bruder, I'm awake. You don't have to do something unawesome like that. I brushed his unawesome hand off my awesome albino hair and stared around. The once unawesome house had turned into an awesome one, with my awesome Prussian flag hanging from the ceilings, from the windows, from the doors… Oh, Fritz, this is too awesome.
Wait, was it really January 18th?
I consulted my awesome phone, and hell yeah, it's… wait, it's January 22nd. Did they read the calendar upside down or something? Not funny, Lutz. It's fucking not funny. At. All.
"It's fucking January 22nd, Lutz. What, you're trying to trick your awesome brother?" I scolded him for his unawesomeness in calendar-reading.
But West just chuckled. "Haha, I was just kidding. We wanted to celebrate it on Wednesday, but you everyone had been busy. I'm struggling with paperworks, Feli is with Lovino since Antonio is sick, and Roddy is composing his new masterpiece and would rather not be disturbed. So we forced ourselves to be free this Sunday, just for you, bruder."
The fuck?
"Ve~ It's true, Gilbert-san!" The unawesome childish Italian added. Specs also nodded to what Lutz said.
They… they actually remembered my awesome birthday?
"And about this morning, we're… uhm… sorry for ignoring you. We would like you to leave the house so that we can decorate, and we wanted to ask you to leave in… what do we call it… the most indirect way, I should say." Elizaveta explained.
"Fuck, that was the most unawesomely lame explanation I've ever heard in my fucking life!" Hey, don't blame me. That stupid, unawesome explanation would appear as lame to most people.
"We're truly sorry, Gilbert." Roddy bowed in his… I don't know, apology? Tsk, it's always him and his Austrian pride.
"As our apology, may we treat you to an amazing dinner with unlimited beer?" Elizaveta pulled out the most unawesome smile I've ever seen in my entire life.
"Ve~! We have pasta too! And wursts, and pizzas, and…"
"Alright, fine. Give me some fucking dinner and beer. My stomach is unawesomely grumbling right now, so bring that fucking dinner out before I proceed to seizing your vital regions!" I finally gave up to the awesome temptation. Shit, if only I have not been this unawesomely hungry, I would have gone into my room in such an awesomely intimidating way that those bitches would have to bow down to me to ask for a simple apology. But I'd rather sacrifice my awesome Prussian pride than to die of hunger, cause dying of hunger would fucking hurt my pride more, and I can assure you it will never be awesome to see me crying for some fucking food.
And fuck yeah, what an awesome night it turned out to be.
I hope the fic is to your liking! And remember that reviews are highly appreciated! xD
*German terms used in the fic:
Gute morgen: Good morning
Pilsner, Kölsch, Hefe Weizen: German beer. I don't know how they look like or taste like since I'm not a German and still a minor, so... just google it. xD
Ihere gewünschte ansprech Partner antwortet nicht, bitte rufen Sie später noch einmal: The person you are calling is not available to take your call, please try again later. (googling result o_O)
Sauerbraten (and wursts, if you don't know what it is): German foods. Sauerbraten: German pot roast, usually made of beef. Wurst: German sausage.
(Additional) Bruder: brother. (It's kinda obvious. xD)
Thanks for reading once again! xD