this i sa new kinda story. since noone likes the happy stories that i try to write then i shall do one thats not so happy....

chapter 1: my life is nearing its end

It's about how I feel. I can only tell this because I put on a act. I'm not a happy schoolgirl that, when drinks fizzy juice, gets hyper and is loved by almost everyone. I am a young person who needs help as I suffer with things that people call untrue. It basically tares you apart when people point you out and tell you unwanted things about yourself. It's just not right, for I am the one who's pain is growing by the second and it hurts when it overloads. To be honest the only thing in your head is death. I mean how good would it be if you could die and everything went in as a mess. For I know what this feels like. I am an eyewitness and the person who trys to control herself, I am the girl who has to put an act on that she can sometimes forget to do.

If I were you I would love your life, so free, peaceful, quiet. I long for a time of calm and so that I can be alone, but no I have to be watched over and it sucks, it really does. I tried and tried again to end it, my life I mean, but I just couldn't so I self inflicted harm onto my self either way I was never close to feel pain cause I'm the one that feels everyone's pain, and other dark emotions that you would never imagine. Now as I turn a new year I discover more and more un-wanted things that I would hate to think.

The other day in school

It was , as usual, a normal day at school. People kept coming up to me but and wondered what was up I always said' it's nothing, hehe' in my most false attitude, but their was a problem, you see I have always longed to be one of those people who come up to me and ask me. If to be concerned by another person would only cause more pain as I already have. It was final period and I sat alone at the end of the class nearest the window. In 3 minutes Jonathan, the boy who sat beside me or my 'big brudder' and he says would show his face and then make one big argument about how the lift had stopped and the strings were snapping so he had to stop time and save the people who were in danger. You have to love him for that, unfortunately I don't. for I have no feelings of joy, glee, happiness or even……love.sigh oh well better get this period over with.

" Hey hex?" I looked up from my doodles to were I saw a very concerned looking guy, not Jonathan, but someone else.

" Can I help you?" I asked in a try-so-hard-friendly-positive-attitude the person just smiled.

" Yeh I guess you could. I just got moved down a class to here and your friend Jonathan got moved up." Oh so that's were he is.

" Oh okay." Oh shit! I didn't put an attitude on there. I made my voice sadden and was thick of disappointment. The guy just stared and then turned away, as I done the same.

" Oh I'm yoh by the way. I'm like one of Anna's friends." Oh so he knows Anna. She hangs about with len; I think they are going out. I wouldn't like to bump into them on a cold, gruesome night in a hollow alleyway.

" Yeh well I don't know them and I don't know you but I see you know me." My eyes never left the paper as I silenced my voice.

" yeh everyone knows you. Your like the one and only girl who all the guys tke care of and all the girls flee from." Oh joy I am being stalked by a bunch of guys and a bully to the girls population. I just resumed my work as usual until the bell rang 30 minutes after.

I packed my belongings, slinging my bag over my shoulders and entering my headphones into my ears. Blasting the music up to full volume. As I sat and waited on Jonathan I sensed someone was watching me. I turned my gaze round to see that boy, yoh, and len tao staring at me. I hate that, the isolate me when they stare. As I got a bit pissed off I walked up to them

" Umm…. do you have a problem at what you are looking at?" I merely asked a question.

"yeh maybe you can.my friend here says that helikes your attitude. we want you to come over to my house later tonight."hating every word of that,I just turned my back on them and walked back to were I was standing to meet Jonathan. He came out and we walked just chatting about stuff…

Back at present time

Now as I sit in my room with my head against the wall and my back arched while I scribble this down I wondered why they wanted me to go over to his house. Oh well if I feel anybody else's pain then I will slowly die because every emotion is one step closer to death. maybe i will or maybe i won't but i still feel that someone or thing wants me to go. with that i place my notebook on the ground , grab my jacket and start to run to len tao's place..........

I like this story because its so cruel and scary but still it will come in handy one day…

Please r& r people because your opinion means so much and if I do not get at least 5 reviews I will then just stop this story because it must have been boring.