So I got a lot of feels from tonight's episode of OUAT and they were just to much that I had to write this.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, all things related to OUAT belong to A&E.
Also, WHY MULAN?! MY FEEEEELLLSSSSS!
I hope you like this one shot.
You stand and watch her as she waters some plants. You decided long ago that she can look so beautiful and so elegant and graceful doing just about anything. You don't know how long you have been watching you, trying to gather the courage to tell her everything. To put it all out there, to find a reason to stay.
She looks up and spots you; a big smile spreads across her face as she rushes to hug you. You ask if Phillip is around and you are relieved to hear he is not. It is already difficult for you to build courage to tell her this. But if you were to do it in front of him you would cower away like a mouse. You tell her it is not necessary because you only wish to speak to her. To be honest with her.
She won't stop smiling. It is a big, beamingly contagious smile and you can't help but smile back as you try to tell her but your curiosity gets the best of you and you ask her why she's smiling.
"Phillip and I are expecting a baby!"
She is so happy and you're so shocked that you lose your words and your breath catches. But she is looking at you expecting a response so you smile and tell her how excellent her news is and you hug her. But internally you are breaking. Your courage is gone and your mind is made up. You can't stay here. You can't stay and stand by to watch her and Phillip's happiness. Because as happy as you are that she is happy, you won't be able to bear watching them be together and become a family.
You can stay, but it hurts too much. You came here with hope that you could tell her the truth and you could be happy. But you aren't going to ruin her happiness in place of your own.
She asks you for your news and you blurt it out.
"I'm joining Robin Hood's band."
The sadness that washes over her almost makes you take it back. Almost.
"What? You're leaving us?"
You hope for her to ask you to stay. You wish she could see you breaking. But she is happy here, she has her true love and a child on the way. But if she were to ask you to stay you would.
"Yes, I'm afraid so." You tell her. "Goodbye."
This time it is you who hugs her. You hold her tight for it will be the last. You want to remember the feeling of her in your arms, the smell of her hair and when you pull away you look at her face to remember every feature; the natural blush of her cheeks, her blue eyes, her lips and the curve of her jaw.
You turn and walk away. You take a deep breath and center yourself. But the silence lingering as you go is the sound of your heart breaking. It is easier this way, you tell yourself.
If you looked back you would see her watching you with big sad and hopeful eyes as you go and you would see her shaking her head, silently begging you to stay, hoping you will look back.
But you don't. You steel yourself and keep walking, ignoring the sting of tears in your eyes and the feeling of them falling down your face.