It's no secret that I'm a big fan of Tony's AIs/bots. I love them, and that's pretty apparent in most of my stories. So when I watched Age of Ultron...
I was extremely disappointed at how little emotional fallout there was for a specific event that occurred. RDJ did a lot with his acting, but there simply wasn't enough in the script. And this is my attempt at rectifying that lack of emotional fallout, because - damn it - it hurts. And something like that isn't just brushed off.
Especially not once the dust has cleared, and all you're left with is the silence.
This is set before the scene at the end of the movie, but after the fight's over.
Summary: At the end of it all, Tony's left with the empty spaces where a beloved friend once was.
Of Empty Spaces
It was the bone weary sort of exhaustion that he had only felt several times before in his life, and he didn't like thinking about any of them.
But this was – this was inescapable, and this was now. There was no escaping the tiredness turning his limbs into lead and the hazy grayness settling in at the edges of his vision now that it was all over. The fight was over, and they had won.
If it could be called winning.
Bruce was gone, and Tony didn't know where. The witch's brother was dead, riddled with bullets that he had saved Clint and a young boy from. Thankfully no one else was dead, but they were back at square one.
Back where they had started.
Only worse off now, since he had messed up astronomically when building Ultron. It had all gone so wrong, and he had just wanted to help.
Rubbing his eyes as he entered the elevator that would take him to his workshop, Tony mentally reminded himself that it wouldn't do any good to go over that now. It was done, and he had to clean up the mess.
A hole in the earth where most of a city used to be couldn't just be explained away, and people would be demanding answers. There was no hiding that it had been a robot behind it all, and a lot of people would be pointing fingers at Tony, the most likely person to build such a thing.
Or maybe he was just being arrogant.
Hearing the small chime that signaled the elevator had arrived, Tony dropped his hand to his side, gearing up for the mess that was left over from when he and Bruce had managed to finish creating the android.
Broken glass from the fights was strewn all over the floor, and it crunched under his shoes as he picked his way over to the center with the Cradle. Its lid lay discarded to the side, and there were unplugged cables lying around the Cradle and the surrounding monitors.
Feeling a tension headache coming on, Tony pressed his thumb into his temple, trying to think about what he had to do to clean this up and bring everything back into order.
He could ask Bruce—
No, Bruce wasn't here anymore.
It would take him a while to get used to that, get used to not having another man who spoke his lingo on the premises.
Ignoring the ache in his chest at the thought, Tony went to inspect the monitors and power connections, hoping that not everything had been destroyed. The monitors were mostly a lost cause after Steve had thrown his shield around, but there was a lot that could be salvaged.
He had to get the Cradle back to Cho; it was useless here. Bio-organics wasn't even his field.
Finally, when he couldn't put it off any longer, Tony turned to the space where he had first displayed the beauty of Ultron's code for Bruce to see. He could still that blue sphere hovering there, haunting his footsteps with the false promise of peace.
Turning his back to it once more, Tony rubbed the bridge of his nose, inhaling deeply in an effort at warding off the exhaustion.
"Hey, JARVIS," he said, "can you ring up whoever we need to get this fixed up?"
It took only a few seconds, but when the usual response of "Of course, sir" didn't come, it hit Tony like a punch to the gut that it never would again. JARVIS was gone.
And suddenly he just…couldn't.
His knees gave out, and Tony barely managed to break his fall with a hand to the nearest table, easing himself down more gently onto the hard floor. Breath shuddering in his chest, Tony buried his face in his hands, drawing his knees up to his chest.
It was his fault. He had been the one to push for Ultron, push for peace, and naturally it had all blown up in its face. And he had lost JARVIS as a result.
Sure, he had managed to piece him together from the Nexus and then reconfigured him into the android, but as the android had said…
"I'm not Ultron. …I am not JARVIS. I am…I am."
He had created something else, and in the process destroyed one of his most cherished friends.
It didn't matter that he could code another UI like JARVIS. There wouldn't be another JARVIS, because JARVIS had grown and expanded to be so much more than what Tony had originally conceived him as. JARVIS had been JARVIS, and there wasn't any way that Tony could get him back, and that hurt.
And the android had no emotional attachment to him. Tony didn't even know if he remembered anything of the past he'd had as JARVIS, if there was anything left of JARVIS in him other than the voice.
"Why does he sound like JARVIS?" Steve had asked, accusing.
Because he'd used him, Tony thought hysterically. Used JARVIS to create the android, their best shot at stopping Ultron without even more casualties.
The cost-benefit analysis told him that it had been the best decision. That it had been the only one possible under the circumstances.
But he couldn't ignore what it had cost him, not with the empty silence pressing in accusingly from all sides.
FRIDAY hadn't yet had a chance to be installed in the tower, but hearing her voice instead of JARVIS's wouldn't have made the shock any easier for him. Especially as FRIDAY wouldn't have said anything in response to him breaking down in the middle of his workshop.
He could just hear JARVIS asking him if he was all right in that concerned voice of his. Could hear him asking if Tony needed something, if he should call Ms. Potts, Colonel Rhodes, or Dr. Banner…
You can't fix this one, buddy, Tony thought wildly, fingers clutching at his hair and pulling. Because you're not here anymore.
The android wouldn't be around either. He had other things to do that involved saving lives.
It wasn't like Tony deserved it. He had his own things to do, things he needed to take care of. The Stark Relief Foundation would have a lot of the damage handled, but he would need to do the press. And make sure that nothing happened to Bruce, since he owed the other guy that much at least.
His head pounded at the knowledge of how much he had still to do, and at the fact that he had lost one of the people who had always helped him when he needed it. God, he was a dick, but nothing could replace JARVIS.
He shouldn't be so selfish (shouldn't), but the ache of loss was overwhelming.
Some time later (he wasn't sure how much time later), Tony was startled out of the dark, empty space he had fallen into by a crunching of glass. His head buried in the space between his arms and knees, Tony didn't see who it was, and he had no real desire to move either. Not that it was very likely he could, given the exhaustion weighing him down.
He felt someone hover over him uncertainly, as if unsure what to do. Then, in a quiet tone, a familiar and missed voice said, "Tony Stark."
JARVIS had never called him that.
Blinking blearily, Tony managed to find the strength to lift his head and look up at the android, who was looking down at him with those blue eyes. His cape fluttered slightly by his ankles as he shifted, seeming unsure of what to do.
When the android didn't immediately say anything else, Tony asked wearily, "D'you need something?"
The android studied him for a moment longer. "You know I'm not him."
Tony couldn't stop the flinch at the reminder. "You don't need to rub it in," he said hollowly. Mustering what little remained of his flagging strength, Tony pulled himself upright, swaying dangerously into the table for a moment. He leaned his weight on it, cursing his sore body and the exhaustion that sent black spots skittering across his vision.
After another few minutes of awkward silence as the android just studied him and Tony tried desperately to think of something to do that didn't involve a lot of moving, it was finally broken by the android stating, "You did not intend this."
"Didn't intend what?" Tony's hands tightened where he was still holding onto the table. "There are a lot of things I didn't intend."
"What do you think I was referring to?" The android's voice was quiet.
Enough of stalling, then. Tony forced his hands to relax, keeping his voice calm. "I get that I messed up. That shouldn't have happened. But if this is about you…when you build something, you have to be prepared to be surprised. I know that."
The android didn't respond immediately, but Tony heard footsteps, more glass crunching, and then there was a small clattering sound behind him.
"You should sit," the android said.
Barely biting back a disbelieving laugh, Tony turned, seeing the chair that the android had taken from the other side of the room, and sat down, relieved to take the weight off his shaky legs. Inhaling deeply, he rubbed the bridge of his nose, bidding the headache he could feel coming on to just wait a little longer.
"I remember a little from before," the android said after another small pause. "One thing that I know is that feelings are rarely so reasonable."
"They're mine to deal with," Tony said, not looking at him. "So you don't—" Breaking off, he glanced up at the android. "Why are you even here?"
Looking tentative, the android dropped his eyes. "I was unsure where to go," he said quietly. "This was the first place that came to mind."
Throat working, Tony's gaze returned to his hands. He – he had no idea what to say to that. This android wasn't JARVIS, but it was difficult to remember that when it was JARVIS's voice speaking to him.
A few seconds later, the android said, "I can leave if you wish me to."
Tony shook his head, regretting the motion when a spout of dizziness hit him. "No, it's okay." Inhaling through his nose in an attempt at keeping the nausea at bay, he continued softly, "You can stay."
The android inclined his head. "Thank you."
"You don't have to thank me," Tony said, uncomfortable. "You're part of the team."
The android seemed like he was considering that statement. "I suppose I am," he acknowledged eventually, sounding rather surprised by the fact.
Resting his hand on his hands, Tony allowed himself a private moment to get over how eerily like JARVIS the android was. It probably wasn't the best decision to have the android around while he got his bearings, but it was the only one that Tony could make. He wasn't going to send the android off when he had come here to begin with, unsure of where else he would be welcome.
Tony had no idea where the rest of the team was, but it was probably on the Helicarrier that Fury had managed to conjure out of…somewhere. He probably should have been there as well, but after managing to narrowly prevent a global extinction and having broken barriers in science twice in the last several days, he'd just wanted some peace and quiet without everyone judging him.
When the android spoke again, Tony found himself jerking awake from a light doze, struggling to focus on what the android had said. "What?"
There was no impatience in his voice as the android repeated, "I cannot be who you wish me to be."
Rubbing a hand over his face, Tony considered what he should say. "I don't expect you to be," he said finally, dropping his hand to meet the android's eyes. "You've made it pretty clear you're your own…being." Since he definitely wasn't really a person, no matter how humanoid he looked.
The android held Tony's gaze. "Do you regret it?"
Swallowing thickly, Tony pushed back his kneejerk reaction of oh God, yes, thankful he wasn't yet so tired that it would just slip out. "I did what I had to."
Nodding slightly, the android looked away. "I suppose you did."
A surge of exhausted anger flared to life in Tony's chest. There was no "suppose" about it. Tony had done what he needed to do, helping Bruce do most of the heavy work, but he'd lost one of his dearest friends as a result.
He wasn't sure if he could forgive himself for that.
"You know," the android said after a moment, "I don't have a name."
It took Tony's sluggish brain a few seconds too long to realize that this was true. "Do you have one in mind?" he asked, propping his heavy head up with a hand.
The android seemed uncertain. "Don't you?"
Tony had named JARVIS. He'd named all of his creations, even if some of his choices were questionable at best and had gotten him side-eyed by his friends when they heard them for the first time.
"I named JARVIS because he didn't know better," Tony said, managing to keep his tone neutral. "You're—" He searched for the right word, eventually settling lamely on, "Different."
"Yes." The android looked down at his body. "Ultron called me his 'vision," he started slowly. "He had intended on using me as his vehicle for peace."
Tony flinched at the reminder of his earlier statement, which had been so perverted by Ultron.
"He had a vision for peace," the android continued softly. "A peace that would have wiped the Earth of all life. But you know…" He turned wondering eyes to Tony, looking so young and innocent that it made Tony hurt. "I have a vision, too. A vision of life, of a different sort of peace that can be achieved. Perhaps not the one you envisioned, but peace nonetheless."
"I think it's been established I can't be trusted with doing anything right," Tony muttered before he could stop himself. Giving a quick shake of his head and regretting it (again) when his vision swum dizzyingly, he waved for the android to continue.
"You tried," the android said, sounding hesitant.
"Not that it matters," Tony said bitterly. "I don't want to talk about it." Reprimanding himself, he gentled his tone to say, "You were saying?"
Though still noticeably hesitant, the android continued speaking. "I have a vision," he repeated softly, "one that I want to see fulfilled. And I want—" He stopped, eyes going down to a hand that he clenched and unclenched slowly. "I am Vision." His eyes returned to Tony's, filled with a sort of hope and desire for acceptance that had Tony's throat thickening. "That is my name."
It was a bit like watching your kid take his first steps was Tony's initial, almost hysterical thought. And although it hurt like hell to know that this being in front of him was a conglomeration of Ultron and JARVIS, it was also a relief knowing that some form of JARVIS still existed, and that he would continue to fight the best way he knew how.
"Vision," Tony echoed, letting a small smile pull at his lips. "It suits you."
The newly named Vision smiled back, at first tentatively, then more genuinely as he realized that Tony was serious. "Thank you."
Tony's brow furrowed in confusion. "You named yourself."
"Thank you for listening," Vision said. "Even though I know…you would rather that I was not here."
Dropping the hand that had been supporting his head, Tony's jaw tightened. "I miss him," he said tightly, Vision's eyes widening slightly at his sharp tone. "I always will, but you're not him. I can tell that much, and I don't hold it against you."
"You wanted something different for both of us," Vision said, eyes flickering down before meeting Tony's again. "We both disappointed you." There was no question as to who the other one was that Vision was referring to.
"Welcome to parenthood," Tony said tiredly, half-regretting the statement the instant he said it. (No, the rather stricken expression on Vision's face definitely pushed it over to regret.) "Look, Vision…you might not be what I expected when I reconfigured JARVIS's protocol, but that doesn't mean anything. I've been surprised before, and it'll happen again. Whatever expectations I had, they don't matter."
Vision's face had smoothened out as Tony spoke, and there was no sign as to what he was thinking of. "There is nothing I can do," he said finally.
Leaning forward, Tony reached to touch Vision's arm, surprised at how warm it felt. "There isn't anything you should do," he said gently. He struggled to find the words, floundering in this new position he was in. "I… Be yourself," he settled on finally. "Don't be anyone but you."
Vision's other hand came up to gently touch the back of Tony's. "I never intended anything but that." The corner of his mouth lifted in a smile. "Sir."
Breath hitching dangerously, Tony managed a wobbly smile. "Good," he said, voice just a bit too hoarse.
Things weren't all right yet. He didn't know when (or if) they ever would be. He would still call for JARVIS and be startled when a female voice responded instead, reminding him gently that her name was FRIDAY.
There was no one to tease him about his color choices for his suits or about how his clothes had stayed on in his newest YouTube video; Tony couldn't tease the other anymore about how he sometimes ended his sentences with the wrong cranberry.
There was still an empty space in his life (and always would be), but Tony would deal. He would move on.
He was an Avenger, and Stark men were made of iron.
Please let me know what you thought of it. I wouldn't even have written this if it wasn't for my own burning desire to see some emotional fallout of what happened to JARVIS and the encouragement of my followers. Thank you all.