I do not own Death Note or any other the characters.... but I wish I did....
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After death, there is nothingness. There is no heaven. There is no hell. I learned this when I died. For me, however, this bleak world of nothingness is my hell. Everyone I have killed surrounds me. My perfect world will never come to pass now. I was so close, but then I was betrayed.
"Light-kun?" I know that voice so well. Ever since I got here, I've heard it behind me, but I won't turn around. I refuse to. I don't want to see him. The only person I regret having to kill. His death was necessary to achieve my utopia, so I will not apologize. However, I cannot look at him.
I find it ironic though, that I was his first friend, and yet I ended up killing him. Ironic. I am haunted by irony. Killed by the very death note that I hadd killed so many with. Ironic. I couldn't help but laugh a little bit.
"Light-kun?" The voice never stopped. Always calling out for me. I won't turn around though. I can't.
"You killed me Light-kun." I know. I regretted losing you. You were the only one in existence that was my equal. If you would have stopped the case, you would still be alive. Maybe I would as well. I regret your death, but I'm not sorry. I'll never be sorry.
"But I never hated you." I couldn't help but pausing for a second. You should hate me. I want you to hate me. I deserve your hate. Hate me.
"Light-kun? Won't you at least look at me?"
I shook my head. No, I won't look at you. I can't because I know that if I do, my heart will break. I never told you, but you knew didn't you? You must have known that I love you. And yet, you might not know. I smiled when you died. At the moment, I was happy because I had finally defeated you. I was the victor, but without you, I realized that there was no longer a battle and that everything had become lonely.
"I don't blame you, Light-kun, for killing me. I don't hate you. I love you, Light-kun."
My resolve crumbled. I couldn't help it any more. The persistent soul. I needed to see him too. I turned and saw him standing behind me, so close I should have felt his presence and yet I didn't. "L," I whispered his name and reached out my hand to touch his face.
I could have cried out in anguish when my hand passed right through him. I tried again and again, but to no avail. Every time, my hand would not meet contact with him, but instead would pass through. "L?"
L shook his head and also had a look of anguish on his face. "You're not at peace with your death Light-kun. You're soul is not at rest. Until it is, a piece of you will linger with the living. You are merely a projection here and there. You are in neither place."
Anger filled me and if I could, I would punch him. Of course I'm not at peace with my death. Why would I be? I should have lived. I was so close to creating the perfect world. I was going to be a god of a new world, but I was betrayed and killed. I didn't want to die. I didn't deserve to die. I was helping everyone. I was loved by the people.
"My soul will never be at rest," I said, almost sad, but it was true. I could never be at peace. Never. Not even with him by my side.
"I think you will be at peace someday Light-kun, and until that time comes, I will always be with you."
I turned away from L. It was hard to see his face and not be in pain, though I was in pain either way. I began walking down the never ending path that I'd walked since I'd been here. There were others, but they didn't notice me, and I barely took notice to them. We were all just wandering souls.
Instead of continuing to walk behind me as he had, L walked beside me. I didn't yell at him not to, and I doubt he would have listened. I liked having him beside me. It made things seem less lonely. I still wish I could touch him though.
We walk in silence, neither of us saying a word. It's almost as though we're stubborn, but I know it's not. Maybe there's just nothing to say. Maybe. Perhaps we'll walk along this never ending path for the rest of eternity in a peaceful silence. Together.