Super Tin Mario
Once upon a time, there was a mysterious book of prophecies. Many people craved to look into its contents, but nothing good came from reading it. It was later called, "The Dark Prognosticus". But this book was lost later by some idiot. But eventually, a new owner found it… and started the prophecy… or something like that…
The story begins in the Mario Bros. house.
Mario: Yeah I'm bored.
Luigi: Me too…
Mario: Ok, now I… AHHH!!!
Mario trips over the table.
Luigi: MARIO!
Mario: …Ow!
Luigi: …Why did you say … then ow?
Mario: …I don't know… Let's go to Peach's Castle!
Mario and Luigi leave the house. Then a car appears and runs over Mario…
Mario: OW!!!
Toad: MOVE IT!
Luigi: …How did you get a car through the warp pipe?
Toad: Oh I didn't! I built a road to your house awhile back!
Mario and Luigi: WHAT!?!?!
Suddenly cars appear and they all crash into the Mario Bros.' House.
Mario and Luigi: …WE'RE GOING TO SUE!
A whole lot of lawsuits later…
In prison…
Toad: Peach has been kidnapped again!
Mario: Again!?
Luigi: I think Bowser did it. Let's go!
Mario and Luigi try to leave, but forget their behind bars.
Toad: …I still don't know why they arrested you guys…
Mario and Luigi pull out spoons from their pockets and dig their way to Bowser's Castle.
Bowser: ALL RIGHT! TODAY THE KOOPA TROOP WILL RULE! …I hope…
Koopa Troop: YAY! GO BOWSER! WE'RE UNDER ATTACK! GO BOWSER! SERIOUSLY! GO AWAY! YOU STINK!
Bowser: Bwahaha! "We're under attack!" and "I stink!" You guys are the best jokers in the world!
Koopa Troop: NO REALLY! WE'RE UNDER ATTACK! AND WE REALLY DO THINK YOU STINK!
Bowser: Right… HEY! WHO ARE THOSE TWO GUYS WITH THE HAIRY LIPS!? WE SHAVE! Wait… we never have hair to shave in the first place…
Koopa Troop: But you have hair…
Bowser: …
Luigi: We're here for the princess!
Bowser: Wha? I was just about to kidnap her! …Ok so I wasn't this time since I just wanted to go after the Mushroom Kingdom this time.
Mario: Wait if you didn't kidnap the princess, then who did?
???: BLEH HEH HEH HEH HEH BLECK! Cough
A mysterious guy in white appears with the princess.
Peach: HELP!
Mysterious Guy: GAH! How many times does Count Bleck have to tell you, shouting, "HELP!" never works in 100 million years! Yelled Count Bleck… cough yelling always hurts Count Bleck's throat…
Peach: …
Mysterious Guy: Now… eh? Why is Count Bleck's name Mysterious Guy? Asked Count Bleck…
Oops, sorry…
Count Bleck: Much better! Now I have come for YOU Bowser!
Bowser: WHAT!?!?!?
Mario: PRINCESS!
Mario attempts to jump on Bleck, but gets blocked by Bleck's barrier.
Count Bleck: Count Bleck laughs at your pitiful attempt to stop Count Bleck! Now Count Bleck shall make his leave! Says Count Bleck…
Luigi: WOULD YOU STOP SPEAKING IN THE THIRD PERSON!?!?!??
Count Bleck: NEVAHS! YELLED COUNT BLECK! Cough
Count Bleck waves his staff and makes a vortex appear which attacks Mario. Then Count Bleck summons another vortex that sucks in Bowser, Peach, the Koopa Troop, and Luigi.
Later…
Peach: Ugh… where am I?
Count Bleck: Getting married of course! Says Count Bleck…
Bowser: Yeah! To me!
Peach: No.
Count Bleck: TOO BAD! Yelled Count Bleck… cough
Bowser: Yeah!
Count Bleck: Bowser, king of evil and other stuff like that, do you take Princess Peach to be your lawfully wedded wife 'til your games be over? Asked Count Bleck…
Bowser: OH $$ YEAH!
Count Bleck: Same to you Princess. Asked Count Bleck…
Peach: No.
Then another person appears.
Other Person: Yeah um I can't have you do that to the count 'K? So I guess I have to use my brainwashing power, which I completely don't know how I got… and wasn't I supposed to appear earlier?
Other Person…
Other Person: Um, yeah my name is Nastasia. 'K?
Ok then, Nastasia makes red squares appear around Peach.
Peach: EEK! …I…do… not…
Everyone: …
Nastasia: …
Peach: …just…kidding…
Count Bleck: She said it! Said Count Bleck…
Peach: …about…just… kidding …
Everyone: …
Nastasia: …I'll use more power…'K?
Peach: …I…do…
Count Bleck: She said it! …Again! Yelled Count Bleck. THIS TIME IT BETTER BE REAL! YELLED COUNT BLECK!
Peach: …Yes…it…is…this…time… Please insert 5 coins if you wish to continue.
Everyone: …
Then an earthquake appears.
Count Bleck: YES! AS FORETOLD IN THE PROPHECY! THE CHAOS HEART HAS BEEN UNLEASHED! Cough Hack
Nastasia: Um, yeah, that's great count… and also, I'll be getting your lozenge.
Then Luigi appears.
Luigi: Time for Luigi to save the day!
Nastasia: NO! DON'T DO THAT! 'K?
Luigi jumps on Bowser and the Chaos Heart!
Nastasia: OH NO! …Wait… why do I even care?
Luigi: I did it! Huh?
Chaos Heart: HOW DARE YOU! I SHALL KILL YOU ALL NOW!
The Chaos Heart explodes, but Count Bleck and Nastasia are still there, but everyone else is not.
Count Bleck: Hmm… that was weird. Says Count Bleck…
Nastasia: Yeah um… let's go. 'K?
Count Bleck: Good call said Count Bleck.
Count Bleck and Nastasia flip and disappear.
Back in Bowser's Castle…
???: …ario…
Mario: …
???: …Mario…
Mario: …
???: OH FOR THE LOVE OF DAD! WAKE UP!
Mario: Huh?
Butterfly: You're alive!
Mario: Are you a talking butterfly?
Butterfly: No. I'm a Pixl named Tippi!
Mario: Ok.
Tippi: We're going!
Tippi transports Mario and herself to the town of Flipside.
Wizard Guy: Excellent Tippi! I'm Merlon!
Mario: …I know about 10 other Merlons…
Merlon: …I'm the most important Merlon of all. Now this is a Pure Heart!
Mario: It's shiny!
Merlon: You are the hero of the Light Prognosticus! So go and find the Heart Pillar so you can enter the first world!
Mario: Why do I have to go on this quest?
Merlon: Look up in the sky…
Mario looks up.
Mario: WHAT IS THAT!?!?!
Merlon: A void. It'll destroy all worlds unless you stop Count Bleck.
Mario: That ugly bird up there is a void that can destroy all worlds?
Merlon: …I mean the big round purple thing up there!
Mario: Oh. Ok… and I need another reason on why to save the world…
Merlon: I'm lazy!
Mario: …
Mario goes to the left, but he doesn't know that they were on top of Flipside Tower, so he falls next to the Heart Pillar.
Mario: Ow…
Tippi: Put the Pure Heart in!
Mario puts the Pure Heart in and the red door to some world appears.
Mario: How do we get back up?
Tippi: Well we…
Mario: Wait! I'll just climb up!
Tippi: But…
Mario starts climbing.
Tippi: …
Hours later…
Mario: Gasp So tired…
Mario finally gets to the top and finds Tippi.
Mario: How did you get up here so fast? YOU USED YOUR WINGS, DIDN'T YOU!?
Tippi: No, I used the elevator.
Mario: …
Merlon: …Enter the door. And also, take this Return Pipe, because I know how lazy you are. Also, bring Tippi, she can tell you where the Pure Heart is.
Mario: Ok… AND I'M NOT LAZY!
Merlon and Tippi: LIAH!
Mario and Tippi enter the red door.
Meanwhile…
Count Bleck: Count Bleck's Minions! Come forth!
O'Chunks: Gosh count! We were here the whole time!
Dimentio: Yes it's true!
Count Bleck: …Anyways, Count Bleck is now closer to destroying all worlds!
O'Chunks: That's just super count!
Dimentio: Yes it is!
???: SORRY I'M LATE!
Dimentio: …He was the only one who wasn't here.
O'Chunks appears from the sky.
O'Chunks: WHAT!? How'd I beat myself here!? …If that's even possible… and how did I fall from the sky? And what happened to my accent?
O'Chunks: Mimimimimimimimimi O'Chunks, you are silly!
O'Chunks turns into Count Bleck.
"Count Bleck": I can't believe that you were late though! That's just not right!
O'Chunks: HEY!!! You can't fool me Mimi! And also, you can't go around borrowing the count's face! Because that's just unnatural… and the only reason I'm late is because that little weirdo there took my shoes!
Dimentio: I only took your boots to counter the smell of Mimi's stupid perfume!
Mimi: WHAT!? THAT WAS YOU!?!? I'M GONNA SUE YOU DIMENTIO!!!
Dimentio: For what?
Mimi: What you did!
Count Bleck: Eh, Count Bleck does not care. Said Count Bleck…
"Count Bleck" turns into Peach.
"Peach": You're the best count! Hanging out with you is my idea for a perfect world! …Not really actually…
Dimentio: Yeah because Mimi's perfect world was a gem-filled pool with hunky lifeguards… with some chocolates in the shape of little hearts and have peace, tranquil quality time eating gourmet food breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, and brunch, with each meal having a different kind of light dipping sauce everyday…
"Peach" turns into Bowser.
"Bowser": HAVE YOU BEEN READING MY DIARY AGAIN DIMENTIO!?!?!?!
Dimentio: Maybe… maybe not…
"Bowser" transforms into Mimi
Mimi: Oh, ok then. Shouldn't I stay transformed as Bowser?
Count Bleck: …You all know Count Bleck is still here… said Count Bleck…
Count Bleck's Minions: Sorry count! …NOT!
Count Bleck: …Eh, Count Bleck will still (not) make all your dreams come true if this plan works! But we need to follow the Dark Prognosticus to do it! (Stupid little ingrates of minions…)
Nastasia: Um count, yeah someone did something about dimensions. I'm thinking it's the hero in the prophecy… but that's just a guess… I mean it could actually be the pizza guy…
Count Bleck: WHAT!??! A PIZZA GUY!? Yelled Count Bleck… Cough Hack
Nastasia: Or the hero…
Count Bleck: Oh… that's not as bad as the pizza guy, said Count Bleck.
Nastasia: I'm pretty sure… not really…
O'Chunks: COUNT BLECK! Will you let me go and get chunky with this hero you're going on about?
Count Bleck: …Wait… what did you say? I can never understand you… wait, how can I not understand you in the first place?
O'Chunks: OO
Mimi: I'll put up the subtitles.
O'Chunks: NOOOOOOOO!!!
"COUNT BLECK! Will you let me go and get chunky with this hero you're going on about? OO"
Count Bleck: Oh, ok.
O'Chunks: …Ok! CHUNKS AWAY! …AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
O'Chunks falls off his platform, which happens to be VERY high up from the ground.
O'Chunks: I'm ok! I fell on my spleen!
Dimentio: I think I'll be heading out myself… mostly because I'm bored and I think these meetings are stupid, especially you count.
Dimentio disappears.
Count Bleck: …
Mimi: I'm hungry…
Count Bleck: BLEH HEH HEH HEH HEH BLECK! Let's see that hero deal with O'Chunks! …I'm hungry too.
Nastasia: I'll get the Cake Mix…
Mimi and Count Bleck:D
Mimi: Wait… why is the author trying to send another FF if Tin Mario: The Thousand-Year Door isn't done?
Count Bleck: No clue said Count Bleck.
Mimi: WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP SPEAKING IN THE THIRD PERSON!?
…What? Is it against the rules for me to not ask questions? Next chapters: Chapter 1: Merlee's Mansion.