Lily's eyes.
He was dead and he knew it. Lying on his back his eyes open wide with nothing but white in front of him. He was dead. The last thing he had seen on earth were the eyes of Harry Potter, the eyes that had belong to Lily Potter, the love of his life. He felt ridgid. He only hope that the memories that he had given Harry were sufficent enough to let him know what he had to do. He regretted it. He had not known what was going to happen all those years ago when he had decided to follow the Dark path to the power of Lord Voldemort. Maybe if he hadn't she would have loved him back and if not maybe he could have protected her. It was him that had given Voldemort the information that had led to her death and he had spent the last sixteen years looking out for her son. He hated knowing that Lily's son had also been James' son. He had tried to push it out of his mind but when Harry had arrived at school he had looked too much like James for him to even perhaps like the boy. Still he looked after him for Lily's sake. It just hadn't been enough.
He suddenly realised he was naked. The springing to his feet was instantaneous. He wished he was clothed and then as soon as he had thought it robes had appear just a few metres from him. He crossed the distance quickly and threw on the robes in a hurry. Dressed he felt relived. He peered around. Nothing was familiar just a white mass of smoke that seemed to linger on surfaces. The space he was in was large but there was a sense of nothingness. He could see and he could feel but he couldn't smell a thing. There was no scent upon the air and there was silence. Even his own movements made no sounds. This was a strange afterlife. There seemed like there was no time like everything moved at a much slower place. This was a place where time stood still and day did not fade into night. He moved silently forward trying to see what the place was like but the white smoke lingered as though unsure itself where they were. A sigh escaped his lips. The sound was small but startled him. There was sound in this place after all.
'Severus.'
He spun on his heel from the sound of a familiar voice behind him and there she was as beautiful as ever. She stood dressed in emerald green robes that brought out her eyes, her red hair flowing over her shoulders. She smiled at him. He moved cautiously towards her. She had not changed in the slightest. He looked around worried as though James Potter might appear from anywhere and take her away from him. As he reached her he looked into her eyes. The eyes that he had looked into as he had died. The eyes that in this face he had not seen for many years. The eyes that had once shown him her hurt at his betrayal of her. A smile was still upon her lips and he wanted to kiss her so badly. Yet he knew he couldn't. She did not love him like that. It was James she loved. James bloody Potter. Once they had been best friends and then they hadn't been for they each chose different paths. He chose a path different from hers. Suddenly her arms were round his neck hugging him. He wrapped his own arms behind her back and hugged her too. It felt so good to have her in his arms. It had been so many years. So many years since he had even touched her. It felt like forever that he held her for, forever in the place where time stands still. Then they parted.
'Lily, I …' he didn't know what to say. To say he was sorry for all the wrong he had done, to say that he had been trying to make it right ever since he had done it. To say sorry that it was due to him that her death had been caused, due to him that her son had gone through everything he had gone through. To say sorry for what was about to happen to Harry, to say sorry for things that he had never meant to say, to say sorry for the path he had chosen. The build up of emotion in his throat was huge and there was a tear glistening in his eye.
'Sssssh Sev,' whispered Lily putting her finger against his lip silencing him. 'I know. I know you regret the wrong choices you made in life, I know you tried to put them right and I know how much you tried to help my son. I am so grateful to you, I am so grateful for you.'
He felt like he could cry. Her words had touched him somewhere nobody else could reach. It was somewhere that only Lily had ever touched or ever been. He carried her in his heart. He didn't know how to respond. What could he say that could ever explain everything that had happened? He just didn't know how she could forgive him so easily knowing everything that he had done on the first path he had chosen. It seemed that like Dumbledore Lily believed that it wasn't the path he had started upon that matter but the path that he had finished on that made him who he was. He didn't know what to do as he looked at her. She smiled and he smiled back. A smile that he hadn't felt upon his face in such a long time.
'I just want to say,' he started to say and then stopped. The emotional build up in his throat had been like a wedge and he tried to push it down. Lily stood silent watching him struggle but waiting for him to finish.
'I am sorry for everything.'
Her hand went slowly to his shoulder and squeezed. Her eyes held the warmth that she used to look at him with. The warming glow of a bond of friendship. He knew that was all that was ever going to exist between him but he come to realise that he wouldn't take it for granted. He loved her so deeply for so long that loosing her had been unbearable. He never wanted to loose her again.
The out of the corner of his eye he saw a movement even though no sound came. The black robes of a man came up from behind Lily walking slowly. He was instantly recogniseable. His black hair a mess at the back with the same round spectacles perched on his nose in front of deep brown eyes. There was no smile on his face, no look of glee like there had been in school. His face was exactly the same as the face he had looked into as he had died. He took a sudden step back from Lily and her hand reluctantly dropped to her side. She turned slightly to see the person coming up beside her. She smiled and he smiled back as James "Prongs" Potter came to rest beside her.
He didn't know what to do. There he was again with Lily by his side when he had always longed for Lily to be by his side for that loving look she had just bestowed on James to be directed to him. Anger and grief welled up inside him all at the same time. He didn't know what to do. He felt like running but he had no idea where to run and so he stayed rooted to the spot waiting for their hands to connect and for some smart, cheeky comment but it didn't come. His hand never went for Lily's and when it moved it went out to him in a guesture.
'Welcome brother.'
If James' lips hadn't of moved he wouldn't have believed it. He didn't know how to react. He stared openly at James' outstretched hand gaping quite in shock. He closed his mouth slowly and looked up into the face of James Potter. His face was sincere not hint of a prank on it. His bore into him trying to make him understand that this was no joke and that he meant it. He switched his eyes to Lily who smiled at him. He didn't know if he quite wanted to shake the hand or if he would rather just punch James full force in the face. The anger and pain of all the years he had been tortured by him seemed to be lessened now almost gone. He didn't quite know what to do. Then suddenly he put his right hand into James' and shook it.
'Thank you for everything,' whispered James.