AN: PER TINY19 (Formally InevitablyWicked19) - So after watching ep 5x09 and a looooooot of fangirling on my part, I convinced pokiepup to write a oneshot where she could continue what happens after that final scene. Then one thing lead to another, and next thing I know she's convinced me to write it with her (I still don't know how that happened). So here it is, from our Doccubus' hearts to yours. Enjoy! :)
AN: PER POKIEPUP - Thank you to all reading hope you enjoy this one shot (told in two chaps) HUGE thank you to Tiny19 who did so much more of the work, and complete PR. I hope you had as fun writing with me as I did with you.
LAUREN'S POV
.
.
"I am so sorry." My hand running through my hair, shaking my head as I make it out of the crosswalk. "I really cannot believe that I ended up being so late. I had a planned schedule to avoid this exact situation." Her head does this slight tilt, brow furrowing ever so slightly. "You standing here alone waiting for me on the corner. I really hate being late, even more so to meet you and-you aren't even paying attention." Nervous chuckles turning to laughter, as I just kind of shrug. "What?"
"I was just thinking how adorable you are when you get nervous and ramble." Her lips curving into a smile as she leans in stealing a quick kiss. "Almost beats geek speak." Another stolen kiss as I feel her arms unfold against my stomach. "Almost." A whisper hushed on my lips, her hands slipping between my arms to rest on my waist.
"I'm beginning to think I should be late more often if this is the kind of greeting I'm going to be getting."
"Oh," She nods, trying not to laugh as her nose playfully brushes against mine. "So you want to keep me waiting on street corners in the middle of the night?"
"Are you saying you wouldn't?" Unintentional smirk tugging at the corner of my mouth, hands running up her arms until they find a home on her shoulders.
"I'd wait an eternity for you if I had to," Her eyes hold mine with a sudden intensity I wasn't expecting, this warm, sweet smile plastered over her face wavering. "Kinda wish I had to actually."
"Bo," Her name rolls off my tongue with such ease I hadn't even realized I had begun to speak. I wanted to make a joke, but with the look in her eyes-on her face I couldn't bring myself to. I know exactly what she means, what this whole unfortunate series of events lately has brought on. We've always had so many issues, so many obstacles, but mortality was only ever really thought of in the moment. Survive this bad guy. Survive this catastrophe or that catastrophe. Now though, something's changed. I suppose she's just realized she's actually capable of a forever-and I'm not. Hard to plan a forever future when forever has very different meanings for the other person involved. "Wouldn't you much rather spend an eternity with me, rather than waiting for me?"
"That would be ideal," She lets out this laugh, gradually taking a step back. "Yes." Her smile still there, but now with this sight weight behind it.
"Well, how about we just start with tonight," my eyebrow raising as I can't keep a smile from my face. "See how it goes?"
"That sounds great, Dr. Lewis". She salutes at me in the most adorable way, and then grabs my hand softly as we start walking.
Interesting how most couples take the simple things, like holding hands, for granted. But for us, this was something rare, because for starters we didn't get the chance of being together that long, and even when we were, life for us has constantly been about defeating evil faes, saving innocent lives, basically saving the world. So moments like this don't happen often for us. I can't help but stare and smile at her, God she is so beautiful, I still have a hard time believing I found someone like her.
"You know, some people consider staring rude". She says through this chuckle, raising her eyebrow at me. "Although in your case I just find it very sexy". I just roll my eyes at her, unbelievable how she can be so adorable. But her smile quickly fades and it's replaced by a concerned look. I don't even need to ask to know what brought that up, after everything that happened today.
"So," I pause just for a few seconds. "What did he say?" My tone going from playful to serious, knowing that this would not be an easy subject to talk about. But if there's anything, among many, many things that Bo and I needed to work on to make our relationship work, is communicating with each other, ask the hard questions, listen to the hard answers.
"More lies. He's trying to brainwash me but I won't let him." She tries to sound tough, like she always does, and to most people she would sound convincing, but not to me. I know her too well, and I know that deep down this whole issue with her father hurts her. It hurts her because she knows he has a pull on her that she's never been able to explain. It hurts her because for now there's no way of sending him away. It hurts her because she's afraid that his darkness will eventually grow inside her and she will lose herself. But I won't let it, I will never allow it. I'll remind her every day of the good inside her, of all the people she's saved, of how kind and big her heart is.
"Right. Now, I know that him being here changes everything, but you can try to look on the bright side a little bit". I emphasize on the 'can', because I know it's not easy for her to be optimistic right now. But if my experiment earlier in the lab worked, there IS something to celebrate. I just have no idea how to tell her, how to even begin to tell her. I don't even know if it worked.
"Uh-Mark got stabbed, Iris and Cece are dead and my dad is at your clinic. Please, tell me the bright side because I'm all tapped out for my gratitude journal". Almost scoffing that last part out, she turns to face me with this 'seriously' look, and even though it sounds sarcastic, I know she actually has hope that I will tell her something positive, something that will make her forget today's events, something that will make her forget that one day too soon she's going to lose me.
"I can think of three reasons." I laugh, running out several steps ahead her before turning back around. I was never one to draw attention to myself. Never the one to hop up on lunch tables and proclaim my love, nor hold a radio over my head in someone's front lawn. I just wasn't the type, I wish I could be. I wish I could let myself be that carefree, perhaps that's why tonight I don't care there's people scattered all of the sidewalks. I don't care the restaurant windows are full of people. I don't care about any of it actually, nothing other than her.
"What are you doing?"
"One, we're alive. Two, we just saved the whole world. And three," For a moment standing here, staring at her I lose my train of thought. For a moment I find myself fall unusually still, unusually calm and it all falls about except for her. Except for a single thought. "I love you Bo Dennis."
"I love you too. Now get off the street," She gives me that little half laugh as she waves me over. "You're making me nervous."
"What are we gonna have? Are we gonna do pizza or Thai?" I ignore her comment, letting this peculiar feeling of anxiousness and adrenaline wash back over me. It's the oddest thing, I've never been one at a loss for words, but this feeling I can't quite describe. I'm so anxious, hyper-but not in a bad way. It's quite the opposite actually. Honestly I've never felt more alive. "Or—or-or enormous cocktails?"
Life can be so funny, after all there is a reason why they say if you want to make God laugh then tell him your plans.
One moment you can't get over how alive you feel, more than you ever dreamed possible and the next moment-you're dead.
I didn't see it coming-maybe I did. Maybe I just ignored it, I felt alive and invincible-I was too careless. I worked so hard, hoped so hard for a forever and now-now this is how it ends.
I can feel her hovering over me-hear her breathing-I think she's saying something. God, I'm so sorry Bo.
Wait-I can hear her. More than hear her I can feel her over me-I can feel a lot actually. The cold concrete beneath me, the blood on my face-most of all I can feel pain. God, there's so much pain-I can't be in pain if I'm dead.
I don't feel in control anymore-I felt the pain and now I don't know what I feel.
My arm bends, hand touching her as my eyes open and my lips part almost all in one motion. One motion without thought. This surge of energy-of life-of exhilaration tearing through every fiber of my body. I have no thoughts-I have no feeling-only a need for this feeling-for her.
Suddenly it's gone-the pain is gone.
"I-wha-Lauren?" She doesn't move, just stares into my eyes as tears fall from hers. "I—I don't-you-"
"Bo," Her name passes my lips in the form of a whisper, my heart aching watching how confused and scared she is. "Bo just-just listen."
"You-we need to get you to a hospital." She stands up abruptly, hand running over her face to wipe the reaming tears away.
"I-I don't need a hospital."
"You-I think-I think you do. You were just hit by a car," She trails off looking one way down the street and then the other. "A car hit you Lauren." Her voices raises a bit. "I really think that-you should need a hospital."
"Bo," I try to stand up but I look over at my legs and they're broken, ok I guess not all the pain was gone. She gets on her knees again to help me sit up slowly. I cup her cheek as best as I can, but she looks so worried that I don't know what hurts more, having been run over by a car or the fear I can see in her eyes. "It's okay Bo, I really don't need a hospital".
"I repeat, you were hit by a car Lauren!" She raises her voice even more this time, tears falling freely from her eyes. "I have to call an-" Before I realize, it's happening again, this surge of energy, of life, I can feel it flowing into me, it only lasts for a few seconds and when it stops, I can see her face, tears still in her eyes, she looks so shocked, and she's expecting me to look shocked as well but I'm not, which only makes it worse for her.
Looking over at my legs, there's still so much blood but I can move them again. They've already healed. That's-wow that's amazing. I manage to stand up with her help. Only a slight headache and dizziness being the result of what just happened. This is unbelievable, I should be dead, and here I am alive and kicking. She's just staring at me at this point, desperately waiting for me to explain this-whatever this was.
"I promise I'll explain everything, but for now could we just get off the street and go home?" I start looking for a cab, but first I walk us over to the sidewalk, we really had to get off the street, the last thing we needed was a repeat of the recent events.
"Home? Lauren, a car ran you over, how are you even standing up?! I don't understand-I-this doesn't make any sense." Finally, a cab pulls over and I open the door for her. "Lauren, what's happening?!"
"Bo please, let's just go home and then I'll tell you everything." Making a gesture for her to get in, I plead her with my eyes and that seems to do the trick as she slides in and I follow. This was not going to be a fun ride home.
"Where to, ladies? It's a beautiful night to-" He stops abruptly once he looks at me, clothes soaked in my own blood, my face as well. "Oh my God, hospital?"
"You'd think, but the lady here doesn't want a hospital."
"No, it's fine." All I get is a look of disbelief from him, and I can't really blame him. Seeing this much blood, I shouldn't even be conscious. "Really, no need for a hospital." I wave him off in the most polite way I can manage and give him the address of the clubhouse.
"Please stop looking at me like that." After a good 6-7 minutes, I break the awkward silence. I had to say something; she just kept staring at me, more intently with every second that passed.
"Like what?" Eyebrow raised, harsh tone, like she was defying me. I can tell she's mad, but more than anything she's hurt, I can hear it in her voice.
"Like I'm a walking zombie."
"Well can you tell me I'm wrong for thinking that?" Arms folded on her chest. All that worry replaced with hurt and anger, she must be thinking I've been hiding this from her for who knows how long.
"No, but there's an explanation." I try to stay as calmed as I can, task proven not to be easy with her looking at me like that, accusing me of god knows what. Honestly, I'm still trying to figure things out myself.
"One I'd love to hear." She almost mumbles, tearing her eyes off of me and looking out the window. Looking over at her, I can see a tear running down her face, but she quickly wipes it away, not wanting me to see just how much she's hurting. I just want to grab her face and kiss her, tell her how much I love her and that everything was going to be okay, but I know this time that wouldn't be enough, this time I really have some explaining to do.
"I promise you, you'll know soon enough." I take her hand in mine, and for a second I expect her to pull away, but she doesn't. She doesn't look at me though; she just keeps looking out the window, hoping for this ride to be over so she could get some answers.
Sighing to myself, I relax in my seat. This was going to be a long night.
This wasn't how this was supposed to go. This wasn't how this was supposed to be. Then again what with us goes according to plan?
It's another six blocks or maybe seven before she starts glancing over at me. She won't say a word, won't move her hand, but she'll keep stealing glances. It's kind of ironic, that sums up the first few months of us, stolen glances and gazes-never talking.
I notice the driver continuing to look up into the mirror, I don't blame him. I don't suppose it's every night he gets someone who looks like they should be an extra in a zombie flick. Sighing once again, I find myself looking over at her. She knows it though, and won't face me. It doesn't matter though, I can see her reflection in the window. She's so hurt-so scared-so confused.
I just got her back.
She pulls her hand from mine and my lips part to protest until I realize we've come to a stop, our stop actually. Nothing feels normal-yet nothing has ever felt so familiar. I slide out of the cab following her, I suppose I could have just gotten out of my door, but then again I have a tendency to follow her. So I follow her down the alley, up the stairs and to her room.
All without a single word.
I can't remember the last time we've gone this long without speaking, at least when actually in each other's company. It's painful-it's terrifying.
She holds her hand up and for a second I think she's going to yell-but she just turns and walks into the bathroom. I get it-she doesn't want me to follow this time. Clearing my throat I pull off my jacket, letting it fall to the floor. A mess at this point is the furthest thing she's going to care about. I kick off my shoes, adding them to the pile.
It's so strange, I feel-amazing-physically anyway, but I can still feel where the breaks were. Still feel where each and every cut was. Is this what she feels every time? It's actually-quite frightening.
"Sit down." She orders, walking back into the room.
"Bo?"
"Sit down." She repeats herself, sitting on the edge of the bed. This big mixing bowl in hand, wash cloth in the other.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't." She shakes her head, staring up at me waiting to sit. "Just sit down and let me take care of you." Her voice breaks as she looks down into the bowl.
"I-I really don't-"
"Need me to take care of you?" Her attention snaps back to me, this glare that's one wrong word away from turning into tears.
I don't say anything, I just oblige her. I can feel my hands trembling, and I honestly don't know if it's adrenaline or nervousness. I find myself holding a breath as she dips the tip of the cloth into the water. I want to say something-but what? What can I say to fix this? How can I make her feel better when I don't even know what I'm feeling? How can I explain what's happening when I'm not even sure-completely.
"Does it hurt?" She whispers, my head turning a bit as she tries to wipe away some of the blood from my temple.
"N—No."
"Good." I find myself continuing to stare at the bed, letting her wipe the blood away. It's rough, unintentional from her, but it doesn't hurt. It probably should, but it doesn't. "There isn't a mark." The way she says it, the quieted nature of it tells me she's saying it more to herself than anything. "You really don't need a hospital, do you?"
"No Bo, I really don't."
"You know," She laughs, and it's not cold, but it's not normal either. "I kept thinking that, you know, you see these things on the news where people after accidents get like super human strength. Or they're in shock and don't feel anything. Or there are miracles-I mean I've been kinda short on experiencing those, but I kept thinking about how you hear these things. The whole ride home I kept thinking about that, and kept telling myself that, that's what this was."
"Just let me-" I reach up for her hand, but she pulls it away. Dropping the blood stained cloth into the bowl before standing up and placing on the nightstand.
"I don't understand Lauren. I'm trying to understand what happened, and I can't."
"Okay, okay! Could you please sit down so I can explain?" She complies, but I can tell she's not pleased to do so. "Remember how I was able to make the serum to turn Evony into a human?"
"Vividly." Her smile is cold and her tone is sarcastic, since she knows exactly how I administered the serum. Did her eyes just turn blue? I-think they did. Of course my girlfriend would get jealous at a moment like this. God, I love her. Okay focus Lewis, it's time to explain.
"Well, ever since that happened I've been trying to work on the opposite scenario." I lower my eyes, a feeling of shame rushing over me because I know this is something I should've discussed with her, but yet again, I know Bo better than she thinks I do, and I know she wouldn't have been okay with it.
"Yes I know, to turn Evony fae again." She sounds so frustrated, and in a way, I can't help but think it's adorable.
"No-well yes that's what I've been trying to make it look, but not just for Evony." I finally have the courage to look up. Pleading eyes meeting hurt ones and it kills me to see her like this.
"Why didn't you tell me?" There it is, I knew this was coming.
"Would you have been okay with it?"
"Of course not! It's too dangerous Lauren!" She yells and she goes to stand up but I grab her hands and I don't let her. No, this time we are going to actually talk-or yell-but no walking away.
"I know, Bo!" I keep my hands firm on hers, and I feel her calming down a little, enough so I can loosen my grip but not completely. "I don't think I've ever been so careless before. But I couldn't stop myself." I know it's ridiculous for someone who has been studying genetics for so many years now. I knew the risks and the potential consequences and I still went ahead, but as a terrible excuse as it sounds, it's the truth, I couldn't help myself.
"I need to know two things." She takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. That's progress, small victories I guess. "How and why?"
"Well the how took me a long time. I had my original serum formula, and after months of research I was able to figure out that the key to make the serum have the opposite effect was to isolate the mesenchymal cells, which are essential to the genetic modification process." The confused and annoyed look she has on her face tells me that my Dr. talk is not having the charming effect it usually has.
"Okay I know I've always said your geek speak was sexy, but could you just explain in plain English this time please?" Called it. Okay no geek speak, I can do that.
"Basically, if I somehow managed to isolate those cells, I could turn human cells into fae cells."
"Okay, that's better."
"The problem was that those cells are basically impossible to isolate, and the only way to do it was to inject a virus, but every time I tried that, the stem cells immediately destroyed it. I had been stuck for months until-" I know I will regret this next part as soon as the words leave my mouth.
"Until what?" Her face goes from annoyed to serious in a split second, and I know she won't like this.
"Until Hades gave me an idea." There it is, I said it. A few seconds go by and nothing, just silence. I realize I had lowered my head again and I try to look up but I can't, because I know exactly how angry she is right now.
"Hades? Are you serious? You went to him for help?!" She's yelling again, so much for calming herself down, but I knew this was going to be bad.
"No, of course not, he was just at the clinic after the whole Mark situation and he saw my board and gave me a suggestion, that instead of trying a pathogenic virus, I should try a benign virus, that way the cells wouldn't attack it." Yeah well done Lauren, because this makes it okay that you discussed some of your most confidential research with your all-powerful-king-of-darkness father-in-law.
"Did you ever stop to think why my father would want to help you Lauren? He is not exactly a warm and fuzzy dad. He must have had an ulterior motive; he could've been trying to kill you for all you knew." She's so angry, and I can't really blame her, on top of everything that's happened today she has to deal with this.
"I know, of course I was cautious. I didn't just take his word for it. I did some tests on the samples I had and every single time I was able to modify them. It worked every time Bo. So-"
"So you injected yourself with a serum that could've very well killed you?!" I can't even finish before she snaps at me again, pulling her hands away from mine and standing up, walking away from me, towards the dresser. This time she's so fast that I can't stop her from doing it.
"But it didn't. Bo, it didn't kill me. I'm still here. You don't have to be scared because I ran tests on myself afterwards and everything is fine, normal, I'm just fae now." I keep trying to calm her down, but all I keep doing is making it worse. I wish I knew what to say so she would stop being scared and hurt but the right words just won't come out.
"Now my second question is," She takes a deep breath again, she's trying so hard to understand. "Why? Why on Earth would you risk your life like that to turn yourself fae?" The second she says those words things change, and now we're on an even playing field, because I go from calmed to furious. Calm down Lauren-screw that. Did she really just ask me that?
"Do you really need to ask me that Bo?" Without realizing it, I'm glaring at her now, calmed and soft tone replaced with a harsh one and it's out of my control.
"Yes Lauren, apparently I do. Because I never told you that you needed to change who you were for me. The fact that you were human never stopped me from loving you. I can't understand why you would do such a stu-"
"Because I love you Bo!" I raise my arms in the air, yelling it out. Surprising her and myself too.
"I love you too, but-"
"No-no Bo. I LOVE you. From the moment I met you I've loved you. From the first not so professional examination I've loved you." My tone serious but softer now, I just really want to make her understand why I did this. "And even though you never wanted my mortality to be a problem for us, it is, it's always been there, because you've always known you were going lose me one day. I saw the look on your face earlier, the disappointed look because you knew we couldn't have a forever, at least not a forever in fae terms."
"So you risked your life to be with me? What if the serum hadn't worked the way you wanted it to? What if it had killed you?!" I know she's right, but at this point it doesn't really matter who's right and who isn't. I just want to make her understand.
"But it didn't!" I guess we're both on yelling terms now. "It was risky and careless but I would do it all again Bo. Because you once told me you wanted to give this a real shot, be together. But as long as I was human, that was never going to happen." My mind can't help but wander off for a second to that day, the day she told me it was time, time for us to be together, because life was too short-for me anyway. That day I couldn't believe that a powerful fae like Bo could ever want a relationship with me, with someone whose life wasn't even her own.
"It was stupid Lauren, you risked yourself for me! Why did you do such a stupid thing?!"
"Because I wanted to be enough for you Bo!" Raising my voice even higher, I walk over to her, cupping both her cheeks softly and looking straight into her eyes, hoping they would let her know I was okay, that we were going to be okay, because I love her more than words could ever express. "In every way, I wanted to be enough, so you wouldn't have to worry about hurting me, or having to feed from others, to be able to heal you when you get hurt," My thumbs brushing her tears away, mine falling freely down my face. I think neither of us had realized we had been crying for a while now. "For us to be able to make love without you being afraid of losing control." She tries to look down, embarrassed, but I don't let her. She never lost control with me and I know she would never allow herself to. But I just wanted control not to be something either of us had to worry about. My voice starts to break, and it becomes harder to speak, but I need to tell her everything I'm feeling. "I wanted to be able to give you all that I am and have it be enough. Because like I told you earlier, I love you Bo Dennis, and I want to be your forever."
"I love you Lauren, so much, but-I just need a second." She takes a step back, wiping her face dry. I can't help watching her, frightened of what happens next. Would she run? Would this be the end of us-again? Would this really be the end? Was it worth it? "I just don't know how I should feel."
"It's okay." I smile softly, taking a seat on the bed once again. "I'm not going anywhere."
"I want to be happy. Lord knows I want to be happy about this, but there's just the consequences and-"
"That's tomorrow's problem, or the next day, or the day after that." My eyes fall to the floor, small laugh escaping me. "As it turns out, we really may have forever, so time-not really a big deal at this second."
"Lauren," She sighs my name, it must be a good thirty seconds of silence before I look up to face her. I can't help being a bit taken back to find her practically in front of me. I hadn't even heard her move, I guess I was too worried worrying about what was going to follow my name. "What's tonight's problem?"
"Wh—what?" I look up into her eyes, nearly getting lost in their depth. I'm not actually sure if I'm confused by the question or by this unreadable look she's got.
"You said that the consequences," She holds out her hands giving me no choice but to take them. "And everything else is a problem for tomorrow." Her jaw tightens, eyes moving over my face. "So I ask, what's tonight's problem?"
"I wouldn't call it so much of a problem as a risky adventure."
"Ooh, my favorite kind." She smirks, leaning down almost awkwardly to drape my arms over her shoulders before crawling onto the bed. Her knees pressed up against the outsides of my thighs, as she lowers herself into my lap.
"So I um," I have to clear my throat softly, giving me a second to try and focus myself. Suddenly I'm feeling that wave of anxiousness again, my heart beating so fast I think I should be worried. "Wow completely having trouble keeping my thoughts in check."
"It's annoying, isn't it?" She laughs, nodding playfully as she leans down kissing my neck.
"I-don't know if annoying is quite the word I would use."
"Just wait," Words trailing off as gently bites at my neck, sucking after each one. Her hands between us, pulling at my shirt. "You'll get there."
"Where is there exactly?" I giggle out against her shoulder, giving a playful bite of my own. I don't know what she's talking about, annoying is the furthest thing I would call this. Distracting- preoccupying-interesting-plenty of things, but not annoying.
She pulls back, smirking devilishly. She doesn't say anything, much to my surprise. Instead she just leans down, kissing up my jaw before finding my lips. Soft kiss after soft kiss, playful nip to my bottom lip before she sooths it with her tongue. She loved that move, and I have to be honest-I do too.
"Have I mentioned how much I love your lips?" Question whispered against my lips, tongue already darting past her own to tease them again.
"Have I mentioned that I love yours?" I lean back just a bit, looking at her with my eyebrow raised. Hands taking a cue from hers as they maneuver themselves between us, unbuttoning her pants.
"My, my, Doctor Lewis."
"What?" Smile covering my face as she leans down, biting my bottom lip.
"Usually takes a little more-persuasion to get you to be so forward."
"Are you complaining?" Words trailing as I manage to pull her zipper down further. "Because I could most certainly dial down."
"Don't you dare." She presses her hips down, earning a soft moan and preventing me from completing my task.
"Yes ma'am." I tease, leaning up to find her lips.
Soft and gentle overlooked this time as my tongue slips passed her lips without an ounce of hesitation. Her increasing need for dominance becoming more and more apparent with every stoke of her tongue, and subtle movement of her hips. My hands giving up on her pants as they travel over her tensed stomach, the curve of her hips to the small of her back. The desire-the need to feel more of her becoming more and more incontrollable.
I feel my eyes open, hands flying to her face as I feel this newly familiar feeling. My body surging alive further than I thought possible, only this time my desire becoming far more prominent than anything I've ever known. Anything I've ever felt. It's like I'm on fire, all I can think of is her.
"Oh my god!" I turn my head away, closing my eyes. "I'm so sorry. I-I don't know what that was."
"That, my dear doctor," Her finger on my jaw, guiding me to look back at her. "Is called sucking chi." Her eyes are that piercing blue that I've always loved. Her smile growing wider as she stares intently.
"What is it?" I can't help but ask confused as to why she's looking at me that way.
"Your eyes," Her thumb brushing against my cheek. "They look like mine." A soft chuckle escaping her. "My god Lauren, you look so beautiful." She steals a quick soft kiss, nibbling my lower lip. "Once again, you've taken my breath away." She slowly leans forward and kisses my right eye softly. "I don't care if you're human," Then my right one. "Or fae," She kisses my nose. "Or an alien for that matter". A soft giggle and a kiss to my lips. "I will always love you no matter what. You have my heart, Lauren Lewis."
"And you have mine, Bo Dennis." Tears manage to escape my eyes and I can't help it. I can't believe how much I love this woman. And even though I had never been afraid when we used to make love because I fully trusted her, I know she has always been afraid of hurting me. But now, for the very first time, she can be with me without any fear. "Do you um-" Quick peck on her lips. "I know you've never really uh-" I look down, somewhat scared of her answer. "From me I mean." I finally manage to look up and I can see her smile fading.
"I want to, but what if I hurt you?" It's her turn to look down but I don't let her. There was nothing to be scared or embarrassed of and I want her to know that.
"Bo it's okay, nothing bad will happen. Just try it." Pleading eyes meeting scared ones. If she would just try it so she could see there's nothing to fear anymore. "For the first time since we met you don't have to hold back with me, I want to give you all that I am and I want all of you."
She gives me a slight nod as she pulls back just a little. And then-my life changes. All I can see is the flow of chi going from me to her, but I don't feel it weakening me, quite the opposite, it's revitalizing, it's-I can't even form a proper thought at the moment. All I can do is focus on these piercing blue eyes looking back at me, focus on the woman I love, whom I've never felt closer to. The connection I'm feeling-I can't even explain it. I can feel all she is, it's like I can touch her soul and she can touch mine and during this moment, we're one. Before I know it, it stops and it takes me a moment to actually be able to recover from my high.
"Oh my-oh my god, Lau-Lauren that was-holy shit." She's panting now, so am I and I can't help but smirk proudly. I had always managed to get this reaction from her after making love but I had barely touched her just now. This was going to be very interesting indeed.
"I-I know, I can barely-speak. That was-wow. That's about all I can say at the moment. Is it always like this when you feed?" Anxiously, I wait for her answer. I don't know how I would feel if this is the way she feels with everyone she feeds from. This was so intimate, so personal.
"No, not at all. I mean-I could always feel a rush of energy yes, but-oh my god, nothing like what just happened, that was-" I can see her actually struggling to come up with the right word, it's so adorable. "I think we need to come up with a new word for it because mindblowing doesn't even begin to cover it." She laughs and I can't help but laugh with her, big smile on both our faces, we had never been able to be so carefree before. "Are you okay?" Her laugh immediately replaced by a concerned look, she could always go back to being worried about me in a matter of seconds.
"Well-define okay." Getting a raised eyebrow as a reaction, I gently kiss her lips. "Yes Bo I'm okay. I'm perfect, I had never felt this close to you." Placing my hand on her heart, I can feel her heartbeat, it's still racing and I know mine is too. Look at us, we're like a couple of teenagers. "I could feel all of you. Are you okay?" My own concerned look making an appearance.
"Are you asking as my girlfriend or as my doctor?" She asks playfully, my god what this woman does to me.
"Hmm-I'm asking as your sexy doctor girlfriend." A playful kiss and bite to her neck, which is received with a soft moan. "Do I need to do an inspection?" Another kiss and bite, a little harder this time.
"Well doctor, I do have this symptom at the moment." Pulling back to look at her, I can see her eyes turning blue again, and somehow I know mine are too at this point, I can feel it. "I'm so," She takes my hand and guides it down her stomach. "Very," A little lower, passed the hem of her shirt. All I can think of is thank god I had already worked her zipper earlier because right now I can't wait to reach my destination. "Wet." No panties, of course she wasn't wearing any panties.
"Fuck Bo." That's all I can let out once I feel how wet she is for me, the heat between my own legs driving me even crazier. She had always had this effect of me but this time it was like all of that had exploded and now it was 100 times more intense. "Well, being a doctor and all, I'm sure I can do something about that." This was going to be fun.
"I'm absolutely sure you can." She moans out, fingertips teasing the wetness between her lips.
"I don't know how you can control this." My words a moan of my own as I kiss along her collarbone.
"It takes a lot of practice."
"Well it's lucky I have a good teacher at my dispense."
"I'd say more at your command." Her laugh silenced by a moan of protest as I pull my hand away. "Wh-."
"Shh." I hush her.
Hands making quick work of her shirt-and then her bra. Call it new strength or a rush of adrenaline, but I flip us with unexpected ease. Hands grabbing her pants by the waist and pulling them down and off in one fluid motion. Smile on my lips as I think of all the times our positions were reversed. Just as quickly I discard my own clothes, my once neat pile now a mess across the floor.
She was always like gravity to me, pulling me in with every look, every word, and every breath taken. This though, was something so different. This pull was beyond gravity-beyond anything words could ever describe.
I find myself falling atop of her, and we fit effortlessly. Legs intertwined with such ease, with such synchronicity that the room fills with joined moans. Rhythmic movements blissful, yet strangely not enough at this moment. Nothing seems to be enough at this moment. I need her-in every single way possible.
I need her like I need to breathe.
Every movement earning a moan, hungry lips finding every inch of skin possible, but it's not enough. My lips devour their way back up her throat, her neck, up her jaw line to her lips. Hungry kiss after hungry kiss until the inconvenient need for air is surprisingly not a factor.
My eyes open as I hold her tightly against me, finding beautiful, piercing blue eyes staring into mine. They were always beautiful, but now-there was something more there. An appreciation and attraction I can't begin to describe.
A running theme it would seem.
I feel her slowly begin to feed, it's an unmistakable rush. She does just enough to pull my new side forward, she knows me better than I know myself in general-this wouldn't be any different. I can't describe or understand how I do it, but I find myself responding.
Moan after moan, movement after movement we do this little waltz. She feeds and then I feed, we continue until there's nothing existing in the world but us. Each time a little more and a little more after that-then the most interesting thing happens. Our dance becomes much less of a waltz and more of a tango. She feeds from me just a bit more than she had pervious times, but instead of waiting for her to finish-I join in.
She digs her nails into my back, and I can see in her eyes she contemplates stopping. Contemplates falling on the side of caution. The way I push my hips further down against her, and give into my natural instinct, further taking in more chi-she wavers away from caution.
Just as everything else about us falls into sync-this is no different.
Hungry kisses never faltering as we exchange chi with such familiarity, with such synchronicity that it's not my chi to her, or hers to me, but one strong indecipherable stream that is no longer just hers, or just mine-it's ours.
Hours go by as we get lost in a night of passionate love, lost in this new adventure we were starting, lost in our love that had never been stronger. Lost in the faith that everything was going to be okay, that we were going to be okay. Lost in each other. Like I said, everything else was tomorrow's problem.
As we lie down, exhausted but happy, facing each other, all we can do is smile, exchanging soft laughs and loving caresses, never getting enough of each other. This had been like our very first time, because of how different it was, how new it had been for us.
Words right now weren't necessary, just by looking at each other we knew, we knew we could do this. We could make this work, make us work. And even though what I did would eventually have consequences, we would face them together, stronger than ever before. That's how much we could say with just a look, a smile, a soft stroke on her cheek, a quick kiss on the palm of her hand, her arm, her shoulder, her jaw, her lips. Still trying to convince myself that the woman in front of me was mine and I was hers and for now that's all we needed to know.
If there was something certain, it was that life as we knew it was over. As we fall asleep we can't help but smile, looking forward to our forever, because yes, now we could finally have a forever.