Miles almost crumbled, hearing that voice once more. Even if it was just a prompt, telling him to leave a message, it was still Tristan. And fuck, he had lost a part of himself when he let Tristan just walk out of his life. The part in the back of his mind, prompting him not to do this or that, or telling him the right thing to do, and the bright smile he always saw on his face only to have it all crumble to bits and pieces, leaving him with nothing but the bitter ashes he had to create. He refused to take that smile away, to let Tristan see him fall. If he could find it with someone else, so fucking be it. Miles didn't deserve him, he never did. His inaudible sniffs, only censored by the back of his hand were beginning to slowly seep through. Miles had wanted to shield Tristan from what he was, who he was, to protect him, to save him. The fact that he was even calling just showed how selfish he really fucking was. He couldn't even let him go for his own good.
"Tristan." Miles breathed deeply. It was only about 15 seconds of his goofy, giggly voice telling him to leave a message, but it felt like an eternity. "I know I'm the last person you want to hear from right now, but please. Just hear me out. Apologizing isn't going to get me anywhere, and I'm not asking for a second chance. Hell, I'm not asking for you to even talk to me. It wasn't Maya. I let you think that because..." Miles sniffed, unable to keep his mask up any longer. "Because I loved you too much to tell you the truth. It's my dad. He hurts people, he hurts everyone around him and he never gives a fucking shit about it because he's a stubborn bastard who will stop at nothing, not even the physical abuse of his children, to get what he wants. I just wanted you to know the truth. I never meant to hurt you. You were beside me the whole damn time and all I did was push you away." His voice was shaky at this point. His entire body was cracking, standing up straight was proving to be a challenge. "I couldn't let you help me because I wanted you to be happy. I still want you to be happy, but with someone who actually deserves you. I love you. And as much as I say I want you to forget that, I don't."
He hung up after he was sure the message was sent. He lingered for just a moment, scanning his room for anything important. He slung his heavy dufflebag over his shoulder, wiping away his tears. He sighed deeply, shoving a silver lighter that was shining on the nightstand into the front pocket.
um: please call it where it's at and I am evil. I just... I had to pick myself up after writing this and take a walk. In the pouring rain, really it's a thunderstorm. I hit myself in the feels. I mean, I'm finally dishing out the hell that is Triles torture uvu I hope no one wants to murder me for this one.