Chapter 1: Stacie-Anne

My life might not be perfect, but does everyone have to know? No, that's the answer to my question. No on outside of their houses are who they are at home. I am the perfect example. One out lash at home gets me a slap across the face. Where an out lash at school gets me, well, nothing. La Puente High School. It's not the closest or best school where I live but it's ten times better then going to a boarding school. My step-dad, David, told mi'ama to send be away and get a better education; when all he wanted to do was get rid of me. Not happening idiota. High School. Let's just say, it wouldn't be running without me. Being captain of volleyball team and president of senior class probably has something to do with it.

Mama has me strive to be the best I can be. Gave me everything she worked for, when really I just wanted to be cared and loved. Familia is what I want. Until David came along, it was mama and I, living together and it was great. Now, they have a daughter together and going on their fourth year of marriage. Que bueno no? For them yes, me, I still feel like I'm missing a part of my life, well being, and soul.

"STACIE-ANNE SELENA IIBARRA! Get down here and before you leave for school. Don't give me excuses, I'm not going to listen to you."

Mama never did call me Stacia, well not since pap left us when I was ten. He told me he'd come back and take me to the zoo but I eventually gave up on that dream. He was a handsome Latino; well I know he is half-white and half-Mexican, where else did he get his blue eyes. However, back when his parents hitched, it was forbidden for Latinos and whites to have anything go on between them. Nothing ever did stop my grandparents. Mama always says I look like my father. I have his bright, blue eyes that portray that of an ocean, with specks of brown reminding me of the sand. I have his jet, black hair, too. Reminds me a horses tail, long and strong. Also resembles me in a way; I've been trough a lot of struggle since I was born, and have never let it break me. My skin color isn't that of my fathers, I get that from mi'ama; gorgeous, silk like texture, with the coloring of sun-kissed white. Mi'ama is half and half just like papa, pero, she defies being Mexican. I never understood why but I guess I never took the time to ask either. She will never forgive him for leaving but I know I can, only because he left for a reason.

"STACIA SELENA IIBARRA, get your ass down here, or I'll send el Diablo up there to knock you upside that little head of yours. You know better to disrespect me like this!"

" Si, mama pero, I was trying to fix my shirt, I have a reason for stalling." I say lying through my teeth. She used Stacia, not well at all. I learned times before; she only calls me Stacia, my real name, when she is pissed at the world.

"Pero? No Stacia, I hate excuses and you stalling me. OYE?" Mi'ama bellows as she pulls my hair. I don't do anything with it anymore because my mom seems to resort to hair pulling now. It's better then going to school with a fat lip everyday. Stalling her? Is she kidding me? She doesn't do shit around the house anyways. And doesn't have work until 10, which according to my watch, is three hours from now.

She lessened her grip so I could look up at her when I respond, the smell of alcohol coming from her mouth. She was worse in the morning when she was either hung-over or drunk. With me luck, she's been like this for as long as I can remember. If only David could see her like this, she always puts a show on for him. Naive and oblivious to it all, David doesn't see through her façade. Which is sad, but I'm not about to ruin what they have. Even if it is all a lie. He leaves in the early morning and comes back before she gets home from work, so he has a way of detouring it all. Rebecca, well she doesn't go to school so she sleeps through this all. It's a miracle to do so, considering my mom has a voca the size of an elephants. I only pray Becky won't have to go through this when she is older. No child should.

"Si mama. I hear you. No soy idiota. Can I go now, it's my first day."

With a huff, mi'ama let me go and turned into the kitchen. Sometimes I wish she would just let me be. Leave me alone and let me live. She already had my name legally changed to Stacie-Anne, what more is there to change? Clearly being white means more then anything to her. When all I want to be is I! Be able to say: Yoy soy Stacia Selena Iibarra and am proud to be half Mexican and white! But unfortunately, I know to well, dreams can easily be demolished.