"We can't just take off and get married!" Luke explained to his pleading fiancée.
"Why not Luke? Don't you love me? Do you care about me?"
"Yes!"
"Because I'm going crazy here. I made a commitment to you, and I need to make it happen. For months now, I've been skulking around not saying anything, not having an opinion, like I'm Clarence Thomas or something, and I… I'm done with that. I-I've been waiting for a long time, and I don't want to wait anymore."
"I have to think this through." People in the street began to turn to stare at the arguing couple.
"No! I'm not waiting, it's now or never."
"I don't like ultimatums!"
"Well I don't like Mondays but unfortunately they come around eventually."
"I can't just jump like this."
"Well I'm sorry to hear that. I-I have to go." Her heels clicked as Lorelai stalked off down the street.
Light hit the backs of her eyelids and Lorelai blinked her eyes open. The sheets felt strangely soft around her. As she glanced around, the room was unfamiliar. Soft pounding of a child's feet ran down the hall. Finally Lorelai remembered the previous night. Breaking up with Luke, drinking, sleeping with Christopher. She pulled her dress on and ran out of the room.
"Lor, I didn't know that you were up I…."
"I have to go Chris." Lorelai slammed the door shut behind her and sank down onto the carpet of the hallway.
"Mom I'm home!" Rory called as she entered her house. There was no answer from within. "Mom?!" Rory dropped her bags and ran up the stairs. "Mom, make a noise. For a second I thought I'd walked into Billy Hughes' house." She entered the bedroom to see magazines, DVDs, books, and snacks strewn all over the room. In the center of the mess, her mother was seated in sweats eating Red Vines.
"Hello daughter of mine!" Lorelai didn't get up, merely smiled at Rory.
"When was the last time you left your room?" Rory sat down beside Lorelai.
"Yesterday, I went to the inn."
"Yes, but I mean when you're not at work, or babysitting for Sookie. Other than that when did you last leave this room?" Rory attempted to pick up a few things.
"You got me." Lorelai shrugged.
"Mom, that guy from CSI gets out more."
"The bug guy."
"No."
"The computer guy."
"No. Mo…"
"Oh the dead guy! You mean that a dead guy moves around more than I do."
"No!"
"Well other than the two that don't really have distinguishing features, I don't know any others. Which were you talking about."
"The morgue guy."
"The morgue guy. What the hell kind of metaphor is that?"
"Mom…"
"I mean at least the dead guy doesn't move much."
"Mom it's been three weeks since you broke up with Luke and you slept with dad and what do you have to show for it besides fifty pounds of candy wrappers, three week old US weekly, and some of the saddest DVD's known to man."
"These are not the saddest movies ever."
"John Q, An Affair to Remember, these aren't exactly upper movies."
"Hey I've got The Lion King in there too."
"His dad dies, that doesn't count."
"But there's singing and talking animals. It can't be a sad movie with singing and talking animals."
"Mom! Other than these movies what do you have to show?"
"A tee- shirt that says 'I broke up with my fiancée and slept with the father of my only daughter all in one night and all I got was this stupid tee- shirt," Lorelai joked.
"Wow that is a lot of font for a small tee-shirt."
"Ah but you see that's the purpose of the fifty pounds of candy wrappers, create a bigger canvas."
"Very practical of you." The two sat in silence for a moment. "Mom," Rory reasoned.
"Kid, I'm going to be ok."
"You've been in bed for three weeks."
"Partially because of my sucky love life, but also partially because of my sucky immune system."
"You're sick?" Rory pressed her hand to her mother's forehead.
"Yeah I've been throwing up for a while now, though it could be the candy and lack of moving out of this room and oh my gosh!"
"What?"
"I just got the morgue guy metaphor. Because he has two fake legs right?"
"I can't stump you mom."
"I am the champion, no time for looosers," Lorelai began to sing. Rory stood up from the bed and picked up a few things. Candy wrappers and apple cores soared into the trash bag.
"Ok I'm going to go grab a shower and when I get out I want this place cleaned."
"Who do you think I am, Snow White?"
"I'll bring up the poison apple when I'm done." Rory left the room. "Oh and get dressed, we're hitting a movie!" Rory called from the stairs. Lorelai rolled her eyes and flung herself back on her bed.
"What the hell was that?!" Lorelai asked of her daughter as they walked away from the car.
"That was a movie. I know it's been a long time since you've been out of the house but…"
"No I know what a movie is. And I know that that was a terrible movie."
"Oh come on it wasn't that bad."
"George Clooney, Brad Pitt seems like a good combo. I mean it worked with the Ocean's. And then you add in the aspect of the CIA and it seems like it'll be a good time. But no an hour and a half of terrible jokes and Brad Pitt with a double digit IQ, all ending with that woman finally getting her surgery."
"Ok I'm sorry suggested it." The two walked by Luke's diner. "You ok?" Rory noted her mother's misty eyes.
"What? Yeah I'm great, I'm just so damn happy that that lady finally got her surgeries."
"You miss him don't you?"
"Yeah I do kid." Lorelai threw her arm around her daughter's shoulders.
"Well It's only been three weeks. And the throwing up couldn't have helped and you really love him."
"Can we pick a new topic?"
"Sure, what do you want to talk about? The terrible turn that the youth of America has taken, politics…"
"We could just go home and not talk."
"Well we can not talk, but we have one more stop to make."
"Where?"
"It's a surprise. Something that needs to be done."
"Oh come on you know I hate surprises." Rory walked a few paces ahead, ignoring her mother's pleas for information.
"Here we are." Lorelai looked up at the building that Rory was standing in front of.
"Doose's? Ok you are officially not in charge of my next surprise party because you really suck at the whole surprise thing."
"There's something we need to take care of."
"How thoughtful of you, I was running a little low on toothpaste." Rory led her mother into the store.