The Knapford Theater was a tall building, about as tall as Buckingham Palace. It had also seen better days. The red seats, once as soft as the velvet they were made on, now had chunks missing and areas where the material had become much harder and colder. The red had run from those seats, making them look brown and faded. The stage was relatively well kept, save for certain sections of it that appeared to have been sellotaped and marked 'Do Not Stand Here, Ever' on them. The curtains were torn and rather roughly patched up, the fire escape didn't work properly and the lights needed a hour to come on to the full effect.

Unfortunately for the people sitting there, this was the only theater that they could reach without having to rent a taxi or find a car that actually worked. So there they were, sitting down in a attempt to find some form of comfort. Nearly everyone wore the black trousers with the Knapford logo on them, mainly because that was the only way the guards would let them in.

The doors to the actual theater were closed by a woman wearing a yellow dress and with bright blonde hair. "I think that's everyone, Edward!"

"Thanks Molly!" Edward, a tall man dressed entirely in blue, sat down on the edge of the stage. "All right, morning everyone!"

A dull chorus of "Mornings." and "Hiya's" and "Whatever's" filled the air.

"Glad to see you're in such fine spirits." deadpanned Edward. He looked down at his tick-sheet. "All right then. Now, respond if you're here. Thomas?"

"Here!" called a shorter man. He wore a blue T-Shirt with the words 'Number 1 and Proud', and the way his trousers were pulled up seemed to give off the impression that he was trying to be cool.

"Henry, Gordon, James."

"Here Eddie!"

"Don't call me that."

The three men at the stage laughed. Henry was a thickset man wearing a green jacket, currently holding a tissue to his nose in case some of his allergies came up, which was quite frequent since Henry appeared to be allergic to everything. James, currently preening to a very bored looking camera man dressed in a dark musty red, was practically glittering with red sequins adorning his T-Shirt. And in the middle, Gordon, big and proud of it, finished drinking the latest of his energy drinks, taking care to wipe away any of the stray drops that had fallen on his blue shirt.

Edward sighed. "Dear god." He muttered something under his breath that was definitely not child friendly, and glanced around. "Percy?"

"Here! I think!" Percy, a even smaller man that Thomas, frowned in a thoughtful way. "Am I here, are any of us...really here?"

"Has he taken his medicine!?"

"Och! We tried laddie!" said one of two figures dressed entirely in black. They resembled gangsters, if said gangsters had no mirror and therefore no way to tell if their faces looked as threatening as their clothes. "But the wee man got the slip of us!"

"Oh great, thanks Donald!"

"I'm Douglas! He's Donald!" Douglas pointed to his twin.

"Hey, this is going to take forever!" shouted up one of the people in the orchestra pit, dressed from head to toe in a orange boiler suit. "We're not going to have a play to preform today if you go on the way you're going!"

"Murdoch!" snapped Edward. "We have to do things a certain way! This way, everyone-" He stopped. "Oh to hell with it." He raised his voice. "Does anyone here know if there's anyone off!"

Silence for a moment.

"Pretty sure that Belle and Flynn aren't going to make it til the show." called out a Scottish woman wearing a dark green coat, as it was rather cold in the part she was sitting in.

"Oh great. The one time we could actually use their help and they're nowhere to be found!" Edward sighed. "Thanks Emily. Anyone else? I can't see the Skarloey crew anywhere."

"Zey're off at ze mines." helpfully piped up a french teenager with a dark blue jacket and red trousers.

"But there are no mines!"

"Zat's why zey're there. Getting laid off!"

"Oh dear god." Montague, dressed in safety officer green, facepalmed. "On the plus side, the mine won't be collapsing any time soon."

There was a rumble.

"What was that?" asked Donald.

"Earthquake in China?" suggested Molly.

"No, I actually think that was the mine...collapsing." Oliver, Montague's partner in all things safety inspecting, glanced over to him. "Any time soon meaning right this moment?"

"Hey! It's not my fault they were using gunpowder to try and get that slate! Owen and that sleepy git Merrick should have been focusing more!" Duck rolled his eyes. "Besides, I'm not the only one in this town supposed to be checking how safe these things are!"

"AHEM!" Everyone turned to look at Edward. "We can assign blame later. Now, anyone else...no? Then let's start! Uh, couple of announcements first. I'd like to say that the dressing room for the men needs to be reconstructed somewhat, so for the moment, you should dress in the wings."

"How did it break?" called out a girl dressed entirely in pink.

"Well Rosie, it's a long and funny story. To cut it short, someone threw a party last night." Edward glared at James. "He knows who he is."

"It was Arthur!" James pointed at his cameraman, who looked in annoyance at the sequin sucker.

"Okay, okay, let's not get carried away. Second of all...costumes. Daisy apologizes for the lateness, but apparently she had some personal stuff to do." Edward paused to let the gossiping murmurs die down. "Yes, obviously we wish her the best-"

"We do?" Percy asked loudly. Thomas elbowed him in the side.

"Oh, let's see...uh, one last quick note, I've been instructed to inform you that Greasy Scruff's Burger Van will not be providing our sustenance for the next couple of days, because it exploded in mysterious and unexplained circumstances."

Everyone paused, and then turned to look at a pair of sandy haired youngsters.

"Eh, why you lookin at us? Ben, I think they think we did it!"

"The nerve Bill!"

"Timothy, keep them under your eye." A man in a dark blue pinstriped suit saluted. "Right, and last but by no means least, we have a new arrival here! He was supposed to be joining the Tidmouth Minstrels, but his papers got mixed up and so, rather than fix that issue, we have ourselves a new intern!"

"So who did we lose?"

"Hector."

"No loss." Henry muttered.

"So, please give a very big warm welcome to...Ryan!"

Ryan, short, and wearing a purple shirt with the words 'Disposable' on it, walked out awkwardly. Very few people did anything. "Uh...hi?"

"Morning Ryan!" said Edward, his chipperness refusing to be destroyed by the lack of enthusiasm. "Sorry to drop you in at the deep end, but-"

"Hang on, is that why we're all wearing name tags!?" called out Montague.

Edward repressed a eye roll. "Yes Ducky! We're wearing name tags to help the newbie, because do you realize how many of us there are!?"

"I'M NOT DUCKY." screamed Duck. "That was a terrible nickname in high school and it's even worse here."

"Well tough, Mr Duck." said a old man hobbling out on a cane. "They call me Toad, and trust me, it sticks." He turned. "A letter from your brother, Mr Oliver."

"Thank you Toad." Oliver placed it in his pocket. "I'll ignore it later." Toad rolled his eyes and walked off.

"Now, Ryan, your jobs are pretty basic. Someone gives you a shout, help them out with whatever it is. Now, do you have any questions?"

"A couple." Ryan shrugged. "The agency didn't say much when I got here." He looked around. "What play are you doing?"

"Peter Pan! I'll get you a copy of the script later." Edward leaned back. "I wanted to do Snow White personally. But then I got vetoed." He glared at James, who stuck his tongue out. "Any other questions?"

"...How long do I have to stay for?"

"He wants to get out already." Emily laughed. "Smart man!"

"Basically, it's from 9:00 til 6:00. That okay?" Ryan nodded. "Good, any more questions?" He shook his head. "Good, all right, I'll be here if you need any help." Edward turned to the cast. "All right lads!" He got to his feet. "Let's do this-"

The floor gave way from under him and he fell through.

There was a pause, and then everyone leaned in. Edward's voice calmly rose up. "Can someone get Jack to check the boards again?"

Ryan frowned. He had clearly let himself in for something odd.