AN: A Doctorate Schmoctorate Pairing, AKA Tannis and Zed. Doctorate Schmoctorate is from the mind of Dahlicious, who can be found on tumblr. I just like the name. Any way, this came about after looking at Borderlands fanfics on here and AO3, reading posts on Borderlands Confessions, and finally getting fed up enough with the lack of stories for this pairing enough that I decided to try to fix that.

...I then remembered I was actually already trying to do that, and had hit my rather common problem of "I have ideas but can't get beyond a general outline of what I want". The problem was made worse by the fact I... haven't played the games. I just kind of fell in love with the series based on things made by fans who did.

...so I just started writing about what sex is like for them. Which, given I've only ever tried something like this twice before and hated both, is actually a big deal for me. I'm gonna say what resulted is perfect, but I'm happier than I was with the others.

Oddly, despite the fact I identify with Tannis more, this is focused on Zed.

More notes at the end.

I own nothing but the fic itself. Zed, Tannis and Borderlands are Gearbox's.

EDIT 4/27/2015: Realized I had no lines dividing sections for this chapter and the third one. wouldn't let me do what I usually do, so I got creative.

Chapter 1

Zed figures out pretty quick that sex with Patricia Tannis is a learning experience. A very sexy and fun one, with equally fun and sexy tests.

Technically, the first time was more like a pop quiz consisting of two questions. Is Dr. Patricia Tannis a virgin, and is Dr. Zed qualified enough to give her a good first time?

Turned out the answer to both was yes. The last one was a very mutually satisfying yes.

It's about when the second time starts that he figures he should pay attention to what she likes so there can be even more times.

He learns pretty quickly that she really likes kissing. Kissing is good for foreplay. And during sex. And after sex. And for no reason than one of them just feels like kissing. And for when one of them decides to combat any annoyances by teasing the other by coming close to them but not actually touching or touches them in a way that's almost inappropriate to make it clear that they'll pay for it later. And for giving the other an incentive to finish whatever they're doing either now or later quickly, for obvious reasons.

He learns that she likes to be touched. That one's technically obvious because they're having sex, but it's the way she trembles when he does, the way she moves to give him better access. The fact she tries to get as much of her clothing off as possible without moving away from him and presses herself as close as she can. And those teasing almost touches or almost inappropriate touches during the day that say "I'm doing this because you're getting on my nerves and we both know I won't actually do anything else until later tonight". Almost touches work during foreplay and sex too. One of his favorites is the way she'll move when one of his hands is teasing her with almost touches, squirming to get him inside, and then the way she'll move when his fingers are giving pleasure inside the place had previously only ever been touched by her own before him.

Holding technically goes with touching, but not really at the same time. It was more than just holding herself close to him. She often holds the back of his head when they make out. Or when he's kissing her neck once her choker is off. Or when he's giving her breasts the attention they deserve and making sure to given the same treatment to each. And especially when his head is between her legs and his tongue is inside of her. She'll hold him there while he drinks her essence and then hold him even closer while she spasms as if to reward him or pull him up and away because she needs him inside of her. And of course, especially when he's deep inside her. It's like she's trying to make sure he doesn't leave.

He learns all about the noises she makes. Sometimes she's talking; not actual dirty talk or anything, and the one time she actually tried sorta killed the mood because it sounded so weird and he had to kiss her to make her stop and ask her never to do that again. No, Zed likes to call what Patricia does "erotic talk", when she's begging him to touch her or keep touching her, with "please" or "don't stop" and the like, begging for more, and when he's inside and moving she'll say all that too. Or when she tells him just how good he makes her feel. His personal favorite is his name, because it just sounds so good coming from her lips. Sometimes, she just makes noises, moans and breathy little sounds that are music to him.

Of course, the foreplay isn't one sided. Zed's more than happy to let her explore and figure out what he likes and then put all that into practice. But he learns some stuff then, too. Like when she's got her lips on his ears and she gently bites, the fact that the only other guy who's had that privilege had it torn off with her teeth is actually a turn on for him. He learns how nice it feels to have her hands moving up and down his chest before finally just moving down. The first time that happened she stopped, so close and yet so far, which at the time probably should have clued him into the whole "virgin" thing but all he could think of was stopping her from having second thoughts so he reached down and placed her hands on him. When her hesitant touches slowly became more confident might have clued him in if not for the fact that he's too focused on the sensation to think beyond a decision to use his own fingers to return the favor.

Later, he teaches her just how he likes to be touched, and now sometimes she'll tease him by placing one or both of her hands close just like she did then and not move them until he reaches down and moves her himself and holds her there. He learns that all he needs to do then is beg though he still does not let go until her hand starts moving.

And god, but one of the hottest things to ever happen in this relationship of theirs (actually, that's a lie, he can't just pick one hottest thing) occurred after one of many times he had pleasured her with his tongue until she came undone. Once she had enough of her breath back, she asked him if he'd like her to reciprocate. He learns just how nice that looks and feels. Even now, she'll often say that, though no longer hesitantly, and he still thinks it's hot.

His favorite thing that he's learned is during the actual sex. Unless she's not in a position to do so, she'll wrap her legs and hook them behind his back. God damn, does that feel good. And if they aren't facing the right way she likes it when he's got at least one arm wrapped around her waist, because her hands will cling to it and hold it there. And she likes when he tells her just how good she feels as he moves in her, even if he's just repeating words when he does.

There's a lot more he's figured out with that. And while they're all favorites, the biggest one is one they both really like.

It's when her legs are around him and she's got her arms around him and he's got his around her and they're moving together and that pleasurable pressure just keeps building. It's how they did it the very first time, and it has yet to stop being just as good.

End Chapter 1

AN2: Got to the end? Great. I will accept comments and creative critiques on this. Like I said before, I'm content with this, but my inner critic always thinks my work can be approved and thinks more can be done. Most of the time at least. And now, I have an announcement.

[sign appears that reads: THIS IS IMPORTANT]

See, this isn't all you're getting. I'll be uploading a second part on Valentine's Day. I'm actually done with it, but I figure anyone who likes this pairing deserves a treat.

I'm actually rather proud of myself with it, so I hope the wait will prove to be worth it.

It might be obvious, but it's about Zed and Patricia's first time. And if any of you were paying attention, it's also her first time.

And let me put it this way. Think of this chapter as foreplay. The next one will be what comes after.

I do hope that intrigues you, dear reader.

NEW NOTE: Okay, after seeing just how popular this is, I've decided to write a third chapter, so on Feb 14th, you guys get a double update.