LIFE
Chapter One
This is a challenge. The most difficult task I will have to face; in fact I face it every day. As soon as I hear the obnoxious buzzing that has crushed my dreams, I will know it is time...time to wake up.
BUZZBUZZBUZZBUZZBUZZBUZZ. My alarm clock went off with its usual unfriendly reminder that the phrase "Carpe Diem" needed to be put into effect. I rubbed my eyes of the gifts that Mr. Sandman left me and dragged myself to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror after my beauty rest was frightening. Why do they call it beauty rest if I wake up looking like a troll?
Slowly, yet surely, I began my morning routine. Step one: Take a piss, only if needed, which 1 in 100 times it won't be. Step two: Receive toothbrush, put toothpaste on said toothbrush, and…well, that one was obvious. Step three: wash face. Normally needed, for that extra kick to wake up. I use a special face wash that has these little, tiny beads in it that are supposed to help release these chemicals to brighten the face…or some shit like that, I dunno. I kinda just go with the flow.
Today's routine was intrically interrupted by my ten year old brother, Zach. What a charming young fellow he is. He banged on the door and screamed, "Rachelle! Rachelle! You really do smell! Rachelle! Rachelle! You should go to hell!" As he walksaway laughing to himself, I can't help but think, "What the hell are these kids learning nowadays?" It must be a plague…
Downstairs I have now ventured to see what my retainable mother has decided to take out of the garbage this morning for breakfast. I'm kidding…she doesn't really do that, but whatever she makes is organic or some shit like that, so it naturally tastes like waste! I made a funny there.
"Good morning my darlings!" Mom always insited like playing 50s housewife with the perfect kids, but to her disappoint, my brother and myself are far from it. I've got a billion tattoos and Zack has a mouth like a dirty sink, probably learned from our father.
"Hey, Mom," I say with utter dimise.