I can't believe it was all a lie. My love for you Edward. All lies. I can't believe you'd do something like this. Fix my heart, make me feel whole then go ahead and tell me all my love for you was fake. That it was a Jasper induced dream, nightmare even. I can't believe he would put me through hell only to go and tell me that it was all for nothing. I can't believe that I don't actually love him.
I remember his tear streaked face when Jasper let it slip that I didn't love him, that it was all my emotions being manipulated and toyed with by a fellow vampire. I couldn't believe how many times I'd put my life in danger for this so called love, only to figure out it was all fake. I'd nearly died multiple times so I should of realised that this love was false feelings, I should've split up with him before he became to attached, like a parasite gripping on to its victim and sucking the life out of it. I look towards Carlisle and Esme as I start sobbing, looking for much needed support as I bawl my eyes out. I notice that Emmett opens his arms for a hug and I fall into them, grateful that at least the rest of the Cullens still respect and love me. Emmett wraps me up tight in his massive, muscular arms and it's comforting. I see over his huge shoulder Carlisle, Esme and the rest of the family are gazing at me worriedly waiting for me to break, like I am a delicate petal on a beautiful dying rose just waiting to fall on the ground. There is only one person that could console me, fix all the broken pieces of my heart, heal me. Jacob.
I push Emmett away with all my might and thankfully he realised that I no longer wanted him to attempt to console me, so he sets me free from the bear hug. Carlisle still looks worried about me especially when I scream at him,
"STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE IM A WILD ANIMAL!" And sprint off into the Quilete's side of the forest, where the Cullen's aren't allowed due to the treaty. I think that if Esme could cry, the tears would be streaming down her face as I sprint off at top speed. I know that Edward wants to follow me, in a way I can sense it. All that time feeling that so called love must have made me adapt to his emotions. As if they were my own. The wind rushed through my hair as I made my way across the border. Salt laced tears ran down my cheeks and I couldn't take it any longer. The world around me crumbled and started to fade to a strange grey hue. My life for the past few years was no longer my rock to lean on, my entire support system had failed me.
"Bells?"
I look up and see a pair of warm familiar eyes staring down at me. There he was and I already felt a wave of relief rush over me. Rage burned in the embers of his brown eyes as he stared into my puffy, tear stained eyes.
"Wh-what happened?" He stuttered.
The lump in my throat grew. Time slowed down as he wrapped his arms around me, it made such a difference to feel the warmth of another being. My heart fluttered and I inhaled the sweet smell of his musk, nothing compared to it. It gave me a sense of hope, made me feel safe, at home. His heavy breathing calmed me and I matched the heaves of his best with my own. His hand cupped my chin and pulled me to face him, he stared into my eyes trying to workout what was going on. He did that silly thing where he cocked his head to the side and scrunched his eyebrows creating the crease that drives me crazy.
"Bella. What is wrong? Is it him, is it Edward?"
I clenched my fists at the mention of his name. His face contorted with anger and realisation. I gulped and began my recount of the past. As my story droned on the emotions on his face reflected how I felt in those situations. The pain, the anger, the sadness. I made eye contact with him and for the first time I felt a true spark in my heart. True love. In all my rage I didn't realise that our lips had connected and it felt like electricity was pulsing through my veins, replacing my blood that apparently smelt so good to the traitor that I used to call my lover. All of a sudden the only thing that mattered was him. I finally understood what he meant when we talked of love, how he would talk of true love. My eyes locked on his lips, they looked so luscious. He smiled at me noticing where my eyes were.
"C'mon bells I have something that will cheer you up."
My head perked up and I took his outstretched, warm hand and my mind raced back to that warm afternoon so long ago.
I was hopelessly devoted to Edward and nothing could have come between us. Jacob was with me and we walked along La Push, the warm air tasted sweet and intoxicated me with each inhale. Something felt right that day, it was a feeling I'd never felt before. Peace. Nothing was making me nervous, I had no impending doom above my head, everything felt right. His warm fingers laced around mine and the feeling of peace evaporated into the atmosphere. I spun to look at him, and he flinched. His eyes were sad and I wanted to hug him but something was preventing me from doing so. I turned and carried on walking listening to the sound of the birds chirping.
"Bella, you can't blame me for trying. I've gone through seasons with you and nothing's changed but the weather. When are you going to realise we're right? I know your not happy with him but you seem to be convinced you are. All I want is you to be happy and I want to say I'm okay without you and that as long as you're happy I am. But I can't. If I said it I wouldn't mean it. The only thing that keeps me going is the false hope that one day we'll work out and everything will be okay. But as time goes by that hope fades. Bells, I love you. I always have, and I will keep waiting for you."
I was back in the now, back in reality Jacob and me were on La Push again, the day was almost perfect. We walked in silence for a while, that sense of peace swept over me again and I felt flutters in my stomach. His warm fingers found their way to mine and I held on for dear life. This time nothing was stopping me from being with him. We carried on walking late into the evening until we sat and made a bonfire. The flames danced in his eyes and the burning embers brought out the most beautiful colours, I couldn't take my eyes off him. The little child behind those eyes was my favourite part of him. He acted mature around the others but when he was with me, the child inside him came out. He looked so content staring into the fire, nobody else mattered then, nobody but him.
"Bells?"
My head jerked up to see him staring at me.
"This afternoon when I took you here I held your hand. Unlike last time you actually let me. Bella, there's something I really want to do if you don't like it all you have to do is stop me. Close your eyes."
My heart lept into my throat. He was going to kiss me. I thought of Edward and how our course had run its end but then I thought of what he did to me. All my good memories with Jacob flooded my mind and I closed my eyes. Then, I was submerged in the icy cold water. I swam to the surface gasping for breath when Jacob wrapped his arms around my torso and held me there for a while. My body shook as we laughed and heartbeat sped up to match his, the pleasure of hearing another heartbeat so close to mine is indescribable.
We dried off by the bonfire. The sun set above us and the night continued. A tingling kept erupting in my pocket but with Jacob around ignoring the rest of the world was an easy task.
"Bella, your phone keeps buzzing. Aren't you going to check it?"
The colour rushed to my face as the realisation of what was tingling in my pocket hit me. The phone kept buzzing as a new message was received. I knew who they were from, I knew I had to open them.
'Bella, I'm sorry, where are you?'
Buzz.
'Bella answer me'
Buzz.
'Are you in trouble'
Buzz.
'Are you with Jacob'
Buzz.
'Tell me'
Buzz.
'If you're with him I won't be mad'
Buzz.
'Bella talk to me'
Buzz.
'If you don't come back to me soon someone is going to pay'
Buzz.
'I mean it'
Buzz.
'Fine, if I can't have you neither can Jacob'
Buzz.
'I hope you're happy with what you've done'
Buzz.
'Oh Bella'
Buzz.
'Come home'
Buzz.
'Charlie told me you should come home...'
Anxiety overwhelmed me as the thought of Edward harming Charlie came to mind. He had what he cared about taken away from him, he had hoped our love would be forever. Now to him the world is broken and all he can do is seek revenge upon the one who chose that their love should dissipate like snowflakes in an ocean.