Warning: This story contains serious themes such as depression, eating disorders, drug abuse, and self harm.
Ritsu Onodera didn't like to consider himself as an unstable person. He knew what he wanted and what he didn't want in life. He knew what would happen when he took all those pills. The only problem was that the situation didn't turn out how he'd planned, which was why he was still alive. It was also the reason he was being held against his will in a psychiatric hospital.
It wasn't exactly a horrible place. Maybe that was because he was in the adolescent ward, since he was only fifteen after all. He had his own bedroom, and he was allowed to have books to read. The food as okay, and the doctors and nurses were nice. But it wasn't what he wanted. He was supposed to be gone. He'd had everything planned so perfectly. A note to his mother and father, most of his possessions already packed and stored in the closet...everything had been so perfect.
He'd been here for two weeks now. He still had a long way to go. They hadn't given him a specific estimate on when he'd be out of here, but considering the fact that he still wanted to be dead, it would probably be awhile. It was impossible to fool those stupidly smart doctors.
"Onodera-kun, your mother is here to see you," Koharu, one of the nurses on duty today, told him from the doorway of his room. She was in her thirties and had bright red hair tied in a bun.
Ritsu at first tried to ignore her, holding his book higher in front of his face to block her from view. This happened several times a week. His mother would request to see him, and he would refuse to see her. He really just couldn't bear to look at her face. She probably just wanted to scold him, or she might be just disappointed in him.
"Honey, she told me she really wants to see you," Koharu tried again. "She says she has a present for you."
Finally fed up, he glared at her. "Tell mother that I said no thank you."
The nurse looked at him for a few seconds in silence before sighing. "Alright, I guess not today then. But I expect to see you out for dinner in twenty minutes young man. Okay?"
"Fine," Ritsu replied disdainfully.
When dinner time did roll around, he obediently left him room and emerged in the dining room. He went to sit next to his two "friends" Kisa Shouta and Chiaki Yoshino. They had both been here longer than he had.
Kisa was actually the oldest patient in the ward, despite looking like the youngest. He was a baby faced eighteen year old who refused to eat much more than a bite or two each day. He was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. Ritsu wondered why on earth he would be so determined to be skinny. He was already so small and good looking to begin with.
Chiaki didn't have an eating disorder, but he was still underweight. At the age of sixteen, he was severely depressed or something. Ritsu didn't know too much about his situation, but it was hard to miss the bandages always wrapped around his wrists, and the slowly healing scars that the others sometimes caught glimpses of.
"Ricchan!" Kisa greeted him cheerfully. "Do you want half of my sandwich?"
"Last time you 'shared' your food with me, we both got in trouble." Ritsu reminded him. "Besides, they're watching you right now."
Kisa turned his head in the direction that Ritsu was looking towards and paled. His doctor was looking at him with a frown. Kisa quickly brought his sandwich to his mouth and took a tiny nibble.
"This is a pretty good meal. I've always liked ham and cheese sandwiches," Chiaki spoke softly, taking a large bite of his own.
Ritsu looked down at his own sandwich. He really wasn't feeling too hungry, but it was better to eat. Not eating your meal here was frowned upon, even if you didn't have an eating disorder. It would only result in a longer stay and more counseling.
"Hey Chiaki, look who's watching you!" Kisa said with a snicker. All three boys turned around, and Chiaki gave a small yelp.
Hatori Yoshiyuki was in here for his addiction to narcotics. He'd been in withdrawal for sometime now, and the worst was over. Apparently he and Chiaki's families were friends, so they had sort of known each other.
"Do you think he wants me to go sit with him?" Chiaki wondered aloud. "I mean, he sort of looks lonely all by himself at that table. Does he look like he wants company? Maybe that's why he's looking at me?"
Ritsu was zoning out from Chiaki's words. He was instead focused on what was going on in the hallway. One of the orderlies was holding the arm of a tall teenage boy who did not look very happy. He was wearing a hospital gown, which meant he must be being transferred here from one of the upper floors. Another orderly followed them closely, holding a fresh pair of clothes and some bedsheets.
Much to his dismay, they were heading straight towards Ritsu's room! The brown haired youth quickly jumped up from his seat and headed over, but Koharu spotted him and caught his arm before he would make his way over.
"Onodera-kun, don't go in there right now." She warned him. "You know that you're obligated to share a room eventually. This boy doesn't need your attitude right now. I think once you get to know him you'll find out that you have a lot in common with him."
"But I like being alone!" Ritsu protested. "I need peace and quiet to read!"
"Who knows, maybe he likes to read," The red haired nurse nurse said, escorting Ritsu back to his seat. Her attention was turned over to Kisa. "Young man, don't think that you can get away with hiding your food in your napkin! Do you need to have a chat with Doctor Yoshida again?"
"But I already ate four bites! And I drank half my milk!"
Group therapy always took place straight after dinner three times a week. It was the worst part of the day, because you had to share your thoughts and feelings with everyone. Technically they couldn't force you to talk, but if you didn't talk then you didn't earn points. Points were important. They allowed Ritsu trips to the hospital library, and other rewards.
Doctor Nowaki did the group therapy. He was actually a pediatrician who worked on the upper floors of the hospital, but he came down here three times a week to hold the sessions for one hour. Ritsu actually liked him; he was always really cheerful and a genuinely caring guy.
Ritsu half wondered if the new kid would be attending therapy tonight, but decided against it. When he himself had first arrived it had taken a week for them to finally persuade him to attend, and that was only so he could have his books. Sure enough, when he took his seat in the circle, there was no sign of the new boy.
"How was everyone's dinner?" Nowaki asked.
"Good!" Chiaki said. Ritsu wondered how a kid who was seemingly so happy could in reality be so depressed.
"It was okay," Kisa said sulkily.
"I heard you got a point taken off your chart for attempting to hide your dinner. Would you like to talk about that?" Nowaki prompted.
"I ate more than I usually do at dinner! They wanted to boost me up to eating half of my plate rather than a third like normal! I can't do that!" Kisa defended himself. Nowaki wrote something down on a clipboard and then looked back up.
"Hatori-kun, what have you been up to today?" Nowaki asked.
"Nothing much. They really need more things to do here."
"I'll talk with them about that," Nowaki promised. "You've been doing really well, so maybe we can make some compromises."
Everyone nodded and muttered in enthusiasm. There was never much to do here. Arts and crafts, yard time, an occasional movie night, or reading. But those things became boring and repetitive.
"Onodera-kun," The doctor's blue eyes met his. Damn. "What about you? Did you finish your newest book yet?"
"Yes," He answered shortly. "And I'm also getting a roommate. Can't you talk to somebody and have him moved somewhere else?"
Naturally everyone perked up at this news.
"Sorry, but there's nothing I can do about it," Nowaki put his hands up. "But listen Onodera-kun, you'll have to get along with him. If you do, then it might just help in your own recovery process."
"I don't have anything to recover from," Ritsu muttered, arms crossed. Nowaki looked at him for a moment, but then switched topics. For the rest of the session Ritsu didn't talk, but when it was over Nowaki held him behind.
"You know Ritsu," The tall cheerful doctor said, unusually somber. "I'd really like it if you gave Takano Masamune a chance. There's a reason he was put into your room."
Ritsu's curiosity got the better of him. "What's the reason?"
Nowaki put a hand on his shoulder. "You'll just have to figure that out yourself. Good night Onodera-kun."
Ritsu watched as the doctor walked out of the room. He gave a big sigh, but decided that he needed to face things head on. He slowly walked towards the direction of his (not so much anymore) room.
Review please, if you would like this to continue.
For the record, I didn't put this as a crossover because the characters from Junjo Romantica (more will show up) do not play nearly as big a part of the story as our Sekaiichi Hatsukoi boys do.
I've usually only written humor fics for this fandom, so I'm not sure if this is good or not. Hopefully some of you enjoyed it. Thank you for taking the time to read it regardless! :)