They Weren't There, a ncis fanfic

A/N: This is set when Gibbs is in Mexicao and Jenny is dating the doctor that treated him. It's to "They Weren't There" by Missy Higgins.

Sarah x

You breathed infinity into my world
And time was lost up in a cloud and in a whirl.
We dug a hole in the cool grey earth and lay there for the night.
And you said, "Wait for me, we'll fly the wind.
We 'll grow old and you'll be stronger without him."

He had made her like they had forever to just be together. Leroy Jethro Gibbs had made her feel like she was the world to him. Like she could just be loved as much as she loved him.

She had over-estimated the length of time she could have with him. She lost track of it completely. One minute, she was lying in his arms in Europe and the next she had been leaving him on that plain.

They had made a safe haven for themselves in Europe. They had made a place where they could just be themselves and love each other without listening to the world and it's disapproval. They were in each others arms every night, each one dreaming of the other.

Gibbs had lifted her up out of every dark place she was in and took her flying with him. Not in the literal sense, of course, but in that he stopped her pain when she got injured. He told her she was brilliant when she doubted herself. Just made her feel better.

But then she left. Then walked back into his life and felt better. But now he had quit his job, 'retired' as he put it, leaving her behind.

And the first man she had gotten properly involved with since then had found out about Jethro when he had been in hospital. The doctor she was dating had tried to tell her that she could be stronger away from him. Jenny Shepard, happy without the man she loved being in her life? Ha. Good joke.

But oh, now my world is at your feet.
I was lost and I was found,
But I was alive and now I've drowned.
So now I will be waiting for the world to hear my song
So they can tell me I was wrong...

Her world belonged to Jethro. It had done from the moment they'd first touched. He had her heart, and always would. It didn't matter who she dated, they were nothing compared to him.

She had lost her way before she came back to Washington, and back into Gibbs' life. Even just being there, just being around him helped her find her way again. She'd found her old self again. Well, a part of the person she was all those years ago. She was still more reserved, and wouldn't let herself go for a while like she used to.

But now that Gibbs was thousands of miles away, she felt like she was suffocating. After almost a year of the man's presence, she felt empty. At least when he was there, she felt some energy in everything she did, but now she felt utterly helpless.

She was just waiting for Todd to tell her she was being stupid and that it was just a silly crush. But it was so much more than that. It was her heart that had been hurt.

But they weren't there beneath your stare,
And they weren't stripped 'till they were bare
Of any bindings from the world outside that room.
And they weren't taken by the hand
And led through fields of naked land,
Where any pre-conceived ideas were blown away...
So I couldn't say "no."

How could Todd sit there and say that she shouldn't need him. He'd never felt Jethro's penetrating stare look straight through him and find out what he felt with one look. Jenny had, and she loved that about him. How he could know what she was thinking without even having to ask.

Todd hadn't fallen in love with the man. He hadn't stayed holed up with him in who knows how many countries, feeling like he was the only one who could protect him. He had never known Jethro properly, and yet he could tell her to stop thinking about him.

Jethro hadn't held his hand and comforted him through the night when he was hurting. Jethro had done that for her when she was shot, and when her friend was murdered, and every other damn time he thought she needed him.

He had never, ever felt Gibbs' lips on his like she had done. It was comfort, or passion, or reassurance or simply, "I love you." It was whatever he decided she needed to hear, but he couldn't tell her because he sucked at speeches. Todd had never felt him do that.

She thought about it rationally before, but then she saw Jethro, and that all went out the window. She was so in love with him that she couldn't make a rational decision about what to do. It was only when SecNav had given her options laid out in front of her that she could face the truth of what she had to do.

So Todd had no idea what he was trying to get her to do. So he could not tell her that she should forget, or that she should have said "no" in the first place, because she couldn't.

You sighed and I was lost in you,
Weeks could've passed for all I knew.
You were the blanket of the over-world.
And so I couldn't say, I wouldn't say "no."
But they all said, "You're too young to even know.
Just don't let it grow and you'll be stronger without him."

When Jethro spoke, or even sighed, she fell in love with him all over again. She had never felt like that before. Never had she felt so connected to someone. She was absorbed in him when he looked at her, and drowned in him when he'd kissed her.

There had been times when she'd forgotten how much time had passed. Sometimes when she'd found out the date, she'd realised she'd been out by a long-shot in her estimation. She just loved being with him so much that she had sometimes just totally disregarded everything else, unless they were on a mission.

He was the one who had protected her through everything. All the way from D.C. to Marseilles, and then in the Czech Republic and Serbia, and in Paris where she'd made the mistake of leaving.

There was no way she could say "no" to him. He did too much for her for her to do that to him. She wouldn't do it because she couldn't.

The words that had come from Todd's mouth when she'd explained how much she loved Jethro…"You were young back then. You didn't know what you were doing." She may have been years younger than Jethro, but she was just as mature, just as strong. She was young, but she knew what she was doing.

Todd had told her that if she put Gibbs to the back of her mind, she could be happy without him. But he didn't understand what he was saying. It was too hard.

But oh, now, my world is at your feet.
I was lost and I was found,
But I was alive and now I've drowned.
So now I will be waiting for the world to hear my song
So they can tell me I was wrong...

So Jethro now had her heart. He would have it for as long as he lived, even if he out-lived Jenny.

He found her when she was young and lost. Young and trying to make a future for herself. And then suddenly, that future had his face in it.

But not now. He was gone now. As much as she hoped he would return and stop this feeling she had that told her she suffocating, the sensible part of her told her that someone would have to be in deep trouble to get his ass of that Mexican beach.

So Todd thought she was wrong to miss Jethro so much. But she couldn't help it. She loved him.

But they weren't there beneath your stare,
And they weren't stripped 'till they were bare
Of any bindings from the world outside that room.
And they weren't taken by the hand
And led through fields of naked land,
Where any pre-conceived ideas were blown away...

Todd had never been on the receiving end of the famous "Gibbs stare." the glare that told the recipient that he gave a damn about what happened to them.

The doctor had never been alone with him. He had never been in the situation where Jethro was his sanctuary, as Jenny had, and needed to trust only him.

Never having had Jethro's hand resting on his in a gesture of care, Todd had no clue what the hell he was talking about.

Jethro had never guided him, never cared for him. If Todd had been given that by him, he wouldn't be trying to make her get over him

All logical plans went all to hell when Gibbs walked in. She just couldn't walk away from him any earlier than was necessary.

So he didn't know what he was saying. He'd never felt the security Jenny had felt or the passion she had felt. He couldn't understand why Jenny could not forget because he had never been there. He had not been with Jethro. She had.

Hope it was good!

Please review!

Sarah x