Everything had become too much. Two twin brothers sat opposite each other, just looking, staring at the mirror images of themselves. The older twin, Evan, was looking back on the conversation they had hours prior.
"Now, explain to me what the actual fuck is happening."
"Well long story short, I came out to Dad, and he was pissed."
"What the fuck happened, Ethan?"
The younger brother had turned around to expose his back, and Evan would never forget it.
It was barely recognizable as human flesh, it was mauled with long scars running across his spine. Some were old, some looked barely an hour old.
Evan shook his head.
"-about to go cut a bitch."
He had stood up and walked towards the doorway when his brother stopped him.
"Don't! It'll make things even worse than they already are."
"Does it look like I give a flying fuck?" he retaliated. he was so beyond anger, it was impossible to describe.
"I guess not..."
"Where is he?"
"Home."
"...as in New York?"
"Uh..yeah."
Evan looked puzzled.
"When the fuck did you go to New York?"
"He was here on business. I went for a visit."
"I'm booking the next possible flight, then."
"Don't! Please." Ethan pleaded. he was so afraid for his brother, he couldn't risk the other half of his soul getting hurt as well.
"Why? Why the hell shouldn't I, he put you in the goddamn hospital for crying out loud!"
"He'll hurt you. I can't bear the thought of that happening."
"But he already hurt you! Am I supposed to just let that slide?"
"What else are you supposed to do, Evan? He'll tear you apart!"
"No he won't. I won't let him, but someone has to do something about this!"
"There's nothing you can do."
"There has to be."
"Like what? You can't call the cops, he'll bail himself out of jail."
"I'll figure something out."
Ethan sighed.
"Don't hurt yourself in the process."
"I won't."
"Promise?"
"I'll try."
"Way to make me feel better about this."
Evan smiled softly in return, glad that his brother had still managed to show some sort of emotion.
"I can't have you getting hurt as well, Ev. I mean it. Be careful."
"No promises."
He walked around the bed and sat on the end, right by Ethan's feet.
That was his last recollection. Then he brought himself back to the present, facing his twin.
"Are you okay? You look upset."
Ethan blinked back tears, willing himself to stay strong.
"It's not important..it's stupid."
"No it's fucking not."
"I-I can't tell you."
Evan's heart plummeted into his stomach. They told each other everything.
"Please."
"He about kicked me out, because I came out to him. He hates me now, Ev."
"He's a dick. Just know you always have me."
"..do you wanna see what he did before I went to the hospital?"
Evan nodded, curious and concerned on what it could be. His brother turned slightly, pulling up his shirt a little to show the scars that had been carved into his flesh.
"There. He c-cut it into me."
Evan was furious. The word "fag" had been sliced into his brother's hip. He glared at it and balled up his fists. Eventually he calmed down enough to put his head in his hands.
"I'm gonna fucking kill that bastard. I'm serious."
Ethan swallowed, not used to this violent side of his twin.
"Evan, you can't. He's our father."
"I don't give a flying fuck."
"What about mom? What's she gonna do?"
"I don't fucking know!"
"You can't just murder our father, you know. You'll go to jail."
"But then he won't be able to hurt you anymore."
Ethan was very close to tears at this point.
"But I'll be without you. I can't live without you."
Evan sighed.
"That's the only problem."
Ethan rested his head on his brother's shoulder, tense and nervous, and Evan rubbed his back, attempting to calm the nerves that he knew were there without even looking.
"I'm so sorry."
Ethan shrugged.
"I don't even care anymore."
"I do."
"What's going to happen? We can't fix it."
"I don't know."
Evan leaned back and closed his eyes, while Ethan laid his head on his chest. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to soothe him. Ethan wrapped his arms around his brother's waist tightly, desperate for something to hold onto. He buried his face in his twin's neck, and he cried, silently, hoping his brother wouldn't notice. But he did. Evan sat up a little, pulling his brother with him and began rubbing his back again. "Shh."
Ethan sniffed, burying his face farther.
"I can't do this anymore, Ev." he whispered.
"Don't you dare do anything to yourself."
Ethan got up slowly, inching himself towards the bathroom. Evan got up to follow him when his brother darted towards the door, locking himself in from the inside.
"ETHAN! OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR OR I WILL KICK IT DOWN. AND YOU FUCKING KNOW I WILL."
His brother didn't reply, but slid down the wall, nothing but thoughts of hatred swirling about in his mind.
"ETHAN, GODDAMMIT."
Ethan pushed himself up slowly, using the counter as a base to grip. He looked up into he mirror, and who he saw wasn't himself.
"Ethan! OPEN. THE. FUCKING. DOOR."
He glanced towards the door, and as though Evan could read his mind, he shouted again.
"OPEN IT!"
Ethan went to the door, unlocked it, and slid back against the wall.
Evan pushed it open, and strode in, standing in front of his brother.
"What. The. Hell."
His brother looked at him silently, so he tried again.
"Answer me."
He simply shook his head, and went to sit on the counter.
"Ethan."
"What?"
"What the fuck."
Ethan reached around his brother, reaching for the medicine cabinet. He rummaged around for a bit until he found a bottle of pills. Evan hit them out of his hand.
"No."
"What the hell?!"
"Stop it. Fucking stop it."
"I can't, it's too much. I can't fucking take this."
Evan got misty-eyed as he walked towards his twin.
"Don't. You know I wouldn't...I fucking couldn't."
Ethan shook his head.
"I'm sorry."
"You have to. You know I can't do it without you."
Ethan let out an angry sob.
"I..can't."
Evan was fighting back tears at this point, and he was struggling to keep his voice steady.
"You know I can't...without you...and I won't, Ethan. I just fucking wont."
Ethan was banging his forehead against the wall, trying to make some sense out of the situation.
"What the fuck am I supposed to fucking do, Evan?"
He punched the wall repeatedly, punching and punching until his knuckles cracked. Evan eventually pulled him away.
"Ethan, stop!"
He held Ethan but he was too far gone to realize it was Evan and not someone else.
"LET ME GO RIGHT NOW."
"No. You need to calm down."
"Don't tell me what to do!"
"Eth, please. It's me."
Ethan, in a blind fit of rage, punched Evan in the mouth, effectively releasing his hold on his brother.
"Ethan! Why the fuck did you punch me?"
Ethan seemed to snap out of his state, he had had a negative reaction to someone touching him.
"I-I don't know.."
Evan sighed, resting his head against the doorway.
"I don't see the purpose for living anymore."
"Ethan. Stop."
"What's the point when practically everywhere I go, Im constantly living in fear of a raised arm? I can't do this anymore!"
"Ethan, stop!"
He held Ethan but he was too far gone to realize it was Evan and not someone else.
"LET ME GO RIGHT NOW."
"No. You need to calm down."
"Don't tell me what to do!"
"Eth, please. It's me."
Ethan, in a blind fit of rage, punched Evan in the mouth, effectively releasing his hold on his brother.
"Ethan! Why the fuck did you punch me?"
Ethan seemed to snap out of his state, he had had a negative reaction to someone touching him.
"I-I don't know.."
Evan sighed, resting his head against the doorway.
"I don't see the purpose for living anymore."
"Ethan. Stop."
"What's the point when practically everywhere I go, Im constantly living in fear of a raised arm? I can't do this anymore!"
"DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU? I CAN'T, ETHAN."
"WELL I'M SORRY, BUT FOR ONCE I WANT TO JUST DO SOMETHING FOR MYSELF AND NOT THE BOTH OF US!"
"BUT THAT'S WHO WE ARE. WE ARE TWO OF A KIND, AND DAD CAN KISS MY ASS IF HE THINKS HE'S GONNA SEPERATE US."
Ethan finally broke, all composure he had left, if any, had left him and he was there, in Evan's arms. Where he was supposed to be.
"I'm so fucking sorry.." Ethan sniffed.
Evan's voice cracked.
"Don't ever leave me. Ever.
"I couldn't if I tried..I love you too much...you're my everything."
Evan buried his face in his brother's chest, sobbing at the thought of losing his other half.
"I don't want to lose you.
Ethan kissed him hard, giving him some reassurance.
"You won't."
"Good."
They intertwined their hands, making sure that the other was there. They knew that if no one else was there, they'd have each other. Ethan wrapped his arms around his brother, kissing the top of his head.
"I'll be damned if anyone tries to seperate us. They can fuck off. We need each other."
Evan nodded, and Ethan lifted his chin, kissing him softly. It took him a minute, and Evan was kissing back. Ethan wrapped his arms around his twin's waist, keeping him steady. At first the kiss was sweet and soft, but it soon turned hungry and needy, both of them making sure the other was there.
It was then that they were both glad they hadn't fallen.