AN: I don't own. But A is ever so fun to write. ;D
Oh, you know what? Those stupid bitches deserved everything I gave to them, and I'm not even done. First off, it wasn't me who made them lie their pretty little asses off. No. It wasn't me who decided that they should blind poor Jenna Cavaughna. No. It wasn't me who told Aria to hook up with her teachers for a little extra credit. It wasn't me who told Spencer to steal her sister's writing. Well, maybe it was. But hey, don't believe everything you hear. Or what everyone tells you, in this case.
But Spencer has always been a little stealing bitch, so why should she stop at boyfriends? Well-written papers are always fun, too. And need I say Hanna is landing her size three butt back in failing dorkdom? And Mona is not going to help her claw her way out, this time. Like I even wanted to in the first place....
Which brings me to my point. Hanna-kins. She always believed I was her friend. She was never good for me, though. I think, possibly, at one point I might've liked her. But her binging problem disgusted me enough to drive away what little friendship we could've had. I worked my ass off to lose that weight and become puhhh-erfectly flawless. Hanna-kins cheated her fat butt all the way through. And, um, can you say, ew?
I don't even know why Alison picked her. Hanna was always a fifth wheel. She actually fell for my fake-friending, too. I wanted to be her friend, I suppose, but what's the fun in that? I couldn't even be seen with her half the time. Wait. So that means Little Piggy never had any real friends?
Little Piggy... Little Piggy... you're such a loser, Little Piggy. I can't buhh-lieve she would actually date that freak show Lucas, too. But I guess when you're a fat snob you take whatever you can get, huh? I would, too, if I didn't have any friends except for a bag of Doritos and a toilet.
And don't even get me started on all those times we shoplifted. Well, all those times I shoplifted. When Hanna got caught, she expected me to bail her out. If the bitch can't pull her own weight, then It's not my fault, is it? No.
But anyways, what I'm trying to say here is that even though Hanna was a fat snob who I was only using to get to Ali D. and the other bitches, she was my friend. At least part of the time. Hitting her with a truck was the least I could do, you know. I should've ran her over with a forklift for all the inconvienences she caused me. But anyways,
Stupid, ugly, Hanna Marin, you're my best friend for life.
- A