Edited & Complete! I have added a few additional things, and several thousands of words. Remember: Be kind & review!
Summary:
There are times in life when many wish for a redo. One chance to correct a bad decision or mistake that could have changed the whole outcome. In some cases this may have been for themselves, or more selflessly for another. In this case we will be exploring the latter. The need and desire to do something so selfless that could cost them their life in order to save another that could spare thousands of lives, and even more from pain, both physically, and/or mentally. Clary's wish was so great and the devastation that was caused by both her father and her brother so extensive that some in heaven decided to grant her prayer. But it would come with a price, a great risk, and an even greater catch. Yet, if she succeeded it would be worthy of an epic adventure told by generation to generation for millennium to come.
Prologue:
As Clary lied in bed that night thinking of all that had happened she began to weep. Her mom was fine. Jace was fine. Luke was fine. Simon was fine. But they were all sad while Clary was happy. She had all those closest to her, but it seemed as if she walked out unscathed while they all suffered. She felt selfish. She felt cruel. She was going to get her happily ever after with Jace when so many others were miserable. So many paid the ultimate price, and even more were left behind to pick up the broken pieces. And then her thoughts turned to her father and her brother, Jonathan, the ones who caused it all to begin with. And she felt shame and regret when she lumped Jonathan in with her father. Clary didn't ever truly meet her brother until he lay dying and his green eyes were revealed. All she ever knew was a doppelganger, a spawn of Lilith wearing a Jonathan body suit.
"Ithuriel, thank you for everything. You must have been in that house for years, well before I was ever born. I wonder if you sent me anything while my mom had the block on my mind. Would it have changed anything? Could I have made things better? Was there a way to save my brother before any of it happened? Would Jonathan been a good brother if our father didn't inject him with demon's blood? What were his true intentions anyway? Was it to make Jonathan to eventually take down Idris' wards? Was it really only for that purpose? And if Jonathan didn't have demons blood in him, would our mother have loved him too? Would the love of his mother and me made a difference in the man that he was becoming?
I don't mean to ramble, but I really did want to say thank you. I don't think I could have done any of it without you. I know a part of you runs in me, and I'll thank you every day for what you've helped me do: for helping me save the people I love and for still being alive to be thankful.
And Raziel, thank you for giving me back Jace even though I shouldn't have asked. I know now it was selfish. So many died because of that one decision I hastily made. And I wish I was sorrier than I, but that is the power of love and I know I'm not. It's just looking back I know my viewpoint was narrow. I only looked where it concerned me, my mom, and Jace.
I screwed over Simon. He shouldn't have gone through any of that. While I'm grateful to have such a good parabatai, and he seems happy now, the things he had to do were…indescribable. I should have never put the mark of Cain on him. I played God, well…I played with something I didn't understand. I didn't think. I just acted. Selfishly.
People are dead because of me. There is no going back from that. I will have to live with that for the rest of my life. I love Jace. I'm thankful for having him. I'm thankful for him loving me. But I messed up royally and other people paid the price. I feel so foolish that it took until all the dust settled to realize that while I was so happy that everybody else was still suffering and trying to move on to see it.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry Ithuriel. I'm sorry Raziel. I'm sorry God. I'm sorry Jonathan. I'm so sorry to the brother I never knew."