Chapter One

Lucas and Brooke couldn't be happier. Though their parents had not taken the news of the pregnancy well at first, Karen was at least being supportive now. Brooke's parents, in traditional Davis fashion, had left town at the first sign of trouble. They were now somewhere in Paris sending only the occasional email to their one and only pregnant daughter.

Lucas and Brooke were sitting in Brooke's living room looking over a book of names. "How about Lorelai if it's a girl and Damien if it's a boy," Brooke suggested.

"First of all I'm not naming my son after Satan's child and secondly I'm not naming my daughter after a woman who had a kid at sixteen. It might give her ideas."

"What if I said we were naming her after the daughter?"

"I'd still say no."

"Mean!" Brooke crossed her arms and pouted a bit.

"What about Penelope if it's a girl?" Brooke snorted.

"There's no way I'm cursing another generation with that name."

"I think Penelope's a beautiful name. And if she looks anything like her mother she'll be beautiful."

"You think so?" Brooke asked in a low voice as she leaned towards him.

"Uh huh." He closed the gap between them and they engaged in a heated make-out session for a bit until Brooke pulled back, her hands clasped over her stomach. "What's wrong?" Lucas asked, his face plastered with concern. Brooke merely winced in response. "Come on let's get in the car. I'm taking you to the hospital." With ease, Lucas lifted Brooke off the couch bridal style and carried her to the car. The whole ride to the hospital was silent with intermittent gasps of pain from Brooke. Lucas held her hand, rubbing circles on the back of her hand with his thumb.

They pulled up in front of the hospital and almost immediately Lucas was opening the door for Brooke and helping her out. She stood, but instantly bent over a bit due to the pain, clutching her stomach. Lucas led a hobbling Brooke through the emergency room doors. "I need help!" A small nurse walked up to him.

"Fill these out." She shoved some forms at him.

"You don't understand!" Another gasp of pain from Brooke. Lucas glanced at her for a second before turning back to the nurse. "She's in pain."

"Look around, everyone here's in pain. Now why don't you and your pretty little girlfriend go sit down in the corner and fill out these forms."

A small voice prevented Lucas from responding. "Lucas it hurts." These were the first words Brooke had spoken since the pain began. Lucas turned to her, taking her face in his hands.

"I know Pretty Girl. But it's going to get better I promise." He scooped her up, threw one last dirty look in the nurse's direction and then pushed his way into the hospital.

"You can't go back there!" the nurse called as she followed him through the doors. Lucas was about to turn around and give her a very colorful response but was cut off by a doctor.

"Excuse me young man, what's the problem here?" The doctor blocked Lucas's path.

"My pregnant girlfriend is in pain and this nurse won't do a thing about it except tell me to fill out these forms."

"How far along is she?" The doctor asked.

"About three months." Brooke whimpered a bit in pain. The doctor took one look at the pitiful pregnant teen and her dedicated boyfriend and took matters into his own hands.

"You can fill those forms out later. Let's get her checked out." Lucas followed the doctor, leaving the disgruntled nurse behind.

Lucas tucked a stray hair behind Brooke's ear. She smiled up at him. "I'm glad you're feeling better."

"How's the baby?" Brooke asked.

"I don't know the doctor told me he'd be back in to talk to both of us." At just that moment the door opened to reveal Brooke's savior, the doctor who was willing to go against the rules to save Brooke and her baby.

"How are you feeling?" he asked Brooke.

"How's my baby?" she demanded. The doctor's face twisted up a bit.

"I'm sorry to tell you, but you lost the baby." Without a word, Brooke turned to Lucas and he wrapped his arms around her allowing her to soak his shirt with her tears. In an attempt to be strong for her, Lucas choked back his own.

Brooke pulled the covers up a bit more. She gently stroked the picture in her hand. A picture that was taken while her baby was still in the womb, the only picture she would ever have of her child. The tears that had plagued her since she was told that she was never going to get to hold her child welled up in her eyes. It seemed that that was all Brooke had done lately, cry. When she first lost the baby, she didn't leave her bed. She just sat and cried. Two weeks later she returned to school. But school didn't bring her the excitement it usually did. She turned from social butterfly to recluse, pushing everyone close to her away including Lucas. She quit cheerleading and her already horrible grades dropped to abysmal levels. Though she hadn't moved much, she had lost weight due to her inability to keep food down. At the lowest point, Brooke had even considered opting out, killing herself. But then she thought of Lucas. That boy who would do anything for her. He would blame himself and Brooke just couldn't do that to him. A gentle knock interrupted her thoughts.

"Hey Pretty Girl."

"Hey." Lucas walked to her bed and sat down beside her. He noticed the picture in her hand. Without a word, he took it looking down at it for a bit and then put in the drawer of her nightstand.

"You've got to get out of bed."

"I can't." Lucas touched her chin, pulling her face up to look at it. Her eyes were ringed red and had dark circles under them. The bones in her face were more pronounced. It was clear that she had been taking this badly.

"Brooke I lost my child, I can't lose you too."

"You haven't, I'm still here." Lucas took her hand.

"You may be here physically, but you've changed." Brooke scoffed and she pulled her hand away from Lucas.

"Of course I've changed. I lost my child damn it!" She rolled over and got out of the bed.

"Well so did I! But I didn't let it destroy me. I'm still living, instead of being holed up in my house. What are you hiding from Brooke?" Brooke turned away so that he wouldn't see her cry, so that he wouldn't know that she knew he was right about her attempting to hide.

"I just can't do this," she whispered. She could feel his presence as he moved to stand behind her. His arms wrapped around her, spinning her to face him.

"I'm here for you. We'll get through this together. And the first step is to get you out of this house."

"Lucas I don't think…" but Lucas stopped her.

"Brooke I'm not leaving unless you go with me. So you can either walk out of

here of your own accord, or I can force you. It's as simple as that." He smiled at her, and then kissed her gently. "I love you Pretty Girl." Brooke knew he was waiting for her to respond, but she couldn't. She couldn't let herself open up to him again. Because she knew that as soon as things started going right something terrible would happen and she would be back to square one. It seemed Lucas gave up. "I'll see you downstairs in a little bit." And then he was gone. Brooke let the tears flow freely now. What was wrong with her? She loved Lucas more than anyone could possibly know, but right now she was pushing him away. She hated that he could move on so quickly. They were going to have a baby for goodness sake. And it had taken him all of a couple weeks before he was back to his old life. Brooke knew that she could never go back. This baby had scarred her permanently. She sunk down to the floor, clutching her stomach and taking comfort in the fact that she had sunk so low that the only way things could go was up.

The first time Brooke left the house of her own accord for something other than school was James's funeral. She sat through the whole service, watching Haley cry. And she saw in Haley what she wished she didn't. She saw herself. She saw how no matter how many times Nathan touched the small blonde she would gently pull away. Brooke couldn't let another repeat her mistake, so she warned Haley not to do the damage in her relationship that Brooke had already done in her own. Though she and Lucas were still technically together, she couldn't remember the last time she had actually kissed him back when he kissed her.

That night was the first time that Brooke ever prayed. She prayed for Haley and Nathan to start with, praying that they would get through it though she knew they would. They were strong. Then she prayed for Peyton and Jake. Peyton had tried to be there for Brooke but she only made things worse. Every time she was in the room Brooke could almost smell baby on her. Peyton had Jenny and as much as Brooke hated herself for it, she couldn't stand that. So she and Peyton had not spoken in a while, but Brooke still prayed that her best friend was doing well. Last but not least she prayed for Lucas to find someone new, hoping against hope that God wouldn't do what she was asking him to.

The first time Brooke was actually faced with a real live baby was shortly after the funeral. Despite Lucas's pleading Haley had brought little Brooklyn over to see Brooke. Brooke sobbed when the baby was placed in her arms. And when she was told that the baby was named after her because Haley thought that Brooke was a strong role model, the tears flowed even more (if that was humanly possible). Brooke was no role model. But she vowed to herself that from then on she would try harder, if not for herself then for little Brooklyn. And try she had. She had thrown herself into her school work and brought her grades up to even higher levels than they had been at before the baby. She called up a shocked Peyton to hang out. Brooke tried to prove to Haley that life did go on after losing a child, even though Brooke herself did not believe that. And after a bit things seemed to be getting back to normal, most weekends Brooke was out of the house. But though she was smiling on the outside, she was dead on the inside.