I can't even begin to describe how I felt. Abandoned? Broken? Destroyed? Well maybe not the last one but you know what I mean. My situation right now is a very good one. Not to me anyways. If only I had stayed home today. Would I be in this situation? Yes. They always found me. Always. I can never escape them. I'm not even sure my father knows what is going on. He probably thinks I am going on the rebelious phase. Must be because he only looks at me in disappointment and pity. Pity because he had wanted a better son. Not me and my stupid problems.
As I lay on the ground on the football field feeling sore and battered I begin to think. Why is the football team always picking on me? They just left after giving me the usual beating. It must be because i'm small and defenseless. No wait, it must be because I have buck teeth and no friends in school. In the end it will most likely be both. I don't really care though. Everyone I try to befriend just pushes me away afraid that I will drag them into my problems. No one wants to be friends with John Egbert. The son of a local baker and school nerd. My father never once questions me about the bruises and injuries I have or came home with. Not even once.
Like I said, he probably thinks I am rebelious. He thinks I start all the fights. He punsihes me for them. "No computer for a week." he'd said.
"Why can't you be a better son?" he'd said. That really breaks my heart to hear my own father say that. It gets very lonely when you are your own friend who understands. Just two months ago I discovered a chat called Pesterchum. That's where I met Dave, Rose, and Jade. They are really nice to me and think of me like a friend. Look who can't talk to them for a week.
Will I ever find a happy ending? Would I finally ever feel loved? Maybe. Just maybe. But for now I must survive this hell hole then I can finally escape. Escape from all this pain to somewhere where I can be loved and welcomed. Just one year left. Please let me survive a year.