A/N-Yay Harry Potter! This is half AU half canon taking place during Deathly Hallows. I started writing this before DH and then found it again today, added some more and edited it. Kinda drabbly, Hermione's POV.
I don't own Harry Potter.
Torn
It never should have happened this way. If I had my way, I wouldn't be here. If I had my way, you wouldn't be floating through my thoughts right now. You were never the one for talking, and now, nobody can stop talking about you. You're everybody's hero, and yet you can't think of the right words to say now.
I can't be here…someone might see me. Your pain was once mine; our blood would flow as one. Now, in our grown up world with our grown up toys, we've been torn apart.
It's felt like years since I last touched your skin, held you close or even been able to think of you without this feeling of loss inside. Leaving was the smartest and stupidest thing you could have ever done. You started your life over again, but you left me behind. You didn't even tell your parents where you went. Didn't you think of the pain you caused your parents? Your siblings? Your friends? Me? You ran away without a single thought for anyone but yourself.
It broke my heart when I found the note on your pillow. The sun was a deceptive one when it shined with its impression of warmth. Your bags had been packed and taken away-you didn't even do me the courtesy of seeing you to the door. You left me sobbing your name as you left and unable to say all the things I wanted to tell you. All remnants of your existence were gone. It was if you had fallen off the face of the earth.
You tricked us. You lied to us. I would hate you but I can't. I hate being unable to hate you. You're like a disease to me. I hate you. I love you. I can't make up my mind.
I'm supposed to be smart. I'm supposed to know what to do. I'm supposed to be the calm one who always knows what direction is right. I would come after you if I could. However I'm needed. I don't run from need, unlike you. You saw a bit of hard work and you bolted. Your name makes me sick.
I hate you Ron Weasley.
Too bad I love you too.