Hello all! This is my first Forever fanfic so let me know what you all think of it :) This is just pure Abe/Heny fluff!
It had all started off as joke; just a passing way for Abe to jab at Henry. They'd been pursuing the shelves at a local book store when Abe had found a misplaced children's book in the history section he was searching through. After flipping through the pages, he'd laughed a bit, handing the book to Henry. "Sounds just like you…..always holding on a bit too tight" he said with a smile.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Henry asked indignantly before he had looked at it.
"Means you're a worrywart" Abe teased good naturedly before walking down the book shelves, back on the search. But Henry remained frozen, words echoing through his head.
"I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be"
It was just an innocent children's book; it was actually really supposed to be charming. A mother checking on her son during the night and rocking him in his sleep, up through the years until adulthood with the son ultimately rocking dear old mum to sleep. But something about it bothered him in a way that only a parent looking back on their child's childhood memories could. Parents rocking their children to sleep in the moment it might not have meant that much. Babies are only small enough to rock to sleep for a few years and then grow too old and independent to even need or want that. Often, parents don't even think of it until something happens that reminds them of those long ago memories. No one ever thinks about it but one time you rock your child to sleep will be the last; you put them down and never pick them up again. Henry tried to recall with his excellent memory the last time he had rocked Abe to sleep but he couldn't. All of the colic, nightmares, bedwetting and flu fevered nights blurred together in a mass of memories and he couldn't pull the last one out of it.
Feeling emotional and foolishly so, Henry had shoved the children's book in the middle of the rest of the ones he planned to purchase and went to the register when Abe was still searching. He was despondent the rest of the day and Abe could tell. As they sat eating their lunch later in the day, Abe looked at Henry over the edge of his tea cup. "What's wrong?" he finally asked. "Do I look ill or something?"
Henry was roused from his thoughts, jerking slightly to attention. "What?" Henry asked, surprised.
"Well, you haven't touched your food" Abe gesturing to Henry's untouched plate "And you keep staring at me. Like I might explode or something" Abe gave him a smile "So, what's the problem?"
In truth, Henry had really just been lost in thought. Though it would probably embarrass Abe to no end, Henry still saw him as a boy sometimes. He couldn't help it; he still saw him as his child that needed protecting. And he knew soon enough there would come a point that he wouldn't be able to protect him any longer. Because that's what had really bothered him about that silly book; "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be". The way it was intended, Henry knew the author meant it that the parent would think of their child as a baby for as long as they lived. But in his case, he really would love Abe forever. One day, Abe would be gone and Henry would still be around. He would love Abe for as long as he lived, however long that might be.
"I'm just being a thoughtful old man. Ignore me" Henry said, giving Abe a smile as he started to eat his lunch. His smile must have been convincing enough because Abe began to prattle on about this and that, completely convinced that Henry wasn't dying a little bit on the inside.
….
That night, Henry couldn't sleep; all of his thoughts had gotten to him more than he realized. He ended up pacing the house until he had ended up outside Abe's bedroom door. Maybe it was silly; no doubt Abe would think it was. But there was just something that he wanted to hold onto even if it was just one last time. Especially if it was just one last time.
Henry had finally been able to pull out the memory he'd been seeking; the last time he had rocked Abe to sleep as a child. He wasn't sure why he hadn't been able to remember before; it was a memory that wasn't lumped in with all of those numerous ones from infant and toddlerhood.
Abe was eight; old enough that Henry hadn't checked in on him or sang him to sleep in a great long while. He was at the age where he wanted to exert his independence and wanted it to be known that he certainly was not, in any way, a baby. But it was young enough to still feel vulnerable and that night he had.
It had been a long day; Abe had had a terrible flu and he and Abigail had watched his fever worriedly all day, coaxing liquids into him trying to replenish all of the fluid he had lost from constant vomiting. He'd finally, near midnight, been able to fall into a fitful and much needed sleep. Henry, exhausted by it all, had been on his way to his own room when he'd heard the sound of soft crying. He followed the sound to Abe's room, poking his head quietly in the door. He could see Abe curled in the middle of the bed, his face muffled into his pillow but the shaking of his shoulders making it obvious that he was crying.
"Abe? Are you okay?" Henry had asked, feeling sympathy at the sight of the tears on his already ill son.
Abe had hastily wiped his tears away, as if Henry couldn't see it. "I'm fine, dad. Go to sleep" he had tried to sound okay but it came across as sounding desperately tired and alone. There was no way Henry could go to bed, knowing Abe was in here crying by himself.
Henry crossed the room and sat on the edge of Abe's bed. "What's wrong, Abe?" he prodded gently, putting his hand on Abe's shoulder.
Abe gave a small sniffle that made him sound much younger than his eight years. "I said I'm fine" he insisted.
"I heard you crying" Henry said as gently as he could.
"I wasn't" Abe argued but Henry was already turning Abe around to face him. Henry could barely make out his glassy eyes and rosy fevered cheeks out in the dark of the room, only illuminated by the light streaming in from the hallway.
"It's okay, you know. To cry, I mean" Henry explained. "It's not something to feel you need to hide"
Abe didn't comment on it, still looking as if he wished he could pretend it didn't happen. "I'm just so tired…" he said quietly. "I fell asleep but I had nightmares. Now I can't go back to sleep"
Henry knew Abe was trying to hold on and be brave but he looked about ready to dissolve into tears again any moment. Without even realizing it, Henry had scooped Abe's tiny body up, placing him into his lap. "What are you doing, dad?" Abe asked, his tired mind addled and confused.
Henry pulled the blanket around Abe, warm but not too warm around his fevered body. "I'm going to stay with you until you go to sleep; help make it a bit easier." He said simply, rocking back and forth as he began to hum a calming tune.
"You…..don't…have to" Abe tried to argue but he was in no state to fight against it. Within minutes he had been asleep.
That had been the last time until now, more than fifty years later. Henry opened the door to Abe's room, this time finding instead of a crying little boy, a peaceful, sleeping man. Henry walked into Abe's room, sitting down on the edge of the bed, looking at Abe's calm face with paternal affection. His heart was warmed but his throat was tightened; all day he had been focused on the fact that he wouldn't always have this. There had been so much of his life that he hadn't had Abe; he'd been childless for longer than most people lived. But now that he had decades to know the love and happiness that having a child could bring, he wasn't sure how he could manage now without it.
He couldn't think about it, couldn't imagine it; so now he just wouldn't think about it. There would be a time that he would have to face it and it would consume him; it would be all he could think about. But right now he didn't have to.
Grateful that Abe was a deep sleeper, Henry slipped into his bed, lying behind him. Obviously, he couldn't really rock Abe anymore; he settled for propping him against his chest, head on his shoulder. Abe stirred slightly but went slack against Henry once more after a moment. Henry sat in the silence for a long time, just watching him. The feel of his heart beat against Henry's hand, the warmth of him; Henry tried to memorize it all for a time when he would only have his memories.
"I'll love you forever, Abe" Henry whispered, half glad Abe couldn't really hear him and half wishing he could. "As long as I'm alive…..even if it's for centuries more…my baby you'll be"
Thank you all for reading :) The book mentioned in the story is Love You Forever by Robert Munsch if you want to check it out. Its super adorable :D