Away From The Sun

Away From The Sun

It's down to this,
I've got to make this life make sense,
Can anyone tell what I've done,

I've messed up. Bad. I never asked for this, but I got it, anyway. And boy, is it hell. I hate being what I am, and no one can ever change that. All the same, I can never thank Carlisle for not going against my mother's wishes.
I miss the life,
I miss the colors of the world,
Can anyone tell where I am,

There are so many things that I miss about real life that are now a foggy dream. I miss my mother and my father, and miss knowing what I was meant to have in a normal life. My life is like a rainbow with some of the colors missing from it. I can't get them back.

'Cause now again I've found myself,
So far down, away from the sun,

That shines into the darkest place,

I'm so far down, away from the sun again,
Away from the sun again,

Once again, I have found myself so far away from the past that I long to have, now. If only my mother knew what a monster I turned out to be, she would have let me die like I was supposed to. I long for everything that I missed in life, and I know now that I can't get them back.

I'm over this,
I'm tired of living in the dark,
Can anyone see me down here,
I am over trying to get back what I know that I can't, but I could save my angel. She will live in constant midnight, and she will never remember anything, and she will not have lived her life as best as she could. She is being dragged down into my pit of darkness instead of staying in the human world where she belongs, naturally.
The feeling's gone,
There's nothing left to lift me up,
Back into the world I know,

I am dead knowing that she wants what I have. I can't let her have her way, because if she was to see how torturous this was, she would never dream for immortality. I can't pull myself back up into the world that I long for, and it makes me numb. I don't want her to have that same numbness later on.

And now again I've found myself,
So far down, away from the sun,
That shines into the darkest place,
I'm so far down, away from the sun,


That shines to light the way for me,
To find my way back into the arms,
That care about the ones like me,
I'm so far down, away from the sun again,

I know that I have all that I ever wanted right here, but then again, I don't. I have a loving father and mother, two brothers, two sisters, and a soon-to-be wife. But my consciousness is failing, and I can't find the loving arms of my family, anymore. I feel as though I am never going to come back to the ever again, when I think about taking someone's life, because I have this pang of guilt that I will end up taking her in the wrong way, and then they will never forgive me.

It's down to this,
I've got to make this life make sense,
And now I can't tell what I've done,

And now again I've found myself,
So far down, away from the sun,
That shines to light the way for me,

'Cause now again I've found myself,
So far down, away from the sun,
That shines into the darkest place,
I'm so far down, away from the sun,
That shines to light the way for me,
To find my way back into the arms,
That care about the ones like me,
I'm so far down, away from the sun again,

Oh no...
Yeah...
I'm gone...

But I suppose that all things are meant to be. I am already gone, and I can't change that, and if this is what Bella wants, to be gone, then so be it. I will never forgive myself for taking away what is most important to her, but to make her happy would make me overcome with joy. She will forever be my sun, and I will never separate from it. I will never go away from the sun, ever again, because I will forever revolve around her after the deed is done.