I wrote this chapter ages ago, but I never got around to posting it. So here it is…

Disclaimer: Don't own the turtles.

.Guilt.

.Prologue.

.A Broken family.

Donatello sat at his computer typing; only the soft buzz of the machinery accompanied the sound of his fingers moving over the keyboard. Looking at the screen, you could see he was typing random letters, numbers and symbols, not really paying attention to the device. Instead, his attention was on the door. He was the only one remaining in the lair, Leo had made him stay, and Donny understood why. He put his hand on the mouse and highlighted his pages and pages of random letters, and then he began to copy and paste the lot, making a very large document. His eyes flicked to the time in the corner of the screen, it would be light soon. Leo had left hours ago, and was meant to be home hours ago. Don looked back to the door, just willing Leo to walk through, even if he had made no progress. Donny couldn't stand the thought of losing another brother; he didn't want to be alone.

He remembered when it had all started, only six months ago.

It was only six months ago that the family had begun to fall apart with the death of the youngest turtle, Michelangelo.

It was hard for him to think that it had only been six months; it seemed like another lifetime that he last saw his little brother. He could remember the night exceptionally well, down to the last detail…

It was a clear night, the air felt icy, especially for a turtle. Donatello glanced at the small device in his hands before looking up at his older brother. Leo had his eyes set forward, running as fast as humanly, or turtly, possible. They both jumped from building to building, never slowing down and hardly talking at all, except to check where they were headed.

"How much further, Don?" Leo asked.

"Just down here" Donny answered, pointing to the nearest alley. They were heading to Raph's signal; it hadn't been long ago that they had received an emergency call from him, telling them that Mikey was injured. They couldn't get him to elaborate; all he told them was that Mike was hurt really bad. They could only pray they weren't too late.

The two brothers jumped down the fire escape quickly, the alley was quiet. A little too quiet... But they knew Raph was here, and probably Mikey, too. Leo was the first to notice the silhouette that was their brother, Raphael.

"Over here" he almost whispered as he began making his way over to Raph.

Raph didn't even notice his brother approaching; his attention was on the shape in front of him. Donny followed Leo slowly to where he could see their brother. As Leo reached Raph, he had to ask.

"Mikey? Raph, where's Mikey?"

Raph's head sank further into his chest but he gave no other response. Just as Donny reached them, Leo noticed what was in front of his brother.

"Mikey?"

He got no response from Mike or Raph; he got one from Donny though.

"Mikey!" Don cried as he dropped to his knees beside his fallen brother.

"Mike…" Leo whispered, still in shock, "is he going to be alright Don?"

Only then was it that Don registered that it might not be too late; he checked for a pulse. Nothing.

"Don?" Leo didn't like the way Donny was acting.

"Nothing" replied Don, his tone obvious that he had no hope; his little brother was gone.

None of them really knew what to do; they all stood there dumbly. Don looked Mikey over more carefully. From the current position he could see the hole in Mike's chest, aimed clumsily at the heart, most likely made from a knife of sorts. That must have been the end of his brother, but there were other injuries. There was blood dribbled down the corner of his mouth leading to a small puddle on the ground that small puddle joined a huge one still seeping out from underneath the turtle.

That's when it hit him; the truth came crashing down around him. Michelangelo was dead, gone, not alive. Never again would he hear that annoying laugh, see that cheeky smile, fall prey to a childish prank. Never again would Mikey come to him with something to fix with that pleading, whiny voice and those big puppy dog eyes… his baby brother, the lighthearted, innocent turtle… it was so unfair how life worked, his brother… Never again would any of them be whole, they would no longer be four ninja turtles, just three. He felt so empty already. He missed Mikey.

His thoughts were interrupted by Leo who seemed to have temporarily gotten over his shock and grief, "Guys, we've gotta go"

Don took a few minutes to register what the words meant, and that he had to move. "Raph, did anyone call the police?"

Raph however didn't seem to be listening. "It's my fault," he muttered to himself.

"No" Leo disagreed, "Raph you tried your best"

"I did it…"

"Did what?" Donny asked.

"…My fault…" Raph repeated.

"Raph" Leo interrupted, "You can't blame yourself, there was nothing you could've done"

"You don't get it, if I'd just waited…"

"If you'd waited for what? To call us, Raph, you could've died too" Leo tried to convince him he was wrong.

"I'm sorry Mike," he whispered before he stood up. Despite his injuries, he picked up Mikey and jumped onto the rooftop, leaving it to Leo and Don to follow him home.

The turtles arrived back at the lair to be greeted by Master Splinter who, upon seeing Michelangelo, seemed to age before their eyes. As soon as Mike was taken from him, Raph collapsed onto the floor. He had ignored his own injuries when carrying his brother, but now that the need was gone he had nothing to propel him forwards. Instead of spending time on the brother they couldn't save, they spent their time making sure they didn't lose two.

Donny snapped out of his memories when he heard the lair door open, with a slight ray of hope he ran out to greet his older brother. "Anything?"

Just looking at Leo he knew the answer even before his brother shook his head. Don's spirits fell again; he always got so excited when Leo got back, deep down he still held hope, after six months you think he would've given up hope that they'd find their missing brother. After Michelangelo's death, their other brother, Raphael, had gone missing from the lair as they had all slept and never returned. They still harbored some hope that their brother was alive, but he had left while still injured which greatly depleted his chance. They clung to the hope that he would still come back one day.

Yeah right, Don thought as Leo walked further into the lair. Donny followed Leo to the kitchen and as his brother got a drink of water, he continued to talk, "There are a bunch of new gangs around, Casey can't do it all himself and I think April's slowly convincing him to stop trying. He's gonna get himself killed"

"Those two deserve a proper life" Don told his brother who nodded sadly.

"Yeah, the only problem is, should we help with the gangs? What would Master Splinter say?"

Don could also remember the death of their beloved father and sensei, only three weeks after the loss of their two brothers. His health had been a constant worry for the brothers, with each passing day their father grew thinner and weaker, he didn't look after himself, and that one morning he just failed to wake up, leaving only Don and Leo remaining of their small family.

They buried Master Splinter near Mikey at Casey's farmhouse; they could only hope someone could bury them there, and that they could find Raph so that they could truly be together.

Don had his response to Leo's last question, "He would say your safety is important, don't throw your life away"

"Yeah, I guess" Leo reluctantly agreed, "But we can't keep living like this"

"There is no other way for us to live"

"I know, I wish Master Splinter was here… and Mikey and Raph"

"Me too" Don stood up, "Can I please come next time?"

Leo looked at him, "You know what happened last time"

Don nodded, they both remembered. They had run into some trouble and Donny got hurt, not seriously but enough to scare Leo, Leo had helped him but wouldn't let him go again, Leo spoke again, "I can't lose you too"

"I know but I'll be careful"

"Fine, but if anything like that happens again…"

Donny quickly agreed, a little happier now that he had a chance to help and wouldn't feel quite as useless. He wanted to find Raph too, to find a little hope for their broken family.

.End Prologue.