Alice's Monologue
It happened so quickly. The perfect party – just how I had imagined – had twisted the future into the most unrecognisable scene. My soul mate attacking my best friend; his unmanageable thirst overriding every careful precaution. His instincts taking control of his actions instead of rational thought. I had seen him react this way before, to other humans... he acted this way at school sometimes.
Although I dwell in the future I remember the past clearly; the first time we had been in school was 1942. The entire family had been staying in Alaska, as Jasper needed all the support he could get we had spent the previous two weeks with Tanya and her family. I was so excited to finally begin living the vision I had seen so many years previous. All of us: Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and me; had arrived under perfect control. All dressed immaculately. Despite their protests they were made agreeable because of Jasper's empathic gifts. I can feel a small smile tug at my grieving lips at the beauty of the memory.
As the memory continued playing it became drenched in terror and sorrow. We had passed through the car park quickly, anxious for Jasper to make it through the day. To the unsuspecting humans, Jasper had been flanked by Edward and Emmett, but in truth it was for their protection. The dim glass door was just ahead. The door opened. The scent hit me. Venom flowed into my mouth. His eyes changed -the blood lust taking control. His lunge avoiding the strong muscles of his brothers. His strike killing the receptionist instantly. Her face frozen in shock at the sight of the three gorgeous men before her. His lips caressing her now bloodless throat. He drank victoriously until he was hauled away by his saviours.
I felt my smile change to be instantly replaced with a grimace as a shudder shook me from the memory. He wouldn't look at me for weeks after that. He was so ashamed of his weakness that was displayed in his blood red eyes. However as he continued practising, his instincts became controlled. He still needs support but the improvement has been amazing. Pride fills my being, accompanied by an intense love and admiration for my soul mate. But never has he been so crushed with this unwilling possession, as he was this evening. Tonight has brought many new revelations to this family that will scar us for the rest of eternity.
The small perfect drop of blood dripped effortlessly from her shallow cut. Although I have never tasted human blood my senses were heightened by the exposure. My mind was spinning with the vision of the immediate future. I was too late to stop the coming confrontation but I could never have guessed that they would cause such consequences as we are dealing with now. Edward protected Bella instantly as soon as he heard Jasper's thoughts turn instinctual. I panicked for Jasper's welfare in a fight against Edward. Yes, Jasper was a trained soldier but Edward was completely overwhelmed with the impulse to protect Bella.
Thankfully Emmett pulled Jasper away from Bella and Edward. He took him away, Rose helping him rescue Jasper from himself. I wanted to go with him but I needed to be with Bella now. She was the priority. Her face was so shocked yet Edward was still not breathing; this worried me. I didn't want to have to fight Edward to stop him killing Bella himself.
I couldn't breathe easily. I didn't want to have to deal with my own thirst. She is so small even compared to me and vulnerable. Her face as white as Edward's. Hers twisted in shock at the sudden turn of events - his, disfigured in pain and despair. I know Edward well and I saw how he was tormenting himself for what almost happened tonight. I know he will be more careful after this. I had to leave the room once Carlisle had begun tugging at her deeper wound. The blood spilling onto the kitchen table. I had to find Jasper I was still anxious for his safety; at least they hadn't fought when I arrived. Edward was trying to assure Jasper everything was fine but his emotions had betrayed him. We all knew how much this had cost him.
I tried to reason with both of them. But Jasper was too ashamed and worried of offending me to listen to my logic. He didn't understand he was my true saviour. Every time he stayed to protect me without flinching. He lived to keep me safe. He was trying to do that now by making the decision to leave the family until Bella changed; so I'll still have my best friend. Only this is out of his control, only Edward can save me this time. However, Edward wouldn't be comforted by my "solid" vision as he was too outraged with himself. Rosalie, of course, didn't help my crusade with her smug and self-righteous attitude.
I remember the first time I saw Bella in my visions. It was only nine months ago that Edward had made the decision to save her. She's clumsy and uncoordinated so prone to near-death experiences. It was icy and she had been checking her tyres for an absurd reason. As she was examining them she had been oblivious to Tyler Crowley speeding along the slick road. He lost control and I only saw, in my minds eye, Bella being compacted by the van.
I remember the vision shifting as Edward had instinctively charged at her to protect her from the immediate danger. He braced himself, waiting for the impact. He held her tenderly although his actions were fierce. I had to force Jasper out of the car park to remove him from temptation; I was sure Edward would be able to resist her elixir like blood until they reached Carlisle.
That single action had brought so many disruptions within our family. After Bella had been seen by Carlisle she had begun questioning poor Edward. He lied to her trying to blame her injuries on her delusional theory of him being further away than he actually was.
Once she was home and I saw that she would make a full recovery we had discussed our future. I have fought for her acceptance from the beginning. While Bella slept her life was fought for while the future had solidified, in my mind, into a now lost happy ending. This terrible evening had all taken place in the dining room, forcing us to be civil. Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett forming the opposition to keeping Bella with us. Rosalie had been very persistent in her opinion and even suggested killing Bella herself! I was so angry at her idea that I can feel the same anger spike into my tiny frame now. However, she had been, surprisingly, easily persuaded as Carlisle set her straight about the "humane" issues surrounding her assassination plans.
That night was one of the best nights of my life. Jasper was so controlled in what he said. He believed Bella to be a threat so had decided to take matters into his own hands. I could see the passion and desire to make me safe burn in his eyes. They had smouldered my favourite golden colour, as if the entire world's collection of gold was gathered there. In that one glance I saw that he would do as I asked because of the love that was immersed in both our souls.
When Edward saw Jasper's determination to protect me he rose to Bella's aid. That was when I was struck by the vision. I was in my bedroom in Forks. Sitting and hugging a human Bella. Her face smiling and content. The timing unsure but it was certain as I was of my love for Jasper. Love filled the vision as well as equality, friendship and understanding. She knew everything about me and I her. She had been accepted by Edward and their love had brought new life to all of us. Edward had been so stubborn and negative about the vision and the idea of him being worthy of loving the girl he had saved. It seems so strange to think he didn't want her. He now can't live without her.
As I think about the memory my mind is abused by the strength of the vision, as if it was the first time I had experienced it, but it was overshadowed by the devastating grief that filled my soul as it was now lost forever after the consequences of tonight's events. I tremble and buckle under its force. I'm left shivering; forced to lay on mine and Jasper's bed. Only wishing that one day I may be sitting here happily hugging by best friend - Bella.
Only now have I had my eyes flown wide open. The future shifting as Edward resolved tonight's issue. The future is now cold and bleak for Edward and Bella. We will all be forced to leave for Bella's sake. Edward and I will debate furiously but I will, eventually, agree with him. He won't be strong enough to stay away long. He can't be that strong… The blame falls entirely on my unpredictable second sight and therefore I'm responsible for the coming black months. I was trying to make Bella happy, I've always known what's best for her. But Edward has decided and is determined to follow through. This will kill her she won't be able to cope. Now I fear I have lost my best friend and sister forever. What have I done? I stand unsteadily thinking only of Jasper and my urgency to be with him. He went hunting hours ago and I wonder were his thoughts have taken him. I'd rather deal with his self-condemned problems than watch the future solidify.