"FOOTBALL HEAD!" it was the inevitable scream that could be heard miles out of Hillwood.
"He's a bold kid." Gerald mumbled to his girlfriend, Phoebe, who simply giggled.
"I wonder what it is this time." She smiled.
"Who knows with those two? All I know is- when she goes to making objects fly, I'm hiding in the Janitors closet! That eraser actually hurt!"
"I know Gerald. I'm quite sure Helga is simply talking to him."
"IM GONNA KILL YOU, YOU STUPID FOOTBALL HEAD!"
"Helga, Don't do that!" Arnold pleaded, ducking from a trophy that went flying.
"Yeah, she's just talking to him." He gave his girlfriend a knowing look.
"Alright. Guess we should stop her from harming him." Phoebe smiled.
"That's not funny! She could kill him if she wanted to!" Gerald pleased, now scared for his best friends well being.
"ARNOLD PHILLIP SHORTMAN! YOU GET BACK WITH THAT THIS INSTANT!"
"I'm starting to believe you." Phoebe shared a horrified glance with Gerald. They paid for their ice cream and left Slaucens Ice Cream Parlor.
They ran to where the commotion is from, The Shortman/Pataki house. They opened a door and ducked, just barley missed a remote being thrown.
"That Temper!" Gerald exclaimed
"CAN IT GERALDO OR YOURE NEXT!" Helga had a shoe in her hand and Gerald quickly jumped behind the couch, narrowly avoiding bruises by a shoe. Phoebe ran into the kitchen by the front door, avoiding the shoe too.
"Hey Gerald" Arnold smiled Sheepishly
"Man! What did you do this time?" Gerald was half between laughter, half scared. He could only imagine what his best friend had done to set her off this time.
Arnold reached over and pulled out the pink notebook dated 4th Grade Diary. "I Almost Got killed by a shoe over a notebook!? You're a bold kid Arnold!"
Arnold then peeked over the couch, saw his girlfriend searching for a weapon of choice and stood up knowing he was safe. "Arnold, My Love God! My Heart Burns With The Intensity Which Is That Of A Million Suns!" Arnold Stood reciting his girlfriend's diary. Gerald busted in to uncontrollable laughter along with Arnold.
"ITS NOT FUNNY!" Helga grabbed a cup and threw it at the football headed boy, only to miss, smashing into pieces against the wall. "PLEASE STOP READING THEM!" She pleaded
"Say Please, Beautiful?"
"Please, Beautiful!?"
"I'll think about it!"
"NO! Criminey football head! Give it back or else!"
"What's That You Say? Another One, Cecile? Well, Helga! If You Insist!" Arnold stood behind the safety of the couch, ready to duck at any minute. Gerald was already crouched down behind the couch, and Phoebe was behind the bar of their new apartment.
"Stop Calling me Cecile! And for the love of Criminey, GIVE ME BACK MY DIARY FOOTBALL HEAD!" now she was hell-bent on shutting him up.
Arnold was flipping through the pages carelessly while Helga searched for another item to be thrown.
"Cowlicks like fields of yellow corn, All the days of the week, I write the name I care not speak, The boy with the cornflower hair, My beloved, My despair!"
"ARNOLD!"
"INCOMING!" Arnold ducked behind the safety of the couch as a purse threatened to greet his face.
"You, My Friend, Are ONE BOLD KID!" Gerald couldn't contain his laughter. "Have you ever thought of bubble wrapping things so they WON'T get broken?"
Arnold laughed, regaining some composure, and stood up to do more reciting of her poetry when he was suddenly ambushed by non other than Helga Pataki herself.
"I said give it back or else, football head!" she screamed, snatching the book from him since he was now recovering from being ambushed. "Victory!" she held the diary above her head in victory, but not for long because Arnold knew just where to tickle her. Gerald made his retreat to the safety of the kitchen with Phoebe who looked half way annoyed with him.
"Well, provoking her didn't make it any better for him."
"Sorry babe. Its hard not to laugh." He kissed her cheek
"I- I Said- St-Stop-STOP IT Foot-Football Head!"
"Should we help them unpack or…?" Phoebe stood watching her best friend be tickled to death by the love of her life. They really were the perfect pair.
"I think we should leave them alone. That's it bro! Show her who's boss!" Gerald teased as Helga was now on the floor, toppled over in laughter with a Smiling Arnold Shortman over her, tickling her and putting her at his mercy.
"I'm Gonna- I'm- I'm Gonna Ki-Kill You Foot-Football He-Head! You T-Too HairB-Boy!"
Gerald only laughed, wrapped an arm around Phoebe and left the giggling engaged couple to move into their new home.
"If that's how she acts about her poetry, I wonder what she'll be like giving birth!"
"For Arnold's sake- lets hope it doesn't have his head!"