Coat-Hanger Abortion
A Pokemon Fanfiction
By: Neckties
Hey you! Whatcha up to? Cool, that sucks, where are all your friends? Yeah my friends left me alone because I'm a total outcast too. Doesn't really matter, we have porn and video games, am I right? Of course, just wankin' it and watching people pretend they're happy with what they're doing, the fake orgasms and the self-loathing are pretty easy to spot. Anyways lets get your dull Pokemon adventure started!
Chapter 1: The Only Chapter
You're awake, cool! Let's go catch a pokemon! Pitter-patter-pitter-patter. That's the sound you make when you're rushing down the hallway from your college dorm, apartment, or where ever you live. Cha-chaaan~ That's the sun, shining brightly on your pajamas because you forgot to change, dumbass. Well, we're not going back so might as well go! Luckily for convenience, you sleep with a few pokeballs between your legs for some odd reason, and I'm not gonna go further into it, you do what you want, that's what you like, I don't need to know anymore.
Russle-russle. Oh my Arceus! That might be a pokemon! Get in there and confront it! It's a strong looking Cubone! You charge in screaming at the top of your lungs. What? You don't have a pokemon of your own? So? Beat it with your bare hands, how do you think people who don't have pokemon get pokemon? Not everyone have a professor that just gives them a pokemon. There's a broken off tree branch right there! Pick it up and beat the living shit out of that Cubone! Raaah Oh snap! Get out the way! It's swinging it's bone frantically! SWOOSH! Nice dodge- is what I would have said, but your shattered kneecap tells me otherwise. You fall to the ground with a thud, clutching your knee, and clenching your teeth in pain. Looks painful, you should probably crawl away. Booooone. Thugs and Harmony, ha, just joking, but seriously, I would probably kick it with my good leg and then throw a pokeball at it. You kick the cubone back with all your might and follow up with a pokeball. The Cubone swings its bone club and knocks it back to you. Welp, you're fucked. Thanks to the Game Theorist, humans are pokemon, and that's a pokeball. I'd say you're pretty injured. Good luck buddy. You are enveloped by a flash of light, your corporeal body is reduced to pure essence, the pain in your knee is gone. Bi-bon-bi-bon-bi-bon... You struggle with all you have, but you feel exhausted despite not having a material body...
~Click~