"Snape," repeated McGonagall faintly, falling into the chair. "We all wondered ... but he trusted ... always ... Snape ... I can't believe it ..." "Snape was a highly accomplished Occlumens," said Lupin, his voice uncharacteristically harsh.
Harry wondered why Remus sounded so upset by the news. I mean, Harry had spent the year telling everyone that Malfoy and Snape had been up to something together, and so why would the news come as such a surprise to him? What Harry didn't know, was Lupin was no longer with them. In his body, he was. But in his mind, he was far away, going back to a time a few weeks ago, when Severus stopped him on the corridor as he made his way out of the school.
Remus had been walking down the corridor beside the staffroom, when Professor Snape came out. Remus had to do a double take. I mean, Severus had always been pale and thin, not unlike Remus, but this, this was horrific. He looked terrified, and sick. Stopping, Remus walked over to Severus who forced a small smile on his face, "Here with the Order?" Severus asked him. Even his voice had changed, where there used to be signs of anger, there was now sadness. The cold harsh voice that Severus usually used when talking to Remus, ever since he had gotten the Defence Against the Dark Arts job, was replaced with a hopeless, uncaring manner. "Yes," Remus answered, absent minded. He was more worried about what was happening that could have made Severus look the way he did. "You got the job, didn't you?" Remus asked him. With a small sneer, Severus answered, "Yeah..." he looked as though he wanted to say more, but he didn't, and Remus did not pressure him to do so. Remus wondered if, as the job was indeed, cursed, if this was the cause of Severus' illness. "I'm not going to lie to you, you look..." Remus trailed off, unsure what word was bad enough, yet still polite enough, to describe the pale withered man before him.
"Remus, there's something I must say," Severus said, cutting him off; it looked as though all his effort went into being able to say that, as he stood by the staffroom door, now leaning against the wall. "What is it?" Remus said, trying to usher Severus back inside, so he could sit down, Severus shook his head, "Here. Now." Remus nodded. Severus looked over his shoulder, to check they were alone. As he did, Remus noticed faint scarring down Severus' neck. Before he could address the matter, Severus turned back and said, "I feel I have to say...sorry." Confused, Remus looked at Severus and tried to figure out what he meant. Avoiding looking at Remus, Severus went on, "You lost Sirius, and...I didn't really help." It did not sound as though Severus was feeling guilty, it sounded as though he was...sincerely sorry; sorry to have not done more. "Don't...there is no need for anyone to apologise, Severus," Remus wondered why Severus was saying this. Severus, who never showed any feelings, let alone apologise for the death of a man he loathed. "That is all, really, so...Goodbye," Severus said with a small nod. His eyes, looking as dull as ever, and even emptier as he turned away from Remus. Surprised, Remus said quietly, unsure if Severus would have even heard, "Goodbye." He wondered if Severus was ill, and maybe dying... But he dared not ask, for fear of making him even more ill, by prompting him to talk.
With a sigh, Remus turned back to the corridor and made his way down. His mind was full of questions; what was making Severus look so unwell? Why had he said Goodbye?
As he went back into the staffroom, Severus slid down the wall and sat at the floor. He winced as the wind stung against his scarred neck. Clutching at his left arm, which burned intensely, Severus went over in his mind his last meeting with the Dark Lord, in which he had been tortured most profoundly. He wondered what Remus had seen, what he looked like as Dumbledore's final day drew closer and closer, unbeknown to anyone but he and Dumbledore. How he imagined himself, was nowhere near as bad as he actually was.
The image of Severus would have haunted Remus forever; he lost countless night's sleep, puzzling over it.
As Remus recalled the encounter, he realised what it was that Severus must have been planning to do. He regretted having not forced the information out of Severus. He also realised that the scars must have been from when Voldemort tortured Severus for having not successfully finished off Dumbledore already. This made Remus a little gleeful. But then he realised that he had lost his old Headmaster. The only man on the Earth who would have allowed Remus, a werewolf, into a school, and he felt awful for having not been able to help Dumbledore. He also felt a little angry, because Dumbledore had trusted Snape, trusted him when no one else would have. And, it seemed, everyone else was right.
"He was the one that told Voldemort about the prophecy," Harry said, bringing Remus back to the present, "he sent Voldemort after my mum and dad, and then told Dumbledore he was sorry." As the invisible knife inside Remus twisted, he said, incredulous; "And Dumbledore believed that?" No one answered, and Remus sunk back to his thoughts once more. Wasn't there anyone he could trust?