Jehanna looked different without Grado soldiers overrunning it, climbing over each other in order to loot the villages and ransack what was left of the royal hall.
I'm sorry, Joshua thought, not sure whether he was apologizing to his mother or the country herself. It would take ages to even begin to repair the damage Grado had done, and for the first time Joshua found himself doubting he was up to the task. When his mother died, he'd accepted his duty without question; there was no time for questions or worries with everything else going on.
Now that it was all over, there was plenty of time for that. He glanced towards Natasha, asleep against his side, and was glad she couldn't see the destruction. It would make her weep, no question about it.
Can I do it? Can I be the kind of ruler Jehanna needs?
He felt a soft nudge at his arm, and looked to his side. Natasha was waking up; her eyes opened and she laid eyes on their surroundings and to his surprise, she smiled.
"We're home," she said.
"It's in ruins, just look at it. How the heck am I supposed to fix all of this when I haven't even taken the throne?" Joshua sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know, Natasha, am I really cut out to run a country?"
"Joshua." She reached up to lay a hand on his cheek. "Yes, you are. If you weren't, we wouldn't be here at all. Ask not whether you're cut out to mend and rule, but whether you want to."
"I do," he said, leaning in to press a kiss into her palm, "more than anything."
"Then you will." She pressed a brief kiss to his lips. "We will."