Sorceress of Shadows: WHOOO!
Link: Okay…that was kinda random.
Dark Link: No dip, Sherlock.
Sorceress: This is just a little humor oneshot my friend, to be known as Rink, created. He doesn't have a profile, so I'm posting this in his stead.
Link: If Sorceress owned Zelda, I would be puking my guts out right now.
Sorceress: Who's to say you won't?
Link: I said nothing.
The Reason Link Can't Be A Surgeon
"Pass me the forceps Link; I found the tumor," Head Surgeon Nick muttered.
Link picked up the tweezer-thingies that had miraculously formed on the mobile cart and held it above his head, grinning.
"Link…not this again," sighed Nick. Link paid no attention, and music-from-nowhere played, while a dialogue box appeared in front of him.
BA-DA-DA-DAAAH! You got the forceps! Hurry up and give them to Nick! These give you the power to remove tumors, foreign objects, and more! What an amazing device! Set it to x, y, or z! Press x, y, or z to pick things up, use the control stick to move them around, and press x, y, or z to set them down! Give these to Nick before the patient dies!
Too late.
"Great, Link. You let Ganondorf die a horrible, painful dea…" Nick stopped as Link preformed his infamous "Victory Dance."
"Link! This comes out of your paycheck!" Link sobered up, took out his ocarina, and played "The Song of Time," going seven minutes into the past and undoing the whole thing.
The same results were obtained the second time around, with the exception of Link's playing "The Song of Healing," thus turning Ganondorf into a mask.
"Link…" Nick said dangerously, his voice growing with every word, "You…are…so…FIRED!"
Unfortunately for Nick, Link decided it was Wind Waker Happy Hour, and played "The Ballad of the Gales."
And everyone knows that that particular song is cyclone-happy.
Everyone except for Nick, that is. And so he was, alas, woefully unprepared.
The cyclone ripped through the ER like…uh…um…a cyclone! Yeah! Link watched, a safe distance away, as the hospital and its inhabitants were blown into the distance, never to be heard from again. As he watched, Link thought evilly, Ha! Zelda owes me 2,000 rupees! I told her I could kill Ganondorf without the Master Sword!
And that, my friends, is why Link can never be a surgeon.
Link: Okay, I feel morbid.
Sorceress: Well, yeah, that was the idea.
Link: Do I get my 2,000 rupees?
Sorceress: Only if people review.
Link: (Already has sign saying "review, I'm broke") Reviews for the poor…