Devil May Care
(A/N: This is for Ori's 1999 word challenge. I hope it's not counted against me that it's a song-fic.)
He hated it. He hated that it composed over eighty percent of his body. He hated that Japan was surrounded by it. He hated that it was the reason he was kneeling in front of the first of three fresh graves he would be visiting that day. But most of all, he hated how it was trying to comfort him. He had his umbrella up to shield himself from its intrusion. It still snaked its way in to mingle with his tears. The roar of frustration didn't sound like it came from his body. With a vicious swipe, he rid himself of water trailing over his face.
"Just leave me alone." He was barely able to choke out the words. He cleared his throat. There. "You can't bring them back. You can't undo what you've done. Just go away." The rain stopped. It was the day Kigai Yuuto shed his last tear.
Wake up, medicate again. Ever after is a friend. And you and I, we get so high, we never quite came down. Ever after again.
Yuuto stared at the ceiling of his modest apartment. He had successfully suppressed the memory of the day he found out he was a "water master" for years. His lips twisted themselves into a self-depreciating smirk at the title. He remembered now, what happened to allow the floodgates of memory to open as he had slept.
It was his carelessness that gave it the opportunity to grasp him. The sight of Satsuki waiting for him at the fountain threw him off his guard. He was grateful that Satsuki was so little socialized that she could only repeat to him a variation of Kanoe's observation of her and computers.
"Water always seems to like you, Yuuto-san."
He barely registered her words at the time, turning his attention from her to glare at the hand the water formed to pull his left arm. It barely had time to apply pressure to his arm before Yuuto dispersed it and sent it swirling about him, a cruel smirk upon his face.
"You really are a water master." Satsuki parroted Kanoe again. Yuuto turned back to her, replacing the smirk with a patronizing grin. Yuuto decided it was her youth that made one as intelligent as Satsuki as easily fooled by his smile as everyone he met.
What could be more beautiful than you and I falling from grace?
All the things we'll never know, so beautiful they're slipping away
"Then why do you use other weapons?" That was the next logical question for Satsuki to ask. He gave her his usual line, "It takes too much concentration to control water." I hate it.
It was the silence that made Yuuto realize that something was very wrong. The looks of disbelief and horror on the faces of his teachers and classmates made him turn to see what was happening. He had the sense to keep his mouth closed as the tentacle of water snatched him from where he stood. As he struggled to get his head above the water, he felt the bursts of three bodies entering the pool to aid him. The water responded to their interference in differing ways. The two larger bodies were pulled under. Yuuto felt the water ripple against his side as it propelled the bodies into the wall of the pool. He's thankful that there is very little in the world to remind him of the sound wave that hit his ears them. The water pulled the smaller body away from Yuuto. A few swirls of red danced between Yuuto and the other body. This set them both into a panic. All four of them were thrown from the pool. To this day Yuuto doesn't know if it was him or if the water was fully to blame for the death of the only person unfortunate enough to have been considered his friend.
Light my past on fire. Spell it right in black and white. A coward's here for hire.
What could be more beautiful than you and I falling from grace?
All the things we'll never know, so beautiful they're slipping away
The only visitor he had during his brief stint in the hospital was a stranger. "Kigai Yuuto?" The stranger was an older man with graying hair. He held a grey fedora in both hands that matched the grey overcoat he wore. Yuuto tilted his head slightly to regard the man from his hospital bed before answering.
"Kigai-san, I am here to tell you about your destiny and the end of the world." Even at that young age, Yuuto had known that nothing good could come after those words.
It's beautiful slipping away
It's beautiful slipping away
"You look sad, Kigai-san," the stranger observed after he finished. He walked across the room and opened the door. "This is the true beginning of your life, your true purpose. You should be happy. Most people spend their lives trying to find their true purpose." He left, closing the door behind him.
"Lucky them," said Yuuto.
It's beautiful slipping away
It's beautiful slipping away
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" After his visit from the stranger in the hospital, Yuuto couldn't stand that question. Because it didn't matter what he wanted, now did it? He couldn't help but laugh at the shocked expressions on people's faces when he told them he was a government worker. He knew what they would say next. He had heard it so many times. They would look at him and shake their heads. He knew they thought he wasn't living up to his full potential. If they only knew. He had to admit, he was a little bitter when he thought they should be quite grateful that he truly wasn't living up to his potential. He was a Dragon of Earth. He was cursed with being a "water master" with the express purpose of destroying humankind. How lovely. That would look very impressive on a resume, no doubt.
It's time to pack up and vacate. I'm so fed up of closing up and running from myself
Yuuto was well aware that he was often the subject of conversation around the water-cooler - an object that he avoided at all costs. He strictly adhered to his "no office romance" rule. Actually, it was a "no romance at all" rule. Some, if they knew the whole story, might have thought this to be a very noble and selfless gesture. To spare those who might care for him suffering in the end. The truth of the matter was kindness had little to do with his decision. It was selfish when you came right down to it. After all, Yuuto reasoned, what was the point in getting too attached to someone, when they were all going to die pretty soon anyway? Despite this, Yuuto knew he had feign something resembling what others called a "life." And so Yuuto set about amassing acquaintances, but there was none in their number who knew much about him. The Dragons of Earth knew he was one of their members, yes. The Dragons of Heaven knew he was one of their foes, yes. But no one knew him. Not even the "Dark Kamui" who knew everyone's wish. This made perfect sense to Yuuto. He smiled as he recalled another of Satsuki's questions.
"What is it that you want?" To this question he gave an honest answer.
"Nothing."
What could be more beautiful than you and I falling from grace?
All the things we'll never know, so beautiful they're slipping away
It had been one of those rare occasions when he sought solace at a bar. The weight of his thoughts pressing down on his normally detached mind, he needed to be distracted. The bartender was more than happy to oblige. Yuuto knew better than to become intoxicated. He was ever alert to the danger such impairment might cause to himself or others. The bartender kept a nice stream of banter going and Yuuto felt comfortable enough to share some of his philosophy. The bartender laughed and declared that some might call his a "devil-may-care" attitude. This amused Yuuto so much that he left the bartender a larger tip than he originally planned. There were a number of stores between the bar and his apartment.
Yuuto opened the drawer of his nightstand and pulled out his impulse purchase. A soft smile played upon his lips as he twirled the devil horns idly in his hands. Devil may care? The devil horns slipped forgotten from his hands as his thoughts returned to that day in the cemetery. Yuuto laid his head back upon his pillow, eyes unseeing upon the ceiling.
What could be more beautiful than you and I falling from grace?
All the things we'll never know so beautiful slipping away
It was mere days after his release from the hospital. From the moment he stepped out of the hospital, it had started raining. It was as if the water had been waiting to pounce upon him once more. This wasn't a soft drizzle, it was a flash storm. Yuuto shivered with a mixture of rage, fear and repulsion as the element clung where it fell upon him. He fled back inside the hospital. He stood there in the corridor, dripping wet and seething. He wasn't sure what he was going to do, but screaming seemed as good an idea as any right at that moment. Then he heard the coo of a woman and turned to see a young nurse appraising his situation.
"Oh, you poor little thing!" She rushed away after that and Yuuto pondered whether it was more humiliating to be called a "poor little thing" or to be standing there drenched for all to see until she returned with a towel and umbrella.
"There!" The nurse was quite pleased with herself. "Now don't worry about returning the umbrella, it was unclaimed at the lost and found." She smiled down at him as dried himself off as best he could while clutching the umbrella for dear life. Yuuto thanked the nurse, opened the umbrella, took a deep breath, and stepped outside.
Yuuto knew he had missed the funerals. He was glad of that, he had no idea how people would react to his presence. He wasn't sure he was ready to find out, either. After the rain had stopped, Yuuto moved on to the next grave. He considered the things that the man who came to visit him said. He knew that he was what was called a Dragon of Earth, his destiny as the stranger had called it. Yuuto knew that the promised day of the end of the world would happen in the year 1999, the stranger had told him that too. He was called a water master. The man had said it like it was something special. Before, Yuuto really hadn't paid much attention to water and how he was surrounded by it. Now he could not help but be aware of it. Above and beyond everything, he believed that the day the stranger came to visit him at the hospital, was the day Kigai Yuuto died. There at the grave of the only person he had ever considered a friend, Kigai Yuuto officially joined the dead. He tossed the umbrella aside, he didn't need it anymore. The water he was supposed to be master of didn't matter anymore. He no longer had a past. He no longer had a future. There really was only now. And now he was no more. He turned his face up to the sky and laughed. Yes, he knew three things: The dead don't cry. The dead don't wish. The dead don't care.
Wake up, medicate again. Cause ever after is my friend.
(Alas, I fall short of the 1999 words, but I'd rather be a bit under than over. I hope this does Yuuto justice.BTW The song is Beautiful by Thornley)