Perry F.F. the Platypus was one of the best secret agents of the O.W.C.A. He always had a natural talent for defeating evil and bringing peace and justice to a world, ever since he was a hatchling. At first when he first become an agent he received all the small time nemeses. Major Monogram was shocked at how fast he would defeat them, quickly and without any sign of emotion, not giving any mercy to any of the nemeses or showing any act of compassion. So he was promoted. Again. Again. And again. Soon Perry went through 5 different nemeses, all stereotypical villains wearing either spandex or black capes. There was never really any color when it came to their wardrobe, and not a single one of those idiots matched Perry's skill. The platypus found himself a huge celebrity among the other agents.
Perry went through Huezenheim, Bluegoop, Dr. Whosenhouse, Gazeudieht, and Fishmonger. All were helpless to the extreme power that was Perry the Platypus. Anyone could understand his boredom when he received yet another promotion to a Dr. Heinz Doofensmirtz. He looked over the picture of his new nemesis in a bored fashion as he looked up to Major Monogram, "Agent P, this is your new nemesis, Dr. Doofenshmirtz. He isn't doing anything today so until then we'll give you a little bit of time to investigate some time. Be warned Agent P, this man is very evil, and extremely smart. Beware of yourself Agent P, even though he may act like-" and the screen turned to static. Perry stared at it for a moment or two, waiting for the major's intern to fix the communication between the two of them. However, it never came back. With a heavy sigh, Perry took his information on Doofenshmirtz and left the lair in his small platypus motorcycle.
It didn't take him long for Perry to find the evil scientist. He parked his vehicle in a secluded spot and hid behind a mailbox, watching as Doofenshmirtz got out of a picture taking place, admiring himself in the photo. Then his new nemesis turned and Perry ducked back behind the mailbox, not wanting to be seen. From across the street he heard Doofenshmirtz giggle a little to himself. "Hello? Mr. Platypus! Are you my new nemesis? I've had so many over the last few months I'm starting to lose track."
Is this guy serious? Perry thought as he turned slightly and again peeked from behind the mailbox. To his complete and utter astonishment, Doofenshmirtz was gone.
What in the?! Perry gasped in thought, eyes huge and wide in shock. He looked this way and that, only to find that his new nemesis had disappeared. What? How did he escape from me so easily?! How did-
"Hello there new nemesis."
Perry looked up in shock with huge eyes, meeting the irises of Doofenshmirtz, who smiled down at him brightly. He reached down and picked up Perry, holding him loosely with one arm as he carried the platypus to his large purple building. Perry looked up at it, grateful it would be easy to find the building whenever he was coming back for another mission. Perry recalled the tricky and evil trails he had to pass through every other day working as a nemesis for other villains. This one wasn't very big on subtlety was he?
The blue platypus struggled against Doof's grip all the way up to a floor near the top of the building. He knew Doof was probably planning to trap him or do something horrible to the city. He had to escape and defeat him!
His small heart began beating rapidly as he tried to get himself out of Doof's grip and Doofenshmirtz asked, "Why so squirmy Mr. Platypus it's not like I'm going to hurt you. I mean we just met. I know how to act when I have a guest in my apartment. And right now, you are my guest until we get this whole nemesis thing down." Finally Doof entered the apartment and placed Perry down, walking over to the living room, hanging the picture in a frame before turning to address the platypus. "So, why don't you introduce yourself Mr. Platypus?"
Perry continued to stare at him in what was either shock or complete disbelief. This guy? This was the guy he was supposed to defeat of evil? Seriously? Was this some kind of prank from Monogram? He hadn't failed or made a mistake on his last mission had he? No, he hadn't. It had gone super smoothly. So what was with the low villain promotion?
Doof was now standing in front of him with his hands on his hips looking down at the platypus. Perry looked up silently and held him a card. Doof took it and read, 'Perry F.F. The Platypus. Agent 33'. Doof looked up at Perry. "Perryff the Platypus?"
Perry shook his head silently and Doof corrected himself, "Perry the Platypus?"
Perry nodded once in confirmation and kept his hard glare of Doofenshmirtz, who pocketed the agent's card and offered politely, "Would you like to have a seat on the couch? It's quite comfortable," he told him.
The secret agent kept his hold on the Dr. Doof with his dark glare still on his face. Who is this guy? How can he be so, so casual? Doesn't he realize that we're enemies?
"Oh come on now Perry the Platypus. I have a day off today and I'm not doing anything particularly evil. Come, come sit down please I insist." Dr. Doof smiled convincingly at the platypus and Perry hesitantly went over and sat on the couch, watching his nemesis the entire time, not taking his eyes off of him.
"Would you like something to drink Perry the Platypus?" Doof called to him as he went to the kitchen. "We have water, milk, and oh my gosh I think I see orange juice over here!"
Perry shrugged, "How's water sound?" Doof called. Perry flickered his gaze in another direction for a moment before looking back at Doof. How was he supposed to communicate with him? Water sounded pretty good right now . . .
"Okay water it is then!" Doof said. Perry's eyes widened for a moment. His other nemeses wouldn't be able to tell a single thing what he said and their guesses would be completely off base. How did. . . ?
He wasn't given time to complete his thoughts and he was handed a cup of water. He took it and sniffed it for a moment, then lapped only a bit on his tongue while Doof drank away at his orange juice thirstily. He noticed his new nemesis not drinking and said casually, "There's no need to wonder if it's poisonous Perry the Platypus. I promise you I did not poison anything. Scout's honor." He held up one hand and wiped his mouth with his sleeve as he finished his own cup. "Go on Perry the Platypus."
Perry took a hesitant sip. Finding the water had not been poisoned, he drank more and soon the water was gone. He put the now empty cup on the table in front of him and Doof did the same, who crossed his legs over each other casually. "So how long have you been in the secret agent service Perry the Platypus?"
He shrugged. About five years.
"Around five?" Doof guessed. Shocked, Perry nodded once at him. How does he do that? Seriously it's freaking me out. "I haven't been a villain for long but they demoted my last nemesis, Frederick the Fish, when he accidentally got hit by my latest inator."
Inator? What the heck? Perry thought to himself.
"My inators are machines I build to take over the tri state area," Doof explained, as if hearing Perry's thoughts. This still confused Perry beyond belief. It irritated him. How could he guess his thoughts so easily? It was starting to infuriate him.
"Anyway," Dr. D said, "I'm not going to tell you much about myself since you'll learn that over our nemesis relationship don't you think?" Can you tell me a little bit about yourself?"
A little bit about me? No ones ever asked me that before. Perry shrugged his shoulders. As long as his answers didn't give out any information about the agency, it'd probably be okay.
"Good. Let's start with the basics. What's your favorite color?"
Perry pointed to himself.
"Teal? Or would that be turquoise?" Doof looked over him again, going for the simple answer. "Blue then."
Perry nodded.
"How old are you?"
Perry held up six of his fingers.
"Six? How old is that in human years? About . . .twenty five maybe?"
Perry again shrugged, and Doof smiled. "That's almost as old as I am! I'm twenty seven. Do you agents have to go to secret agent school?"
Perry nodded. That wasn't huge information about the agency. It was basic information. You can't just show up and be the perfect agent. It took time to do that. In fact it took Perry half a year to do it. It wasn't hard or anything. Defeat your nemesis and turn him in. That was it pretty much. But then your nemesis would escape and you'd have to go on a whole hunt to chase him and bring him down or he'd find you and you'd have to have an epic battle to defeat them again and put them back in jail, considering how evil they were.
Perry stayed with Dr. Doofenshmirtz for a few more hours and in those hours he determined something.
This guy was an idiot.
It must have been some prank, or a mistake at least. This couldn't be his new nemesis. He seemed level 1 average. A beginner villain for new secret agents who haven't had much time in the field. Carl must have made a mistake of some sort. This was ridiculous.
It was just dawning on Perry's mind that he should leave soon and report back to his lair when Doof said, "You should probably start heading back now shouldn't you?"
Perry nodded. Doof smiled and stood as Perry did. "Oh well then goodbye Perry the Platypus. I'll see you soon then." Perry nodded at him and turned to leave, going out the back door. He noticed on his way out when he glanced over his shoulder that Doof was smiling and waving to him with an absurd look on his face.
Yes, definitely an idiot.