I'll say right now-this was the most difficult fic to write. I threw out two drafts before this one, I added paragraphs and chopped others last minute. It's never been harder to get into Sheldon's mind-I think the more he acts like a stereotypical human, the harder it will be, because we don't know how much he's changing or exactly – although we have an idea – how he feels.

I don't own anything.

When Sheldon discovers Amy Farrah Fowler at his door, paying an unexpected visit, he senses a conflict on the way. They are about to go to the Comic Book store – it's New Comic Book Night, how can they not? – but Amy's never gone with them and he's not sure that she would want to. And it's not like he wants to turn her away – he's not rude.

He's also not surprised when Stuart begins to make conversation with Amy – and asking her, the woman at Sheldon's side, if she needs help with anything? Oh, please. – she is, as he tells Leonard later, a very interesting woman, intelligent, witty, and, by now, the free spirit that Sheldon himself is. He laughs off Leonard asking if Sheldon minded if Stuart asks Amy out. Did she not learn her lesson last year with Zack? Amy has no interest in a man who can't fulfill her intellectual needs.

Or…?

Sheldon doesn't know how to respond when Dale tells him that Amy is out with Stuart. For some reason he is thinking about Zack again, and when Leonard asks him if he is okay, he makes a remark that he feels sounds like something that he, Sheldon Cooper, would say. He has to speak quickly, because he's feeling several emotions right now, and he can only really name one – resentment. He's resenting Leonard, he's resenting Zack, and he's repulsed at the thought of Amy and Stuart having coffee together.

Did she really not learn last year that who she really wanted…Sheldon stopped himself before the thought completed. On the way home, he was able to name another emotion. At least in his head. He'd never admit it, not to Leonard, not to anyone. But he knew what it was.

Embarrassment. He had been fooling himself ever since that incident with Zack Johnson. Just because Amy walked away from him, Sheldon had believed that she'd continue to walk away from everyone, to never show another interest. He believed that she would always be leaving with him.

Maybe her comment after dropping his hand should have been an indicator.

He realizes after telling Howard, Raj, and Leonard that they are the ones obsessing over Amy and Stuart that the subject had been dropped prior to him opening his mouth. And then it hits him, like the asteroid hit the earth and wiped out the dinosaurs, that he was, in fact, obsessing over it. Stalking facebook, researching what percentage of people had sex on a second date…and realizing that he was jealous.

The third emotion.

Once again, he wonders why Amy strays from him so frequently.

He is intelligent.

He does not crave human contact.

He is everything that anyone could ever want. Why does Amy not seem to want that, too. He certainly wants her.

Sheldon is glad no one can read his thoughts. They'd have taken his previous one the wrong way. He didn't "want" Amy as Raj "wants" Bernadette, or as any conventional couples wants each other. But he wants to be beside her. He wants to be able to drop by unannounced and have her welcome him, as he did for her the night she met Stuart. (He needs to stop taking girls to the Comic Book store, Stuart always snatches them up.) He knows he can't tag along on dates, Leonard has made that very clear on a number of occasions. He doesn't want Amy to not be available to him whenever he wants to spend time with her.

He wonders if Amy is simply going out with Stuart to make him jealous. Well, two can play that game.

Penny picks up on his request immediately. He really needs to stop sharing Soft Kitty with people, everyone who has ever sang it to him has this odd insight to his thoughts and motivations. He hates that. Sheldon wants to tell Penny that it is the perfect plan, Amy idolizes her, and knowing that she was out with Sheldon would surely make her jealous. Very jealous. Certianly more jealous than Sheldon was of her and Stuart. Sheldon does not idolize Stuart. He loathes him.

"Think of this," Penny says to him, jolting him out of his attempts to figure out what she had instructed him to strap on, "say you and I go on that fake date. You'd never considered us doing that before Amy went out with Stuart, right?"

"Well, if we're spelling everything out, no," Sheldon admits. "Don't take offense, but I still say with your intellect and humor you should go out with Zack."

"I went out with Zack," Penny reminds him. "He's not smart enough for me."

"See?" Sheldon prompts. "You and Amy have the exact same opinion. Which is why us faking a relationship would make her green with envy."

Penny smiles. "You're orange with loneliness, aren't you?"

No, Sheldon still can't see that catching on.

"My point is," Penny continues, "you decided to do this, something you'd never before considered, because Amy is out with Stuart. What if she hears about this and decides she'd like to make you jealous, too? What if that actually drives her to sleep with Stuart when, leaving things as they are, she wouldn't just yet?"

"Just yet?" Sheldon says. "Are you saying she'll sleep with him?"

Penny hesitates. "I don't know. But you two aren't officially together, she can do whatever she wants."

Sheldon sighs. "Rats."

"Sheldon!"

He snaps out of his thoughts. "What?"

"You can do something about that," she tells him. "Make her yours."

"I don't want to be a 'boyfriend'," Sheldon says. "Boyfriends kiss, and boyfriends buy flowers, and boyfriends have intercourse. If Amy wants a boyfriend, she wants that, and, as you have already said, I'm not that guy."

"Amy's not like me." Penny puts her hands flat on the countertop. "Amy values you. You're not in an official relationship and she still hesitated before agreeing to go out with Stuart. And I wasn't there when this went down last year, but she walked away from Zack, right? God dammit, Sheldon, all she wants is to feel as valued as she is. And don't deny that you care about her. Leonard told me how afraid you were when you couldn't reach her the other week." She stepped around the counter. "Amy is not yours, Sheldon. But I guarantee that if she learns how you feel about her, she'd walk away from Stuart faster than she did Zack."

"Really?"

The word is out before Sheldon could censor the tone. Eager. Too eager. He composes himself. "Thank you, Penny, I...I see this conversation has ceased to be useful. Goodbye."

"Go get her, Physicist," she says, grinning.

Cow-dammit, he really needs to stop with the Soft Kitty. That has to be it-there's no way Penny just knows that he plans to crash Amy and Stuart's date the same way he did when she was the one going out with him.

Sheldon leaves Penny's apartment, thinking. He remembers last year, when he thought Amy wanted to remove the slashes in their Boy/Friend/Girl/Friend status. He remembers telling Leonard that he didn't want that level – he liked his level.

Do I still like this level? Sheldon decides that he does. He loves his level.

But am I okay that this level isn't enough for her anymore? Of course he wasn't. He didn't want Amy going out with another man.

"Why don't you just admit that you have feelings for Amy and you don't want her going out with another man?"

If the second part of the sentence Leonard had spoken is true, does that make the first part, by default, true as well?

Do I have feelings for Amy?

He thinks back over his millions of thoughts the past few days. He doesn't know the answer to that question. All he knows is no, he doesn't want Amy going out with Stuart. Or Leonard. Or Zack. Or anyone. He knows that while he isn't uneasy when he is with his other friends, not as a general rule, he feels more comfortable when he is around Amy. He likes being beside her. And when they aren't in communication, he worries to the point of agreeing to cuddle with her.

And he realizes that he's answered his own question.

Hope you all liked it! I love reviews-good ones-ones that prove you actually read the fic. :)