Droplets of dew seep through my thin shoe as I meander across the reaching blades of grass. They sway and bend to the almighty breeze that playfully tugs my hair. The air echoes in my ears. Bringing my tired eyes higher I observe the trees stand resolute in their everlasting reach for the warmest entity in the flux of nature. I understanding their longing, their endurance I crave, but I know I am weaker. The teasing breeze finds give in the surface of the reflecting element that sustains life. As I approach I follow the small ripples in the painting of purples, reds and oranges. The sun is seemingly setting just beyond the edge of this frigid haven.
I come to the rocky edge. The water grasps at me, smoothing over the rounded densities that hold me out of its reach. I close my eyes and feel the air whisper through the material that cloaks my beastliness. A deep intake of fresh air chills my lungs. Opening my eyes, I bend and slip off my shoes and roll my pant legs up to my knees. I give into the water's pleas. Gingerly I step in. I am welcomed quickly with an icy possessive embrace. I take a sharp breath in. Slowly I make it out until the water consumes half of my lower limbs. I shiver. Numbness settles in my toes and travels. I will it to find my heart.
My heart be damned. How can this feeling, notion be so elusive? Why does it evade me? Or is it just merely there to be so torturous? I seek it. How thoroughly I have sought its location. I read about it. I try to find the key to this mystery, but not even the ancient Greeks could solve the riddle. Their views were so vast and wide. We are no better today. Some don't believe in it, some disregard it, others are obsessed, and then there are those like me who just need it.
I sigh as my fingers rake through my loose tendrils of silkiness. I think I have found where it could rest, where this notion dwells for me. But do I dare to find if it is there for certain? Pandora's Box seems to be less disastrous. Am I willing to brave it all to fulfill that need? Am I strong enough to push through this masochistic task?
The colors seep away leaving darkness to accompany the frigidness of the water. Just as slowly I backtrack. Gathering my belongings I walk a short distance before lowering my small form into the moist bed of shadowed green. Lying back I throw my arms out and the grass succumbs to their weight. The cricket's rapid song holds the tempo to my thoughts. Lightening bugs flicker at random unlike my laden mind.
I can see her features in my mind as well as the stars that stare down at me. Like the stars her distance is great. Like the stars I can hardly change the light I shine. My eccentricities also be damned. If she cannot handle them how will she ever handle my truth? If my exterior makes her shy away I can only imagine what my interior will do. But I need her. How do I make her see what she has in me? How do I show her what it could be with me?
I toy a blade of slippery grass between my slim fingers. Like it we would have a sharp edge but be soft, be durable but giving. Our chemistry would be harmonious with all else that is natural. In us would be found an unknown dimension, one that is sought.
Sitting up I find the moon's sympathy lighting the surrounding existences. I slip my shoes back on and unroll my pant legs. Rising, I feel the extra bite of the sadistic breeze against my moist garments, pushing me. Turning my back upon the dark waters I amble through the bowing green soldiers that cover the earth. The trees rustle softly as I pass giving me strength. Here I will never say goodbye, here the notion I seek also exists in another form.