Title: Pain of Yesterday.
Rating: T
Pairings: Zhuge Dan x Wang Yuanji ; Sima Zhao x Wang Yuanji.
Genre: Tragedy, Angst, Drama, Romance.
Summery: They knew each-other quiet well when they were young. Growing up together, they had their feelings growing as well. But it wasn't meant to be.
-x-
To think that he would stand in this battlefield alone, hands clutched into fists. His outfit covered with blood. Not his own, though. His weapon laid next to him on the muddy floor. How could this have happened? He wondered. How could all this mess, the blood, the bodies, have happened?
It seemed like yesterday, when he, Zhuge Dan, sat in the chamber where the books were stored. And the beautiful Wang Yuanji would step inside the chamber to help him. It seemed like it was yesterday when he sat with her to study the arts of war. And they smiled together. Smiling … he doesn't remember the last time he smiled.
He fell on his knees, reaching out to touch the cheek of the woman they lay in front of him, eyes wide, but empty. Skin was now cold, her light blue outfit now drenched in her own blood, so was her long, silky, golden hair.
His lips shivered as he opened his mouth, trying to call out her name.
"Y-Yuanji?" His voice cracked as he spoke, but no answer. He shook her body, still calling her name. "Yuanji, I-I know you can hear me. I made a mistake again. Please, forgive me. See what I've done? S-See?" He closed his eyes, biting his lower lip.
"No, Yuanji…"
-x-x-x-x-
"No, Yuanji!" Said Zhuge Dan. Age 12, and a scowl drawn on his face. "I said no. I don't like to practice drawing."
A female, age 10, with a wide smile stood in front of him, holding a brush in hand and the ink in the other. Her blonde fringe covered her eyebrows but showed her wide honey eyes perfectly. Wang Yuanji tugged the end of Dan's robe, pouting.
"Come on, Zhuge Dan, I know you want to." She said enthusiastically, while pouncing up and down. The boy looked away, returning to the scroll he was reading, with a slight blush covering his cheeks. Dan shook his head once again, his brows connecting together while he was trying to concentrate on the words; Yuanji's pouncing and pleads were really distracting.
"Dan! Dan! Dan!" Yuanji chanted. Dan sighed, looking at her, with a look that said fine, let's go. Yuanji wrapped her arms around him, embracing him tightly and wore a smile that shone brighter than the sun. "Thank you, Dan!"
Soon, she was dragging him to her room, where a long parchment lay on the ground. Yuanji sat on the end where no ink and brush were placed, leaving the other end for Dan. She prepared everything, Dan thought. He sat down and held a brush. Yuanji already started drawing, and it seems that she started drawing herself. Dan sighed, dipped the brush in the ink and started drawing … a horse.
Little did he know, it's been a few hours since he first lay the brush on the parchment. He and Yuanji were now next to each-other, reaching the middle of the paper. Dan looked at the female next to him, while a smile rose on his face.
"Ah! Dan, we've filled the parchment!" she exclaimed. Zhuge Dan nodded, looking over her side of the paper. It seems that she was drawing herself with Dan, holding hands and what looked like a castle behind them. A horse was attempted. Dan tried not to laugh at the drawing but, he did, blushing. Yuanji pouted, hitting him in the head lightly. "Don't laugh. Look at what you've drawn."
She was right, his side was all… fans. Fans he wished he owned. But his drawings were horrible compared to hers. His face is now scarlet, he lowered his head in shame. But, Yuanji smiled, patting his back.
"It's alright, Dan. We both drew our dreams, right?"
Dan blinked a few time, analyzing the word dreams. Does that mean that she wanted to marry him? Could it be? He pondered for moments, while Yuanji started at him, frowning.
"Dan? Are you okay?" She asked, looking closely into his eyes. Dan blushed and looked at her again.
"Are you really dreaming of marrying me?" He asked, biting his lower lip afterwards. Yuanji blinked a few times then nodded, with no signs of hesitation. Dan blushed again.
"I won't marry anyone but you, Dan! I swear!" she said, crossing her heart with her finger, then held out her pinky. "Let's make a promise."
Dan's eyes winded a bit. "But making a … promise means that we wont back down. Are you sure…?"
Yuanji pouted, her eyes tearful. She hitched, covering her eyes. She was really crying. "D-Dan doesn't want to m-marry me?" her voice was cracking. Dan felt guilty. He kind of… broke her heart. He took her hand, entwining their pinkies together.
"Alright. I, Zhuge Dan, for the Zhuge family, promise with my life that I will marry you, Wang Yuanji, when it becomes legal." He said, with pride. Yuanji beamed at him, wrapping her arms around his body and chanting thank you, thank you, thank you.
-x-
Six years later, Dan was preparing to join the army. More reading, he thought. He was hoping to become the best officer by joining the Wei army. He heard that they offered the best services. But, Dan didn't really want to blend in though. He hated the crowds. Maybe if Yuanji joined?, he though. Maybe it'll be better. He was lost in thought. The thought of the girl who has grown into a beautiful woman, with shoulder length hair, and an attitude that became of a lady's. Dan was now smiling to himself. Every year, she would remind him that their promise is still going, which means he is still going to marry her.
Zhuge Dan shook his head, snapping back to reality. Dan drove his eyes towards the scroll. He tried hard to concentrate. His eyed every word carefully. Studying war history and tactics was quiet … difficult.
"Dan, I brought tea." Stepped Wang Yuanji, placing a tray with two cups and a tea-pot. "And I'm ready to study!" She exclaimed and poured tea in the two cups. Dan took a cup and sipped the tea. Relaxing as always.
"Why would you study? You're quiet smart." He smiled, setting the tea on the table and sighed. Yuanji smiled nervously, and her face paled.
"S-So I can be a good wife!" she said, with a fake, bright smile. Dan frowned, tilting his head. She was obviously lying about something. She never lied before. He didn't want to bother her, so he nodded, looking back to his scrolls.
Yuanji sat down and took a sip from her tea. Her face was pale, and her eyes narrowing towards anything but Zhuge Dan. She seemed to be hiding something from him, she avoided any conversation about anything except their studies.
Hours later, the sun went down, and the sky was left with a shade of pink. Yuanji's pale face was now tired. She was yawning. Dan noticed.
"You should go sleep, Yuanji." Suggested Dan. Yuanji shook her head, resting her chin in her palm. Of course, she would disagree with him. Dan sighed, getting up. "Then I shall leave you here, and go get some rest myself."
Yuanji nodded, looking over to her scroll. Dan exited the chamber, but stood outside. He heard a small thud, so he took a peek. He tried not to laugh; Yuanji's head was now on the table, her eyes closed, mouth open and she was snoring. Dan didn't know that she snored when she was tired. He sniggered and walked towards her room, taking a blanket and returned to the study chamber. Dan covered Yuanji, smiling. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.
Dan kept his doubts out of the way. He didn't want to trouble her with his investigation. Maybe she had her reasons for being pale. Not eating enough? Probably.
-x-
Zhuge Dan didn't quiet handle news well. Whether they were good or bad. He hated the day when he waited for news. When he was little, he waited for the arrival of his father. And he got the news that his father won't come back that day. He didn't handle it well. He actually raged at his mother. But, then Yuanji arrived, and became his friend. He was so happy he actually hugged her when she told him that she wanted to be his friend. After all, she was his first and still his only friend.
Zhuge Dan got the news a year later, the news that he'd finally joining the Wei army. He smiled brightly, running around and telling his family. He then rode his horse towards Yuanji's house, the smile never leaving his face. He burst in, throwing a quick hello at Yuanji's parents. For some reason they have tried to stop him from going to see her. He ignored them; he was too happy to stop.
Dan knocked on Yuanji's room. She opened the door, and he pulled her into a tight embrace, yelling I'm in! I'm in!. He didn't notice how Wang Yuanji's face was already full of tears. She sniffled, and he frowned. He let go of her, staring at her tearful face.
"Yuanji, what's wrong?"
The blonde couldn't speak. Her voice cracked whenever she wanted to explain her situation. Dan was scared that something has happened to her. He peeked inside her room, and found that she was packing her clothes. She is… leaving? He thought. But leaving for what?
"D-Dan, I tried… I tried telling you last year." She said, hands on his shoulder.
"… telling me what?" he asked, puzzled. Yuanji dragged him out of the house, and into their garden. She made him sit down, and she faced him, still crying.
"… D-Dan, about our promise…" she started, biting her lower lip. Dan nodded, his heart skipping a beat. This didn't sound pleasing at all.
"… I can't marry you." She said, looking at her feet, and tears falling on the ground. Yuanji didn't dare to look up and look at Dan.
As for Dan, his emotions collided. He felt his heart sink in his stomach while being shredded into a million pieces. His face paled and he could not speak for a few minutes. His mouth gaped open, his eyebrows nearly touching each other.
"I… I'm so-"
"Don't be!" He managed to blurt out, while giving a fake, small smile. He stood up and walked over to her, placing his hand on her shoulder. "Don't be sorry. The promise is just a childhood thing. Did you really take it seriously?"
Yuanji's teary eyes winded, staring at the male that stood in front of her.
"Let's sit down." He said, sitting down on the bench and pulling her next to him, embracing her.
"D-Dan, you-"
"Yuanji, you really are crying because you're not going to marry me? Ah, so foolish. It was just a stupid promise when he had when we were kids." He said, stroking the back of her head. "But, you kept remembering me about it. You were serious. Ah, you knew it wasn't meant to be."
Wang Yuanji felt her eyes dry from tears, she stopped crying, because she was shocked. All this time, Zhuge Dan wasn't actually going to marry her. She was just… dreaming about it?
"Yes, … I feel so stupid." Yuanji faked a laugh, wiping the remaining tears off of her face. Dan smiled, placing a kiss on her forehead. Yuanji went scarlet.
"Yuanji." Called Dan, with a slight smile on his face. "Go. Get married. Be happy."
The blonde could only smile.
And hour passed since they sat down. Neither of them spoke. Only the sound of their heartbeats filled their ears. Dan loosened his grip on Yuanji, turning to look at her. She turned to look at him as well.
"So, who are you marrying?" He asks. Yuanji smiled softly.
"Sima Zhao, of the Sima family."
Dan kept silent for a moment. When he thought of preventing her from getting married, he was utterly stupid to think of that. This is the Sima Family. Their father, Sima Yi is a famous strategist from Wei.
"Well, well, well. Looks like you're going to be famous, Yuanji." Dan finally said, smiling. His heart ached a bit.
Yuanji went silent, only a smile plastered on her face.
"Dan?" She said, placing a hand on his shoulder. He looked over at her, raising his eyebrows. Yuanji leaned closer, placing her lips on his. Dan's eyes winded. She didn't back away though, she kept kissing until he kissed back, stroking her cheek. Yuanji felt her eyes going teary once again, and her heart ached. She parted, looking into his eyes.
"… I… I made a mistake, right?" Said Zhuge Dan, his fingers tracing his lips as he stared at her. Yuanji nodded, tears falling.
"You and I, both, Dan. But I am the foolish one." She said, standing up and straightening her clothes, and wiped her tears with her sleeve. "… Farewell, Dan. It was the best years in my life."
And just like that, a day later, she left. The carriage took her, she was in her wedding outfit. Dan could see her beautiful face from the carriage window. She wore a beautiful smile. And in front of her sat her husband, Sima Zhao. He had tanned skin, puffed, athletic body and a wide idiotic grin. Zhuge Dan didn't like him. He didn't like him at all.
From that day, Zhuge Dan decided he would join the side of the Sima family, of Wei. He was going to keep a close eye on Sima Zhao. He was going to make sure he was treating Yuanji right. Zhuge Dan felt stupid, though.
-x-
"What are you doing here?" Asked Yuanji, placing her hands on her hips. She did not expect to see him in this part of the castle; this place shouldn't be entered by anyone expect the Sima family.
"… I was just… going to…" He murmured some lies. But, she shook her head. "I was going to have a small meeting with Lord Sima Shi." He said, his eyes narrowing away from hers. Yuanji blinked a few times, then sighed.
"Dan. I hate this. Don't follow me around, or some people might think that you and I are on a relationship." She said, while her eyes gave a pained look. Dan shook his head, smiling.
"Don't worry, I'm not following you around. It's just Zhao." He said, the smile fading and turning into a scowl. Yuanji gaped at him.
"You don't trust him, right?" She said, glaring. Dan felt rather stupid again. He turned on his heels and walked away.
"It's not like I don't trust him-" He said as he walked away. Then stopped, looking back. "I'm just making sure everything is okay."
-x-
Some years passed and Zhuge Dan felt like he was hating Zhao more and more everyday. He couldn't stand next to him without having to glare his eyeballs out. Zhao was so cool and does not appreciate any situation Dan explains to him. He couldn't handle how he shrugs at everything, and goes nah.
Dan couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't keep serving under that idiot. He wasn't thinking about Yuanji anymore. He was thinking about himself, and himself only.
Zhuge Dan began plotting his rebellion against Sima Zhao. Planning every move carefully in his chamber, alone. He wasn't seen for days. Yuanji was worried he might have ran away. Every time she knocked the door of his room, he would tell her to go away because he was busy.
-x-
The day came. Zhuge Dan rose in rebellion against the forces of Sima Zhao. He was proud of that achievement. Zhao was surprised, and raged all over the place, blaming Yuanji.
"He was your friend! Why didn't you stop him?"
Yuanji couldn't speak through her shock. She was silent all day. She ignored Zhao's raging shouts that echoed through the rooms of the castle. Wang Yuanji only kept silent.
Zhao prepared himself for the invasion. He placed the troops in the front of the castle, giving them an encouraging speech.
"Men, we may be facing an old ally, be now, he is an enemy." He shouted on the top of his lungs. Yuanji could hear him from her bedroom's windown.
"He is not worthy of out disappointment. Don't be afraid to kill him, men! Kill him for his foul crime!"
And the war started.
-x-
Killing Sima Zhao felt good, thought Zhuge Dan, while a smirked drew on his blooded face. He walked out of the palace, and the rain began pouring. Perfect.
The rain began washing the blood from his face.
Everything is perfect.
"Dan?" A voice, rather weak called behind him. "Dan…"
He turned and the smirk was gone.
"Why did you… do that, Dan?" Yuanji asked, her outfit drenched in blood, and a crimson trail dripping from her mouth. Dan kept silent, his face emotionless. She clutched the wound on her chest, and fell on the muddy earth, wincing in pain.
"For us." He finally said, not looking at her. "You'll be okay."
Yuanji smiled weakly. "Dan… I just made sure… that… you'll move on. You'll move on and lead an army…"
Dan looked back at her. "And you will join me, Yuanji." He beamed at her, a smile raising on his face. "We will have the most powerful army. So… what do you think?"
Yuanji shook her head weakly, smiling. "No, Dan. No…" And like that, her head fell on the muddy, bloody floor. And she stopped moving.
-x-x-x-x-
Zhuge Dan pulled her body closer, tears falling from his eyes. He was crying out, calling out her name.
"Yuanji! I'm sorry. Come back! Please, come back…!" He shouted, clutching her body. "Why don't you respond? Yuanjiiiiiiiiiiiii~!"
And his eyes went blank. He didn't speak. His eyes stopped flowing with tears. Letting god of the dead body, he stood up lazily, dragging himself away from the palace, towards an unknown place.
Zhuge Dan kept muttering things under his breath.
"I'm no one."
"I've lost you."
"It's over."
"I'll go home now."
"The rain will carry every thing to it's course."
"And, by tomorrow, I will be whole again."
-x-
First time posting anything for dynasty warriors, but not the first time writing for this fandom. You see, I love Dynasty Warriors like there's no tomorrow. I hope I captured Dan and Yuanji's characters right. Thank you for reading. :)