I was very disappointed earlier to find that there are only TWO (this is
#3) parodies on HDM so I wrote this. It sucks and makes absolutely no sense
but I would appreciate your comments anyway. Enjoy.
This is not going to be the first chapter of a story.just a scene that I, uh.played around with a bit..
Disclaimer: MUST I go through this again?
Random voice inside my head: Yeah. Fine. I own not HDM! Nor LOTR, nor HP. All the credit goes to JRR Tolkien, Philip Pullman, & JK Rowling.
I wrote this in French, & French is uh, coboringugh, never mind.
A Special Thanks to: My French teacher for being so oblivious to the fact that I was sitting in the front right under her nose, writing.
NO Thanks to: My French partner who is convinced I am writing plays.
Scene: Lyra in the wardrobe at Jordan, etc.
Lyra: Gosh, Pan. Why'd we have to hide in HERE?
Pan: YOU'RE the one who wanted to come!
Lyra: Shut up.
Lord Asriel: Who's there?
Lyra: Uh.no one. This is your inner conscience speaking. How may I help you?
Asriel: Oh. And, uh, no thanks. I don't need any help at the moment.
Lyra & Pan: snigger
Stelmaria: But I'M your inner conscience!
Asriel: But.but.I'm confused! sits down on the floor and begins to cry
The Master: comes in Assy, dear, wassa matter?
Asriel: I sniffs have TWO inner consciences and I don't know which to believe!
Master: What 2, uh.things are claiming to be your inner conscience?
Asriel: A voiceless body and Stelmaria.
Master: You mean a bodiless voice?
Asriel: Whatever.
Master: Ignore this other bo-, er, voice. Stelmaria is your inner conscience.
Asriel: Ok. gets up
Screenwipe, so to speak. You know what I mean. On to the Scholars talking. Lord Asriel has somehow escaped poisoning. Maybe he decided he wasn't going to drink anymore. Who knows.
Lyra: whining Pa-an, it smells in here!
Pan: Shut up, Lyra!
Lyra: But like, oh my GAWD, I like, canNOT believe that like, Roger actually like, like asked me out! I am like, like SO excited!
Pan: Lyra, shut your god-damned mouth!
Lyra: But like, I was like, thinking, Pan: mutters That's new.
Lyra: of what to like, wear on our first like, official date, and I thought, well, why don't I like, wear that new mini skirt I got? And I'm like, yeah Lyra, you should TOTALLY wear that, an-
Pan: Lyra, I know this already!
Lyra: How?
Pan: You freak I'm YOU! And shut up! bites her
Lyra: OW! Pan! I'm not talking to you!
Pan: You can hardly avoid it, but ok.
Lyra: telepathically I'll THINK to you! (says this in girly way)
Pan: rolls eyes Ok, Lyra.
Lyra: But isn't Roger like, SO like, HOT?
Librarian: Who's talking? It sounds like Lyra and Pantalaimon.
Asriel: proudly That's my fake inner conscience!
Librarian: Ok then.
Master: Are you sure?
Asriel: You don't believe me! starts to cry
He continues to cry, and is lead away, still crying, and the Scholars, who, apparently, AREN'T so scholarly, don't even bother to check the room for the source of the voices.
Hope you, uh, were at least slightly entertained! Anyhow, if you want more, review & tell me what scene I should do next.
This is not going to be the first chapter of a story.just a scene that I, uh.played around with a bit..
Disclaimer: MUST I go through this again?
Random voice inside my head: Yeah. Fine. I own not HDM! Nor LOTR, nor HP. All the credit goes to JRR Tolkien, Philip Pullman, & JK Rowling.
I wrote this in French, & French is uh, coboringugh, never mind.
A Special Thanks to: My French teacher for being so oblivious to the fact that I was sitting in the front right under her nose, writing.
NO Thanks to: My French partner who is convinced I am writing plays.
Scene: Lyra in the wardrobe at Jordan, etc.
Lyra: Gosh, Pan. Why'd we have to hide in HERE?
Pan: YOU'RE the one who wanted to come!
Lyra: Shut up.
Lord Asriel: Who's there?
Lyra: Uh.no one. This is your inner conscience speaking. How may I help you?
Asriel: Oh. And, uh, no thanks. I don't need any help at the moment.
Lyra & Pan: snigger
Stelmaria: But I'M your inner conscience!
Asriel: But.but.I'm confused! sits down on the floor and begins to cry
The Master: comes in Assy, dear, wassa matter?
Asriel: I sniffs have TWO inner consciences and I don't know which to believe!
Master: What 2, uh.things are claiming to be your inner conscience?
Asriel: A voiceless body and Stelmaria.
Master: You mean a bodiless voice?
Asriel: Whatever.
Master: Ignore this other bo-, er, voice. Stelmaria is your inner conscience.
Asriel: Ok. gets up
Screenwipe, so to speak. You know what I mean. On to the Scholars talking. Lord Asriel has somehow escaped poisoning. Maybe he decided he wasn't going to drink anymore. Who knows.
Lyra: whining Pa-an, it smells in here!
Pan: Shut up, Lyra!
Lyra: But like, oh my GAWD, I like, canNOT believe that like, Roger actually like, like asked me out! I am like, like SO excited!
Pan: Lyra, shut your god-damned mouth!
Lyra: But like, I was like, thinking, Pan: mutters That's new.
Lyra: of what to like, wear on our first like, official date, and I thought, well, why don't I like, wear that new mini skirt I got? And I'm like, yeah Lyra, you should TOTALLY wear that, an-
Pan: Lyra, I know this already!
Lyra: How?
Pan: You freak I'm YOU! And shut up! bites her
Lyra: OW! Pan! I'm not talking to you!
Pan: You can hardly avoid it, but ok.
Lyra: telepathically I'll THINK to you! (says this in girly way)
Pan: rolls eyes Ok, Lyra.
Lyra: But isn't Roger like, SO like, HOT?
Librarian: Who's talking? It sounds like Lyra and Pantalaimon.
Asriel: proudly That's my fake inner conscience!
Librarian: Ok then.
Master: Are you sure?
Asriel: You don't believe me! starts to cry
He continues to cry, and is lead away, still crying, and the Scholars, who, apparently, AREN'T so scholarly, don't even bother to check the room for the source of the voices.
Hope you, uh, were at least slightly entertained! Anyhow, if you want more, review & tell me what scene I should do next.