A/N: So… I've had the idea to write a religious story for a long time. I know on my profile it says that I can't do those, but I've been thinking about it and I decided that I, at least, wanted to give it a shot. Just to see what I could come up with. I think this will be the only one of it's kind though. So… please enjoy.
Written for: I-Am-Justice, formally known as: Iludehcaj, in order to save him from the aliens. Yeah… no one but he and I will get that, but that's okay!
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters within this story and I am in no way making any money off of this. Please do not sue me!
Title: Teach Me How To Pray For You
The wind whipped violently around the area, it seemed to scream past each person that dared walk the streets of the busy city and somehow found a way to even get into the cracks of the different buildings.
It was a mid-January storm, the wind whipped, the snow was tossed around like a doll in it's power, and there was hardly anyone outside… both because of the storm, and because the night had overtaken the land.
There was a loud bang as a large wood door closed; the sound reverberated around the other walls of the large room, practically empty inside.
It was a church, that Near had found himself brought to.
The entire inside was made of what looked like stone, the ceiling was high, and arched out in an elaborate way and had brilliant paintings painted on the roof. The entire room was filled with mainly empty pews, only one was occupied by a single person, who had their head down resting on the back of the pew in front of them. At the front there were grand candles that lit the entire room. In the background, there was a CD player off somewhere that filtered the sounds of classic, Catholic Latin songs, sung deeply by thick yet beautiful voices around the church.
Near walked further into the church as silently as he could, for he did not want to break the odd silence that filled the room.
He wasn't sure of exactly why he was here… his mind had just told him that this was the place that he needed to be. That he needed to at least sit in… and think about everything as they were now.
He sat down in one of the middle pews. There were soft noises of the other being directly across the aisle from him… but he didn't let his eyes look over that way, or think too much about it.
Instead, he looked forward to the front of the church, where a large cross was hung on the wall, with many different lights shining upon it's dark wood surface and yet it was still it still seemed harsh and uninviting.
Near wasn't sure what he was doing here… he had never been religious before… and, when he thought about it, this was the first time ever being inside of a church.
Near had never really believed in God before… how could he? There was no proof to say whether it was fact or pure fiction, and he did not believing things that were far too fiction.
But now… it seemed like the best option that he had. Back at the SPK, it had felt as though something had just been pulling at his very soul, telling him to go to a church. It told him that, even if he had no business at the church, to attend to… he still needed to go.
And there he sat, staring at the cross in the front of the room and listening to the sound of the music in the background. There seemed to be so much power within this one building, within the house of God, that no other place had.
'What am I supposed to do?' Near thought, looking down and fiddling with the ends of his white shirt sleeves with his nimble fingers. 'Am I supposed to pray? But how? And what do I pray for? If there is a God… would he even hear any prayers I said, considering the fact that I am not a devote believer?'
He continued to stare down at the fabric of his shirt and his hands that lay in his lap as he continued to think.
But all of a sudden, a harsh voice cut through the silence. "What the hell are you doing here?"
Near looked up, surprised, and over to the pew across the aisle from him.
And there he saw him. Mello was the only other person in this church, sitting across from him with a look in his glassy blue eyes that said he'd kill the younger genius in a matter of seconds.
But Near was too frozen to say anything. What were the chances that both he and Mello would choose the same church, out of the many in that city? Although, it didn't matter… because it had happened and now he only had a matter of moments to answer before Mello's anger exploded.
"I…" His voice faltered a bit, and he finally looked away since he really didn't know why he was here.
"Get out, Near!" Mello shouted, his voice made seemingly louder because of the way it echoed off the high walls.
Near made absolutely no movement to do so; instead he looked back up to where the cross was. "This is not your property, Mello, I have just as much right to be here as you do." He said calmly.
"No you don't!" He shouted again. "You're not religious, Near! You have no right to be here! Get out!"
Near looked over to him as he sat up; he noted on the way his hand was still clenched firmly around the cross at the end of his rosary. He fought back all of the questions that he had on his mind about the blonde.
Why was Mello here? Why had his head been down? What were the sounds from earlier? But he held everything back… Mello was already upset enough by Near's very presence for him to even dare to begin an pry into him.
Near heard the sound of Mello's sigh, and watched him turn back the way he had been before, letting his head rest on the pew in front of him.
"Why are you here, Near?" Mello asked; this time his voice was a lot quieter, and with dramatically less amount of anger present, in his tone.
Near still wasn't sure of the answer to this question. For him… he had just been willed to come to the religious place. But now he had to think about it and come to a conclusion… there was no way he could tell Mello such an answer, as the reality was.
He began to speak without really thinking about what he was saying. "It's going to end soon…" He stated, turning his gaze to look away. "Things are reaching their peak and will soon fall to the end. I am unsure of what the end will really bring; of whether things will work out or not."
"So you came because you just don't know, for once." Mello spat bitterly.
Near eyed him once before adjusting his look once again. "Not quite. I believe that religion has a way of controlling people with fear… that's how it's been in history. When something is bad… people run to the church in the hope of it saving them."
The younger genius took a deep breath, "Perhaps that is why I am here. Perhaps it is out of fear… or the hope of being saved while it's still possible." He was hardly sure what he was saying anymore. Wasn't his words contradicting everything that he had previously believed?
Mello turned to look at him once more, but Near's eyes stayed firmly set on the front of the room, and even though he could not see Mello watching him, he could feel it.
"So… you're not perfect." Mello stated.
At this, Near looked over.
"You think you know so much, Near. You act like you know everything, but you don't know shit. Your beliefs about religion are wrong. People go to it because it gives them something secure to hold on to. It gives them something to hope for, or to look to, or to believe in." He stated.
Near was silent as he watched the blonde.
"But you wouldn't understand that," Mello continued. "Because in your little head you think there can't be anything of such a magnitude only because there's no proof for you to touch. God, Near, you're so stupid." Mello sat up, looking ahead with narrowed eyes.
Near watched him from where he was while his mind processed everything the blonde had just said. Since Near was sitting on the left side of the room, and Mello was on the right, the majority of what Near could see of Mello's face was the burned side. And… for a moment, Near wondered if that still hurt him. It hadn't been that long since the explosion had happened.
He watched the way Mello's crystal blue eyes scanned the giant wooden cross up at the front of the room. There was a sense of annoyance in his eyes… but behind them… it was like he was speaking… whispering messages to any beings beyond their understanding that could be in the room; they were messages Near couldn't understand.
"Why are you here, Mello?" Near finally asked. However, immediately after he said it, he mentally scolded himself, he knew Mello would get defensive and resist answering his question. That was just how Mello was.
But, surprisingly, Mello sighed, "I'm trying to gain forgiveness." He stated in the same quiet voice he had had before.
Near looked confused, "Why?"
Mello's pools of blue were deep, and full of a hidden emotion, "Because… it's just like you said. Things are going to end soon. Kira is going to be brought down by one of us… but what's going to happen to whoever doesn't solve this case?"
The blue eyes flicked over to Near. "One of us is going to fail, Near. That's just how it has to be."
Near remained quiet for another long moment before he dared to speak again, "And you believe that you will be the one to fail, Mello?"
"No!" He said instantly. "I have everything planned out… just like you do. To me… everything seems perfect. But it might not go that way. And because I don't know what'll happen if it doesn't go right… I'm here asking for forgiveness."
Near had known Mello for a long time... for at least the greater majority of his life. He'd seen most of the emotions that Mello had, and registered how he reacted to different things. In a way… Near knew so much about Mello without the blonde even realizing that he did.
And in this case, Near could read past all of Mello's words, and all of the walls he was trying to use in order to hide the truth from him.
Mello didn't believe his own words. He probably didn't even think that he would make it out of his next plan of action. He'd said it himself… the end was near, and one of them was going to fail.
And Mello, while holding some confidence in whatever plan he had, still thought that it would be him to go.
Near wasn't sure what made him do it, or what in his thoughts said that it was a good idea, but they were like actions that he couldn't stop.
He stood up from where he had been, and crossed the aisle over to where Mello was. The entire time his incredulous eyes followed the albino, but he didn't say a word against it.
Near sat down beside him, and when their eyes met this time, Near could read more of the true emotion that was there. They were laced with the need to be strong, and confident, but there were little flecks of despair and longing within the green specks that laced the overall blue pools.
"Don't lie to me, Mello, I would just like to know the truth." He said simply, as though it was really no big deal.
"I am telling you the truth, you fucking brat!" Mello said louder as his eyes narrowed on the smaller body, but he still didn't move away.
'Lies…' Near thought to himself, but decided to let it drop. If he could get Mello to tell him more… that would be enough for him.
He finally broke the connection between their eyes to look down where Mello's gloved hand still held the cross at the end of his dark rosary.
His gentle, and nimble fingers reached forwards, hooking the beaded chain on his first finger and urging it closer –and out of Mello's merciless hold.
Mello hesitantly let it go, his confused blue eyes looking from his rosary to Near, but he remained silent –instead just watching.
Near brought the chain up closer to him, letting the cross lay in his palm while the index finger of his other hand ran over the almost mirror-like silver cross that hung at the bottom… he'd seen him wear it before, but only now did it seem to really hold a purpose.
It seemed as though Mello had held onto the thing in the hopes of it protecting him through every Hell that he'd experienced, to this point, in his life.
And… up until now… it seemed to have worked.
Near wouldn't be surprised if Mello was counting on it helping him again. But he had to wonder… how many times could one person ask for assistance without repayment before whatever was providing the protection came to collect?
"What are you doing?" Mello asked.
Near was silent for another moment, and didn't dare look at Mello before he posed a question of his own. "What were you doing when I came in here, Mello? I could hear something, but I didn't pay enough attention to catch it."
Mello was the one to take the silence now, Near's eyes trailed up the chain, then up to the blue orbs, watching them watching him with a confused look, but even more, now, the sense of sadness was beginning to push through.
"I was praying, Near." He finally stated.
"For forgiveness?"
Mello nodded.
"And why do you think you need to ask for assistance?" Near inquired.
"Because I've sinned, Near. I need forgiveness for my sins." Near took notice to the way it sounded like Mello was trying to teach it to him, like he was trying to bestow the knowledge onto him.
Near didn't dare ask about how he had sinned… he could already imagine everything… all the horrible things he'd done in the mafia… and even after it, there was probably many things that Mello regretted.
"Teach me to pray, Mello." Near requested. "Teach me how I should ask for my own forgiveness." He looked up to him.
Mello was obviously hesitant, and Near saw the slight twitch in his hand, as though he wanted to move it somewhere, but he was holding back. This made Near wonder.
"You don't need forgiveness, Near. You've hardly done anything wrong, ever. You're too perfect to need to ask for forgiveness."
"No one is perfect, Mello."
"Well you are, Near!" He said. "You've done nothing compared to me! You control people, that's the only thing wrong with you! I've done everything wrong. I've killed people, and coveted, and had sex with people I didn't know! Name anything, and I've probably done it once." He stated.
Through all of this, there was only one question now on Near's mind. He knew there should be more… but there was only one that he really wanted answered. "What did you covet, Mello? The want to be the next L? Then I would be guilty of that as well."
"No, you idiot." Mello's voice trailed off for a long moment. "I… I coveted you, Near. Forget L… that was just another token. That was hardly what I wanted. I wanted to have your mind, Near. I wanted to be able to impress you, and make you notice me!"
Near stopped, in shock, and looked at Mello; he was sure that the shock and confusion was lacing his eyes now. That hadn't been what he'd expected the blonde to say.
"I… don't know what to say." Near admitted.
All of a sudden, Mello's hands reached out and grabbed the front of Near's shirt and pulled the smaller body closer to him, their eyes locked… but Near couldn't read anything in Mello right now… which meant he was lost for whatever Mello was planning to do next.
"Good." He said. "Just don't say anything, Near."
And, then, before Near could think to retort with anything, Mello pulled him closer and pushed his lips against Near's.
The younger genius's eyes widened while Mello's slipped closed. This wasn't anything close to what he was expecting! And he had no way of understanding why Mello was doing this.
The blonde had a firm hold over Near, which meant he wasn't going to be able to pry him off, no matter how hard he tried. But… he felt his eyes closing, and he registered the taste of chocolate on Mello's soft lips.
He forced himself to relax into it, allowing Mello to take full control over this.
Mello placed small chaste kisses on his lips before beginning to deepen it, his tongue darting out to lick Near's bottom lip –begging for entry.
Near shivered at the feeling, and at all of these feelings and sensations that he'd never experienced before. He wasn't sure why he was allowing this to happen so easily… but he felt himself relax more naturally and his lips parted for Mello, only following him in this dance.
Mello's tongue massaged over his own and explored the entirety of his mouth. Near tried to follow, pushing back on Mello's tongue to gain access to the blonde's mouth better. But Mello wasn't letting this happen.
He licked over Near's tongue a few more times before he disconnected their lips and trailed his mouth down Near's neck.
He kissed fervently over the area, every once and a while nipping at the skin or letting his tongue trail over one of Near's veins. Near, on the other hand, bit his lip to keep every noise inside of him. His hands reached out, one gripping Mello's rosary and the other to his jacket.
Suddenly, Near felt the falter in Mello's action, they were more shaky then they had been before; even in the warm breaths that caressed his neck, there was a sense of falter in them.
Mello's tongue pressed to Near's neck, and trailed all the way up to his ear. "I'm a sinner… Near." He voiced breathlessly. There was a tone in his voice that Near had never heard in him before… what was it? A great deal of sadness… but… something more?
Mello then pulled back completely from Near. His blue eyes no longer meeting Near's, and as for the albino… he couldn't find any words that were right to be said.
The blonde moved further away, as though to stand up and leave. But Near needed to make him stay… if only for another moment longer. He needed to figure out what he had heard in him.
"Mello, teach me." He said, and it successfully made him freeze. "Teach me to pray."
Mello's eyes twitched back and forth as he looked at the pew in front of him, but obviously in thought.
After a long minute he looked over to Near, but didn't say anything. It was like his thoughts had suddenly moved over to Near, which made him need to see him once more.
Finally, he sighed and moved back closer to Near, "What do you want to pray for, Near?" He asked, his eyes moving down to his rosary as his fingers took it gently.
"Teach me how to pray for you."
Mello watched him carefully for a long time before he sighed again and took Near's hands and placed them together. "I would say…" He paused, thinking about it, "Lord Jesus, I'm sorry for my sins, I renounce Satan and all his works, and give you my life, and ask for your forgiveness. Amen."
Near saw the way Mello's eyes watched only his hands, which held Near's together. He exhaled softly and repeated, "Lord Jesus, Mello is sorry for his sins and renounces Satan and all of his works and gives you his life, and asks for your forgiveness. Amen."
Near's eyes had fallen closed as he repeated back the prayer, and they remained that way even after he'd finished and his words had trailed off.
Mello sighed, and leaned forward to him, pressing a soft kiss to Near's lips… remaining there only momentarily before he broke away and stood up to leave –Near's eyes could only slip open and watch now.
"I'll see you at the finish line, Near." Mello stated.
"Right…" Near said softly, still dazed from everything that had just happened.
Mello walked away, out of the line of pews and down the hall to the entrance… to leave again and leave Near alone and with so many questions flooding past him.
The loud door closed, signaling that the blonde was again gone, and Near was alone in the large, empty church… but this time he thought he had a bit more understanding of what he was doing here.
Near turned back to the front of the room to face the harshly-lit cross and put his hands together in the same way Mello had just showed him. He began to mentally repeat the prayer over and over again… partly to assist in making sure that it worked, and partly to make sure he remembered it.
-
It had hardly been a week later when Near sat in the SPK building with Gevanni and Rester, watching as a sudden disturbance happened at the New Year show that was going on –watching as Takada was taken.
Near knew instantly what was going on… he knew who was on the motorcycle, but he had difficulty trying to figure out what was going to happen next.
'Why did you have to intervene now?' Near thought to the man on the motorbike that sped away faster than the cameras could follow.
The other members of the SPK were trying to find some way to fix this, or at least watch to see what would happen… which is what Near tried to do.
He knew he had to keep his composure, and try to remedy the situation and the mistake that Mello was making… but at the same time it was like watching a train wreck happen… as he was unable to tear his eyes away from the monitor.
And then, what felt like only moments later… he watched, with wide, abysmal eyes as the church that they were supposed to be at was suddenly consumed in flames.
Near exhaled a small, ragged breath as he finally tore his eyes away from the screen and felt the way his heart began to hurt. Why? Because the only person he had was now gone? Because of the fatal mistake that should have been avoided? Or was there something more?
There was no way for his tumultuous mind to wade through all the thoughts and feelings to find the real answer.
So… instead he did the only thing he could think of.
His hands lightly, and most inconspicuously, pushed together and his eyes slipped closed. "Lord Jesus," He said a loud, and with a voice he knew was a bit more broken than he'd ever heard it before. "Mello is sorry for his sins and renounces Satan and all of his works and gives you his life… and asks for your forgiveness."
He let out a heavy breath, "Amen."
The End
A/N: So… I think that turned out pretty good. But… again, I don't think I'll be doing another story like this for a very long time… if ever. Alright… well… I'd like to thank my Mello… cause she's awesome, and allows me to use a lot of things of Mello that she's said, or hit on, that I'd never thought of before. I don't think this would have been the same without those little things so… I'm glad she gave permission.
Please review
-Forbiddensoul562