Song fic to the song "Cowgirls Don't Cry" by Brooks & Dunn, featuring Reba McEntire!!! I love her voice, and Kix Brooks and Ronnie Dunn's voices with hers are just awesome and totally perfect!!! ENJOY!!!
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Her daddy gave her her first pony
And taught her to ride
She climbed high in that saddle
Fell I don't know how many times
He taught her a lesson that she learned
Maybe a little too well
"Hey, Calleigh, get out here!"
"Coming Daddy!" A little 7 year old Calleigh said, bounding out of the house with her three brothers after her. She laughed, a light, pealing sound, and ran over to where her father stood. "What's up, Daddy?" She asked, looking up at him with her big green eyes. He smiled and crouched down to her height, putting Calleigh's cowboy hat on her head. She grinned at him, with her two front teeth missing. Her dad laughed and said,
"Look what I've got for you." He stood up, and took Calleigh's hand. She skipped alongside him to their barn, and then when he pushed the doors open, she squealed with delight and bolted over to a new horse that was standing in a stall.
"What's her name?" Calleigh demanded as she stroked the horse's coat.
"You get to name her, lambchop." Her father said, chuckling as he watched her.
"Let's name her Hope." Calleigh said decisively, and her dad smiled and nodded.
"Want to ride her?" Duke asked, and Calleigh immediately squealed,
"Yeah!"
"Thought so." Duke said to himself, and saddled Hope up for Calleigh, as Calleigh watched with awestruck eyes. Calleigh then hopped on Hope's back and Duke led them out. Hope began to walk around the paddock, with Duke following her. Calleigh was grinning and threw her hands in the air, waving at her mother and yelling,
"Mommy mommy, look at me!"
"I see you, angel, I see you!" Her mother Julie called out, and then Calleigh tumbled over Hope's back with a scream. Julie hopped the fence and began running toward Calleigh, but Duke held up a hand as he got to her. Julie stopped and Duke knelt by Calleigh, helping her stand up. While he checked to make sure she was okay, she began to cry.
Cowgirls don't cry
Ride baby ride
Lessons in life are gonna show you in time
Soon enough, you're gonna know why
It's gonna hurt every now and then
If you fall get back on again
Cowgirls don't cry
"Now, now, c'mon cowgirl, don't cry,"
"But it hurts!" Calleigh wailed, and Duke took her firmly by the shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes as he said firmly,
"Cowgirls don't cry." Calleigh fought against her tears, wiping them away and blinking them back. Duke said,
"C'mon, cowgirl, get back up, dust yourself off and let's ride, okay?"
Calleigh nodded and wiped her tears away, got up and brushed the dust off of her outfit. She blinked a few times again, and then stopped crying. Duke patted her gently on the back and stepped away. Calleigh got back on Hope and kept trying, and kept falling off, but she persevered and didn't cry, not once.
Calleigh Duquesne swore she would never let anyone see her cry again, never ever again. That is, if she could help it, and all the time she could.
Quite a few years later, Calleigh became a CSI Level 3, or Lieutenant Level. She had stuck to her vow, she had never let anyone see her cry, and not even when her co-worker and brother-figure Tim Speedle had been killed in the line of duty, and not when she witnessed her former boyfriend John Hagen kill himself right in her lab.
Especially not when she had been kidnapped or almost killed or her job put on the line, which happened quite a few times. Not even when she was accused of doing cocaine, though that got dangerously close.
And then one day, she got married to her long-time ATF agent boyfriend Jake Berkeley and became Calleigh Berkeley.
She grew up, she got married
It never was quite right
She wanted a house, a home and babies
He started coming home late at night
She didn't let him see it break her heart
She didn't let him see her fall apart
Calleigh thought she was beyond happy, but a few months after the wedding, she tried to get him to talk about getting a house and hinting at starting a family together. He blew her off every time she tried to talk to him about it, and then he started coming home late at night. Calleigh kept to her promise and vow, and never let him see her cry. He was breaking her heart slowly, every time he came home with alcohol on his breath was another punch to her heart, but she didn't show it.
She hid out at work most of the time, and managed to hide the fact that she was falling apart from all of her coworkers, which was a miracle in itself. She kept staying later and later at work, though, and Jake never came to see her at work anymore like he used to.
Finally, the team began to notice, but only did they actually believe anything was actually wrong when one morning Calleigh came in with red-rimmed eyes. She never looked anyone in the face when she came into the break room, and sat in her seat quietly, staring into her coffee cup. Alexx, Ryan, Natalia, Eric and Horatio were all kind of worried about her, and then Frank strode in. He sensed the tension in the air, and Horatio told him that they were worried about Calleigh, but weren't going to say anything for fear of setting her off. Then, her phone rang and she answered dully,
"Duquesne." Her voice got clipped as she said, "Yes, okay. I understand. Just let me know when, okay? Thanks. Yeah, bye." She hung up and saw everyone staring at her. "What, is my hair sticking up or something?" She asked quietly, but didn't meet anyone's gaze. She knew that they had heard her say "Duquesne" instead of "Berkeley" which had been what she had said since she married Jake. She heard footsteps and someone sat next to her on the couch.
"Is everything okay between you and Jake, Calleigh?" A soft voice said, a voice Calleigh knew to be Horatio Caine's voice. She stood up abruptly and looked straight into Horatio's concerned blue eyes.
"No. No, it's not okay. Actually, we are getting a divorce." She said acidly, and strode out before her threatening tears could get the best of her.
The team sat in silence for a moment, until Horatio said quietly, "Leave her alone, everyone. Let her cool down." They all nodded and got to work while Horatio went and broke his own command. He found Calleigh in the gun lab, staring at all the guns. He put his arm around her shoulders, and she turned to him, hugging him but refusing to cry. She was still sticking by her vow, no matter what.
"You'll be okay, Calleigh. We'll stand by you no matter what. You'll be okay." Horatio said quietly, and that was almost Calleigh undoing. She hugged him for a moment, and then held herself together until she was alone in her room that night.
'Cause cowgirls don't cry
Ride baby ride
Lessons in life are gonna show you in time
Soon enough, you're gonna know why
It's gonna hurt every now and then
If you fall get back on again
Cowgirls don't cry
A few months had passed, and Jake had left Miami after the divorce. Calleigh was happier now, and she smiled her 200 watt smile every day. One morning she walked into the break room and her cell phone rang almost automatically. She groaned, much to the amusement of Alexx, Horatio and Eric, who were in the break room. She glared at them as she answered,
"Duquesne."
"Oh, Calleigh, it's horrible!" A distraught voice said,
"Mom? It's okay, mom, just calm down and tell me what's wrong." Calleigh said soothingly, though a hint of bewilderment shone through.
"Oh, oh, okay." Her mother said, gulping some water down. "It's your dad, honey, you need to come home, now. And I mean ASAP." Calleigh sat down with her laptop and went to buy a ticket online.
"Okay, but what's wrong with him?"
"This, this is it, Calleigh, I'm positive."
"Is he…" Calleigh whispered, not accepting the truth.
"He's, he's dying, angel." Her mother said in a whisper. Calleigh froze and the phone slid through her fingers. She stared off into space, grief covering her face like a mask. Eric grabbed the phone and handed it to Horatio, who said,
"Ma'am?"
"Who, who is this?" Julie said, confusion leaking into her grief-stricken voice.
"My name is Horatio Caine, I'm Calleigh's colleague."
"Oh no! No! Kenwall! Get Calleigh back on the line, he's dying! He's dying now! He, he wants to tell her something, get her on the line!" Her mother yelled out hysterically, and Horatio tried to hand Calleigh the phone. She wouldn't take it, so he crouched right in front of her and looked her straight in the eyes as he said urgently,
"Calleigh, sweetheart, take the phone. This is your last chance to hear your father talk to you. You don't want to miss this, Calleigh, take the phone."
Phone rang early one morning
Her momma's voice, she'd been crying
Said "It's your dad, you need to come home"
"This is it, I think he's dying"
She laid the phone down by his head
Last words that he said,
Calleigh nodded numbly and took the phone with trembling hands. Alexx sat on her right while Horatio sat on her left. Eric pulled up a chair in front of her as she listened without speaking to whoever was talking to her on the phone. Horatio motioned for them to scoot back, to give her some space, and they all did.
"Daddy?" Calleigh said in a broken whisper. Her frame shivered quite a few times as she listened. Then she closed her eyes and stiffened.
"I love you too, Daddy." She said stiffly, quivering as she tried to hold back her emotions. She swallowed hard and let the phone slip out of her fingers. She bolted off the couch and dashed out the door, muttering, "I'm taking the day off." Horatio picked up the phone and said,
"Mrs. Duquesne, I truly am sorry for your loss." Horatio knew that Kenwall Duquesne had died, and that's why Calleigh had left.
"Thank, thank you, Lieutenant. Where's my baby?"
"She left, ma'am."
"What? Find her! You have to find her! If she's emotionally stressed from keeping her emotions under wraps like her fool of a father told her to do, she'll…" Julie couldn't finish the sentence as tears got the best of her voice.
"She'll what, Mrs. Duquesne?"
"She, she might try to hurt herself! When she was younger she tried to kill herself a few times, as she never showed any angry or hurt emotions, like Kenwall told her to do. God, he was such a loving fool!"
"All right, all right, I'll find her. That's a promise." Horatio said, and hung up. He tucked the phone in his pocket and strode out, going to find Calleigh.
He found her kneeling at the edge of the water at the beach as the tide rose, getting her wet. He crouched down next to her and said,
"Calleigh, why don't you move back, okay?" Calleigh recognized the voice, it was the voice he used with victims and to coax people off bridges and stuff like that.
"Mother told you, didn't she? About me trying to kill myself?" Horatio flinched at the words 'kill myself', but nodded. "She doesn't let anything go! That was such a long time ago, I barely remember it." She added with a vengeance, and Horatio just let her rant for a moment. When she was silent, he laid a hand on her shoulder and said quietly,
"You know, you should be grieving for you father, not keeping it all inside."
"I'm not most people, how would you know?" Calleigh said, but then realized the harshness of her words and said, "Oh, Horatio, I didn't mean that, I'm sorry, I meant that I can't."
"Why?"
"Because my father always told me that cowgirls don't cry. So, by not crying, this is a final gift to honor my father's memory." She said, still gazing out into the water. Horatio swallowed and stood up, offering his hand to her. Calleigh looked at his hand for a moment, and then took it. He pulled her to her feet and found that she was soaked and shivering. He put his coat around her and took her home, where she got changed. She sat on the couch and then Horatio sat down next to her, and said,
"Calleigh, what did your father say to you?" Calleigh sighed, and remembered what he had said.
"Cowgirl don't cry
Ride baby ride
Lessons in life show us all in time
Soon God lets you know why
If you fall get right back on
The good Lord calls everybody home
Cowgirl don't cry"
When she finished telling Horatio, the walls she had built around her emotions that held them back were shaking. Horatio wrapped his arm around her shoulders and as he whispered that it was going to be okay, the walls came crashing down, letting the pent-up emotions from all of her life come rushing out. Her frame wracked with sobs and she encircled his waist, needing something to hold onto so she didn't get drowned in her flood of emotions. She clung to him for dear life, and he let her cry it out, knowing that she needed it.
Calleigh now knew that it was okay to let yourself cry once in a while. Especially when you had Horatio Caine watching over you.
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End of this song fic! OMG, I just love this song so much!!! I especially love the version with Reba singing in it, and when she sings the last chorus by herself, she just totally rocks!!! The first time I heard this, I immediately thought of Calleigh, and her dad, and Jake, and Horatio, and this popped out of my head! Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it and adios!!!