"Toni." Pepper knocked through the glass doors of my lab. "Open up."
"Not now. I'm kinda busy." I called back as I continued tinkering with one of the weapons Fury had me working on.
"You've been busy for days. You need to come out."
That was true. It had been days. Four at least.
"Why?"
"Why?" She repeated incredulously. "Because you need to eat. You need to sleep. You need to shower. For goodness sake Toni you need a break."
"No what I need is for you, and everyone else, to leave me alone. I'm fine."
She could feel Peppers exasperation through the door but she chose to ignore it, as she continued pulling apart the electronics from the device.
"Why'd you let him get to you?" Her voice spoke softly through the door and I was glad I decided to darken out the lab windows or she would have seen me flinch.
"Who?" I asked even though we both knew who.
"Steve was being unreasonable. He was in a bad mood and said things that he shouldn't have."
"I know that. I heard him the first, second and seventh time he came to apologise."
It didn't change anything.
I'd work myself to the bone if I had to. No one would dare to even think I wasn't pulling my weight.
"The only person you're hurting by doing this Toni is yourself."
"Good, then I'll wallow in my self-destruction alone."
"What do we-"
"Thank you." I cut her off using equal parts of my 'this conversation is finished' and my 'you are dismissed' voice. I could just about see her hands ball in frustration but she said nothing. I heard her footsteps disappear and I was glad I was back to alone.
Mostly glad.
A little glad.
Not really glad at all.
That was the thing wasn't it? I hated being alone.
But I hated the public more and finding the balance was something I'd always struggled with.
Don't get me wrong. I loved people. I loved noise. I loved movement.
What I hated was opinions. And the public, was nothing if not one giant opinion just waiting to smother me in its overbearing sense of self-righteousness.
The situation sucked because I couldn't get the first without the latter and to be honest, I really needed the first.
It was a nice distraction from the constant buzzing of thoughts I couldn't shut off in my head.
Thoughts reminding me that I would never be good enough. I wasn't good enough for my father, I wasn't good enough for my teachers, I wasn't good enough for this country and apparently I'm not good enough for the fucking Avengers.
Considering we were all a bunch of mismatched failed experiments with anger issues, questionable morals and no sense of responsibility, I couldn't understand why I still needed to prove myself.
If Rogers and the rest of them were going to look down on me like everybody else, I was going to treat them like everybody else. My mask was going right back on, where it should have been from the start. I would smile, wave, damn well courtesy if I had to, but when it was all said and done, and when we were away from the prying eyes of the public, I'd haul up here with JARVIS -the only bloody thing I could trust- and it would be Avengers. Fucking. Who.
3 months earlier.
"I don't understand why the two of you can't get along." Pepper shook her head as she helped me put the finishing touches on my outfit.
"We've been over this." I rolled my eyes. "He's a stiff, insufferable, self-righteous pig. I don't understand how the two of you do get along."
"But he's not." Pepper argued. "You're only trying to find the worst in him."
"The worst in him is all there is to him. Stop trying to see things that aren't there Pepper."
I could feel her roll her eyes behind me, but being the gracious person I am, I chose to ignore it.
"Sit down." Pepper ordered and I took a seat on a stool placed in front of my mirror.
My hair was in rollers and Pepper starting yanking out the pins so she could remove them from my hair. I watched as my long hair fell down in dark waves.
"Remind me again how I ended up partners with Rogers?" I asked as she began combing my hair into place, her fingers working delicately yet efficiently.
Pepper really was a woman of all trades. Thank god too or I would look a nightmare when I left the house. I had no fashion sense to speak of, and knew nothing when it came to hair and make-up. Give me a car and spanner and I could work miracles, put a straightener in my hand and the miracle would be if I managed to not burn the house down. An analogy which, I'm not proud to admit is based more from past events then exaggeration.
"Because Steve never brings a date, and Fury doesn't like that."
"Yes, but why am I the one that has to go with him?"
"Because Fury said if he had to so much as look at another one of your male bimbos he was going to shoot someone, and I think we all know who his gun would be pointed at."
Apparently Rogers always showing up with no date was the only thing Fury found less annoying then my taste in men. I happened to think I had great taste in men. All good looking and all with such bad personalities I wouldn't feel bad dumping them at a drop of the hat. Which was something I did.
Often.
"If you're implying he means to shoot me, I'll stop you right there." I told her, "Everyone knows I'm Fury's favourite."
"If you're repeating what he said to you the other day, I definitely recall a 'least' being said before the word' favourite.'"
"You obviously have a faulty memory of what was said." I sniffed.
"And you're obviously delusional."
"Remember whose name is on your pay check." I threatened.
Pepper gave a hard yank at my hair and I tried to not wince. Then she continued combing it like she hadn't just viciously (and totally unprovoked, might I add) tried to scalp me.
"You did that on purpose." I glared at her refection in the mirror.
She just shrugged and smiled.
By the time Rogers had arrived, Pepper had already worked her magic and I was looking fabulous.
I was in a beautiful red dress that fit tight around the torso to accentuate my figure, before flowing effortless to the floor . It was modest at the front but low-cut at the back dipping to just above my tailbone.
That perfect mix between conservative and scandalous.
Steve was waiting on the couch as I entered the room; his back was to me so I cleared my throat to let him know I was there.
At the sound he stood up turning to face me and god why did he always look so good in a suit?
If I hadn't made it my life mission to forever hate the man, it would be fine. I wouldn't mind admiring his nicely fitted dress pants to his tailored white shirt that was tight enough I could see the outline of well-defined muscles underneath. I wouldn't mind admiring his broad shoulders and corded neck and his strong jaw, his full lips, his gorgeous blue eyes.
God I wouldn't mind any of that.
However I had, so getting all hot and bothered over him was not going to happen.
Instead I slid into my well learned 'cool and collected' persona.
Steve seemed to shuffle uncomfortably on his feet before he managed to force out a, "You look lovely."
A compliment I was happy to accept. I lived and breathed compliments. Not going to dwell on the fact it sounded like it was tortured out of him.
Instead I just raised my eyebrow before smirking, "I know."
"Shall we?" He gestured to the door choosing to ignore my arrogant attitude, something he did a lot. Whether it was annoying or amusing that he couldn't handle my upfront and blunt attitude, I wasn't sure.
I picked up my purse and made my way to the door and like always, Rogers held it open for me. I had to bite my lip so I wouldn't scream.
It wasn't fair.
No one should have a gentleman's personality and look like him.
If there was any justice in this world, he would be a six foot something walking mass of acne.
Instead look at him.
Oh well.
I choose to think of it as a test of my outstanding will power.
That even with how shallow I am -and lord knows I am a very very shallow person- I still manage to resist the draw of Rogers.