Hello all! Draconsis here, crazy person who normally stays in the Fushigi Yuugi section of the website. But I'll try my hand at a Yami no Matsuei, and we'll see what happens…

All reviews, flames, completely random notes done for the fun of typing and pressing buttons are accepted. Have fun!

DISCLAIMER: Now, if I owned Yami no Matsuei, this would have actually happened in a manga book that you would have to pay for. However, I am not the great Matsushita Yoko-sama, so you get to read the fic for free. BE HAPPY!

-=[Banana Split]=-

Chapter One

===========Featuring==========

Draconsis (Crazy fanfiction authoress)

Sansele (See above)

MelC (Poor friend of both above dragged into this.)

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(…) Descriptions

[…] Side notes

*…* Actions

It's a normal day in Meifu...as normal as any day can get.

Tsuzuki: (Kami-sama knows how many pastries there are in front of him) Banana layered cake, banana fritters, banana milkshake, banana meringue pie, and banana cream cake...WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!! *Tucks in*

Hisoka: (trying very hard not to go over and beat Tsuzuki's brains [Hisoka: What brains?] out) He's gone banana's over bananas...

Tatsumi: *walks in* Has anyone seen-

Tatsumi is simultaneously knocked over by three crazy, hentai, hyperactive fourteen-year-old god knows whats.

Draconsis: TATSUMI-CHANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN~~~~~~!

Sansele: TSUMI-CHAN! TSUMI-CHAN! TSUMI-CHAN!

Draconsis and Sansele promptly glomp a very annoyed Tatsumi.

MelC: YO! *Slaps his back*

And Tatsumi goes flyingggggggggg......

Tsuzuki: *starts laughing*

Sansele: *one hand on cheek* Mou, MelC-chan, be careful! We need him alive!

Draconsis: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *Points at Tsuzuki & Hisoka*

And all three of them prepare to glomp their fave Shikigami...

Tatsumi: *scary black flames around him* Thats. *Cracks knuckles* Enough.

All Three: *move away from him* Haiiiii.

Konoe: (Gone into shock) What are THEY doing here?!

Tatsumi: Kacho, as you know, this year it is EnMaCho's turn to organize the annual JuOhCho's company dinner.

Tsuzuki: Dinnerrrrrrrrrrrr...*starry eyes*

Hisoka: Incurable.

Tatsumi: *Death glare*

Tsuzuki, Hisoka: *Shut up*

Tatsumi: Due to the fact that Watari-

And on cue, a loud BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM comes from the laboratory section of the building.

All: *Sweatdrop*

Tatsumi: As I was saying, Watari-kun is currently tied up doing certain...experiments, and I am busy redoing our estimate of certain damages...*Death glare at Tsuzuki*

Tsuzuki: *Turns into a dog and goes off to hide in a corner*

Tatsumi: Plus, we wouldn't dream of imposing this task onto our Kacho [sarcasm will get you anywhere]...

Konoe: *Nod nod*

Tsuzuki: Ne, what about Hisoka and me?

Hisoka: You think he'll leave it to you?

Tsuzuki: Why not?

Tatsumi: This is the reason why. *Dumps previous damage report onto Tsuzuki's desk. [Thickness: roughly a foot]*

Tsuzuki: Ehehhehehhehe...

Hisoka: *Rolls eyes*

Tatsumi: Plus, Kurosaki-kun will need to keep both eyes on Tsuzuki to make sure that he does not cause further damage...

Tsuzuki: *Turns into a dog and hides under desk*

Tatsumi: And the other Shinigami are all currently on cases. Therefore, I had to hire these three to do the job. *Vein pop*

Konoe: Won't this add to our budget?

Tatsumi: Well, no actually. They're doing it for free...

Draconsis: *Busy taking photos of Hisoka*

Hisoka: *Inches away* *Gives Draconsis a weird look*

Arrow pointing to Draconsis: Hisoka Fangirl

Tatsumi: Provided they're allowed access to everywhere, and can do anything to anybody, provided it does not leave grievous lasting physical or emotional scars.

All three: *Innocent look*

Konoe: But you had to pick them.

Tatsumi: A certain Muraki Kazutaka also offered to do it for Tsuzuki's body...

Tsuzuki: *Face crumples*

Tatsumi: But it would distract Tsuzuki from all the paperwork he needs to do...*Death glare*

Tsuzuki: Ehehhehe...*Picks up pen*

Tatsumi: So they were the best option.

Konoe: But the worst choice.

Tatsumi: Sadly, yes.

Hisoka: *Is squished up into a corner where Draconsis is still taking pictures*

Arrow pointing to Draconsis: Major Hisoka Fangirl

Draconsis: *Crazy, hentai smile* Ne, Hisoka, could you smile a bit? Pleaseeeeeeee...

Hisoka: *Contemplating whether he should run for it, ask for help, or just blast her to smithereens*

Sansele and MelC meanwhile, are going through Tatsumi's desk...

Sansele: One packet of mentos mints.

MelC: Check. *Takes photo of said object*

Tatsumi: What. Are. You. Two. Doing.

Sansele: Gathering information about you to sell on the otaku black market for millions and millions of dollars!!!! *Crazy laugh*

Tatsumi: *Scary black flames erupt from behind him*

MelC: Er, you get a percentage of the profits though.

Tatsumi: Oh. *Raises eyebrow* How much?

MelC: Say, 25%?

Tatsumi: Okay. What about that? *Points to Draconsis and Hisoka*

Draconsis: *Continues snapping away* 30%!

Tatsumi: *Holds out hand* Nice to do business with all of you. *Shakes hands with Draconsis, Sansele and MelC*

Hisoka: *stricken look*

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That's all for right now minna, and remember, REVIEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!