Title: 'Prison Break'
Author: Hellcat
Author's Notes: I'm really really sorry. PWP. Also I'm sorry for any stereotypes that I inadvertently
on purpose used in the making of this fic. I'm really
sorry. Oh and this is the sequel to 'Street Crawlers'.
Warning: The language content and some references in this fic aren't suitable for kids... Well not really suitable
for anyone unless you've got a damn good sense of humor.
Disclaimer: All characters in this don't belong to me unfortunately. I
think they belong to some bloke over at Toei Animation. Don't sue – I can't
afford it.
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Hacuba - impounded for being an unlicensed road vehicle.
Yakumo - imprisoned for preaching on a street without the right permit.
Mushra - imprisoned for impersonating a Queen.
Kutal - imprisoned for solicitation.
Sago - imprisoned for being a lunatic.
Yes, it's the sequel you never wanted to read but are anyway. The gang thought the bad guys were trouble but now they're royally fucked.
They're in jail.
Yes...
It's time for 'Prison Break!'
[insert favorite music score here - pick your own, I'm not gonna do it for ya. Screw that!]
It had been a wonderful time over the past two weeks. They had met new, interesting, fun, violent Enterrans and still hadn't discovered the whereabouts of Shinzo - but Yakumo believed they were close so it was ok.
Life was good... Then Hacuba needed fuel and it wasn't that good after that.
"Yakumo, I need to stop and refuel somewhere."
The Human stared blankly at the robot head that had turned to face her. It was one of those days again, Hacuba concluded after they had been staring at each other for about ten minutes. She was either too hot to comprehend anything that was said to her or she'd been inhaling petrol fumes again and was having "visions" of death, decay and destruction.
He really hoped it was heat-stroke, her so-called visions were beginning to creep even him out and his logic processor couldn't take any more of her outbursts.
"Petrol." he said again.
She cocked an eyebrow and went back to her book she was writing, 'Shinzo and Why I Should Be Proclaimed God'. It was a rather nifty manifesto for the soon-to-be benevolent dictator, if they ever got to Shinzo.
Hacuba looked at the other three they were travelling with. Out of the pimp, the prostitute and the drag queen he figured none of them were his best bet but as there was no-one else around he might as well use what he had.
"Mushra, I need fuel."
"That's nice Hacuba, what do you think of this shade of lipstick? I think I look cute but Kutal said it makes my ass look big."
"And what the hell do you need fuel for? Can't you just draw your energy from the land instead of complaining? You've done it before, do it now!" snapped the large cat in the orange and purple suit.
"It takes too much time and energy." replied the robot. "Plus there is a town nearby."
Three minds went to work. One established the fact that yes he could in fact get extra food by impersonating a Queen, the next worked out that he could make some extra cash by doing less than legal activities and finally the last decided that he could find a psychiatrist.
"Where?" they chorused happily, two filled with a little more evil intent than the other.
"A little to the North."
At this point Yakumo looked up. "We can't go North," she snapped, "Shinzo is in the West!"
"I need fuel."
"But..."
"You can enlist more into your cause!" announced Mushra happily as he had two thoughts that correlated rather well together.
Plus the fact he really wanted some form of cake. Aah cake, the food of the Gods and quite possibly the people of Shinzo if what Yakumo said was true.
"Mushra you're drooling."
"Uh right... Um..." He really couldn't put words into coherency so he did what he was really good at.
Standing with one hand behind his head, laughing for a minute before bursting into song.
"Will you quit with the Barbara Striesand!"
"Right."
Yakumo meanwhile had been pondering the words of her young compatriot very carefully. More followers were a good thing, the sadistic side of her brain which could defeat-evil-forces-with-a-single-thought-as-soon-as-she-figured-out-how-to-turn-it-on said. The little puritant side of her shared the same sentiments.
It was settled.
"Onwards!" she announced. "To the North!"
For each member of this private little circus it was like a private little party had been thrown. There was much singing, dancing and boozing. While each were drawn into their own separate non-reality parties Hacuba led the journey North. They arrived half an hour later, which was lucky because Hacuba was ready to keel over.
"Welcome to Hellish Existence." bellowed a large guard as they neared the gates. "May you enjoy your stay and not step over the boundaries of the law. Here is a helpful pamphlet to let you know the laws of our society."
As soon as they were inside the unusually spotless town they hastily rid themselves of the offending literature. As if they didn't know how to behave themselves, each scoffed inwardly. They could kick ass with the best of them and they'd be damned if anyone would take away their individual rights (or in Yakumo's case, divine right) to get their freak on.
Taking a look around they came to the unanimous decision that splitting up was a good idea.
They left each other with insincere goodbye's and crocodile tear hugs and finally departed company after a guard turned up and nearly arrested them for having an orgy in the streets - they of course vehemently denying the charges.
Yakumo went to the West-side in order to find gullible patrons that would donate large amounts of money to the WWFH (the World-Wide Fund for Humans) and her Shinzo Cult, Kutal went to the South-side because everyone knows that the Southern region on anywhere is always the dodgiest, Mushra went to the East-side because he thought the theatre district was there and plus the fact no-one else wanted him to follow them, and Sago disappeared into the North-side because it was the business centre.
Hacuba was left in the centre of the city to find fuel and then hopefully a bar which would serve robot-familars-who-should-be-on-medication-but-aren't-because-they-like-the-taste-of-tequilla-oil-shooters in order to get thoroughly smashed and hopefully laid (hey don't ask me, even robots need crazy monkey love).
~
Yakumo had drawn quite a crowd with her sermon about love, peace and the quiet undertones of "I could do quite a better job at leading you into the next revolution."
The last part confusing quite a few because nobody actually knew or had heard anything about an uprising. Most were there in fact to look at the crazy-chick from the circus even though a circus hadn't officially been announced.
"We are as one, my brothers and sisters. We are united together as warriors for peace!"
There was a pregnant pause as she waited for her newly acquired band of followers to say something.
"Isn't that a bit contradicting?"
"Umm, hallelujah?"
Satisfied, but oblivious to what was actually being said, Yakumo continued to preach until she was interrupted by several wailing sirens and a numerous amount of fire arms pointed at her. Before she could say "Welcome officers to this meeting of peace." she found herself under arrest for unlicensed preaching of a nondescript religion.
Faster then you could say, "Dude, where's my bra?" (*cough* very funny of course if you can actually work it into a everyday conversation - not that I've done that of course... Hehehe *coughs*), Yakumo was whisked away to a prison where a large man named Bubba asked if she was friends with Sago to which she replied yes and then he asked if Sago needed a new bitch to which Yakumo said she didn't know but she'd make a point of asking.
What with the new members following her and the new friend she'd made in jail, all and all it seemed like a perfect day. Who needed freedom when you had friends like this?
I mean, honestly!
~
The gang was waiting with a rather inebriated robot (who was having a argument with the toilet, whom he swore was giving him lip about being nothing more than a Human waste-bucket) when Yakumo was unceremoniously thrown into the cell.
The bump she received not changing happy vacant expression she wore upon her face.
After establishing why Yakumo was in jail, Kutal began to explain what terrible fates had befallen the rest of them.
"And so basically they put Mushra in here because he was trying to pass himself off as a famous Queen, Hacuba's in here because you haven't registered him you stupid bint and Sago's in here because some doctor wants to have him committed."
"I am NOT insane!" yelled Sago. "You're all out to get me!"
"Ignore him." replied Kutal. "The sedatives will kick in anytime soon and it's not like he can do anything in the straight-jacket anyway."
Kutal's words rang true when Sago did fall asleep with the occasional mutterings of "Noooo! Mommy!" and "Darn robots!"
"Pray tell Kutal, why are you in here?" Yakumo asked.
Adamantly refusing to pray, Kutal finally mentioned that there may have been a slight miscommunication between him and the police force and that there was in fact nothing involving, but pure speculation, about the three women's services he'd try to sell and if anyone said anything different there'd be hell to pay.
Three days later (enough time for Hacuba to start and finish the twelve-step programme and for Sago's "happy" pills to kick in) the gang were sent before a judge who decided that they would be released into the care of one Ryuma, Lord of the Reptiles in the hopes that they would each clean up their acts and become productive citizens of Enterra Society.
Happy with this decision, they went calmly on their way (except for Sago who was screaming about it all being a robotic conspiracy until Mushra hit him over the head with a conveniently placed brick in his Gucci handbag - which caused Sago to lapse into unconsciousness, for which everyone was very grateful for) to search for Ryuma and their salvation (which Yakumo still swore was her).
I think you know how the story goes...
