I know, I know...told you all I would be taking a break for a few weeks – but I love writing far too much so here we are! (But, you will have to bear with me as I don't think this one will be updated as fast as the others!)

So, this is a new concept from yours truly, ever since Black and White finished I have been sat in silence trying to think of something else to write about. Figured I would try something new and rather out there...

Basically a little light hearted fan fiction that starts off slow and builds up into something hopefully amazing! Healthy dose of angst just for good measure of course...

Got the idea for this one whilst re-watching series four, title comes from the song of the same name, (Sweet Disposition – by Temper Trap) that is played whilst Emily is half naked at the beginning of episode two (I will let you have five minutes to think about a half naked Emily Fitch...*Waits patiently*...You done? Good...)

'Oh, reckless abandon

Like no one's watching you' – that's what it should be like right? Despite everything else, you can just be with the person that makes you feel like nothing else exists! :D

Enjoy it...

Chapter 1 – Sibling Empathy

Emily:

She was amazing, don't get me wrong...nine times out of ten she was a completely heartless cow who wouldn't even spit on you if you were on fire, but sat here, watching her work; I was fucking impressed. Even the cold feeling of the fake blood trickling down the side of my face wasn't enough to distract me from just...watching her.

I was fucking nervous, this was my first time actually doing it, I had been sat watching for nearly a month and now I was being literally thrown into the action. It was strange, bloody fucked up actually, we had been together forever but here I was physically shaking at the chance of getting to work with her. Katie fucking Fitch, my twin sister and all around cunt basket, except when she was modelling, when she was working the camera...she was actually captivating. This wasn't conventional modelling, this was so far into the alternative end that it was really rather creepy, blood, tattoos, piercings and anything else that makes you in any way different were completely accepted; if not demanded. Apparently as soon as Katie had said she was a twin, it became a necessity for them to meet me and after meeting me I was roped in for a trial shoot and audition period pretty much straight away.

They had loved me, something about me being 'more out there than Katie,' the photographer's words not mine, I assumed it was because I was quirky, with a few tattoos on show and bits of metal sticking out of my ears and naval. Add the bright red hair that Katie had given up on and I was a perfect catch...that and the whole twin thing, seemed like we were a perfect choice.

So here I was, allowing some weird makeup artist to make it look as though I had been beaten to within a near inch of my life, waiting for my sister to once again stop hogging the lime light and let me share in some of her glory.

I had always been in her shadow, although it was thanks to secondary school and college that just how much I lagged behind her was noticed. I'm sure she would forgive me for saying that it was her slag-ish nature that made her get all the guys attention, obscene amounts of makeup and low cut tops worked for her...leaving me in the darkness. I had followed her around like some kind of lost fucking puppy for the first seventeen years of our lives, up until the age of nine we used to take a dump at the same time. I know, gross right, but it was just me being too scared to be anyone other than Katie Fitch's twin, I was too scared to just be Emily.

That had all changed towards the end of college; I found out that being Emily was fucking amazing. I also discovered why I had been so fucking frightened, how can I put it? You get kissed by a gorgeous girl and immediately you are hooked, looking back I think I always knew I was gay, but accepting it made just being me so much easier. Even if it did push most of my family away, in fact I'm pretty sure that Katie only contacted me about this whole thing to further her own career...but at this moment I didn't care, it all looked fucking brilliant if not slightly nerve racking.

"You ready Emsy?" Katie stood in front of me, dressed in the exact same fucked up attire that I was, black corset, black and purple lingerie, fish nets tights and purple Dr Martins...all slightly ripped, even I had to admit we looked hot. Fake blood added to the ripped material and incredibly real fake bruises made it look like we had indeed been kicking the shit out of each other. I didn't say anything as the nerves started to contract around the back of my throat, standing to find I was only just able to fucking walk before allowing Katie to take my hand and drag me until we were standing in front of a white screen, waiting while spotty stage hands pushed and pulled bits of scenery towards us. In no more than a few seconds it looked like we were standing in the midst of war, things were on fire...which I am sure is illegal inside a building, there was crushed metal and blood splatters everywhere and Katie and I were just waiting for our inspiration.

"Ok...Karen wants this one to be passionate, as if one of you has just stolen the other's boyfriend and the whole world is about to end because of it...give me DRAMA!" First impressions, this camera guy is a right fucktard, like seriously far too over the top for his own good. But Katie sprang into action, striking poses that I started to copy, change slightly and in my opinion, fucking own. She didn't like that I seemed to be doing better than her, leaping on every chance to pull at her hair or pretend to smack her in the jaw with a clenched fist. It didn't take long for twin telepathy to take over, each one of us reacting with the other to put on quite a spectacle, causing outbursts of joy from the dickhead behind the camera lens.

The half hour long shoot passed far too quickly, I was enjoying getting to almost beat the shit out of Katie, it was refreshing and every scowl she managed to throw in my direction fired me up more. Bitch calls me back into her life after nearly a month of not talking just to make her own career go up with a bang and it ends up being me that stole the show. Fucking brilliant.

"What the fuck? You looked like you were actually going to kill me?" Katie exclaimed as we were sat in our little director's chairs waiting for the mass of makeup, which had started to run slightly due to the heat from the weird lights, off of our faces.

"I thought about it, you fucking left me, with mum...after Uni, you just fucking came here and I had to deal with her hating me by myself...no job, no money, no fucking girlfriend to escape with...just mum telling me I should find myself a nice boy and stop attention seeking with this whole gay farce." Verbal diarrhoea, a distinct side affect of pent up rage, all flying towards Katie, making her hopefully feel half as shit as I have been for the past few months.

"Sorry, this just happened..." She gestured around her, at the giant warehouse where we were sat, having our hair detangled and being handed white robes to cover the gaping holes in our outfits. I just shook my head at her before returning my attention fixedly to the magazine I was in essence only pretending to read.

"Yea well I'm so glad that you could escape the shit heap that was home, but it would have been nice to spare me a thought before blurting out about your twin sister and finding that it could once again be something weird that you could use to your own fucking advantage...cow." And breathe, ok, she may be a complete bitch but she was the only one who stood by you when you came out, so take it easy. That and her telephone call to get you down here managed to get you away from that shit heap of a home and into something that vaguely resembles your own life.

"I'm sorry, I just needed to get away, it was all bollocks...I missed you every day." She was smiling at me, holding her arms out and pleading me with her eyes to just let everything wash away in a Fitch hug. I obliged, pulling her close, much to the hair stylists' horror as my weave just seemed to collapse under the weight of reconciliation.

"So, how'd you get this gig anyhow?" All I knew about this job was how fucking weird it was and how Katie seemed to have just stumbled across it from one of her many connections in her 'look at me I'm a fucking slag' mainstream modelling career.

"Karen just kind of found me, told me that she had something new and exciting, something that she knew just by looking at me that I would love...and here we are now." Karen McClair, Chief Exec of everything here...she was only a little older than us but having come so close to winning some god awful show called 'search for a sex bomb' she was thrust upon the modelling world and supposedly worked her way to the fucking top. She may sound like a complete twat but I have such admiration for people who get to where they are in life because of sheer perseverance and strength. I knew we were in safe hands.

"Emily, there is someone by the name of Effy at the shutter, says she is a friend of yours..." We were very rudely interrupted by one of the spotty teens from earlier, but he was bringing good news so I decided he could probably keep his balls. I just nodded, permitting him to let her in.

"Great...lezzer fucking bitch..." Katie mumbled under her breath, trying to hide it from me; which she should know by now is pretty impossible, I'm good at noticing things I am really not supposed to notice. Perceptive.

"Got a problem Katie? I get it, you're a fucking homophobic cow who can't get her head around it but, you still love me regardless...and she is my best friend...be nice?" My sarcastic tone was working wonders today and smiling a vaguely smug smile I got up and walked over to the brunette wanting to engulf me in her arms. Effy Stonem, my very first gay kiss; actually my very first proper kiss in general, and...Well I had finally plucked up the courage to kiss her and in taking the wrap for it she had fallen for me and everything ended up perfect. We had dated for a few months, through summer mostly, but it wasn't working...ending it amicably we had remained best friends, much to Katie's annoyance which seemed to solidify our love for each other even more. She was quiet, non-resolute and rather emotionless, a mysterious splendour who to top it all off was fucking beautiful without any effort on her part whatsoever. I'm only a tiny bit jealous of how easy it is for her to fuck gorgeous women; I have my methods and have managed a few serious relationships in my time...and a few rumbles in the sheets in between. But at the moment, nothing, using the excuse of waiting for 'the one' should sum up just how shit the dry spell is.

"Looks like fun..." Completely stone faced as she blinked between Katie and me, smiling at her un-mentioned knowledge that she already knew I had been mere inches away from actually punching Katie square in her face. I rolled my eyes and she put her hand around my waist before seeming to frog march me towards my now very awkward looking twin.

"Katie, long time no see..." There was nothing but mystery in Effy's voice, she always seemed to be exactly the same except for that one little thing that no one, including me, could ever put a finger on...something almost magical. Katie didn't see it that way, all she saw in Effy was someone who had been the object of her gay sister's lust for the best part of a year... in essence she blamed Effy for making me gay as a window. Even after I eventually came clean and told the world that it was me that initiated the kiss with Effy, Katie wouldn't take it, it took me nearly four months to get her round to being ok with me being gay, but through everything she still seemed to be thinking of ways to make Effy pay. In some weird but awesome chain of coincidence Effy and I had ended up at the same university, me studying Classic English and Effy was getting her teeth stuck into psychology...that and all the booze ups really cemented the fucking awesome friendship that we will definitely always have. It was hard to imagine any circumstance that would come between the two of us, even fucking sexy girls weren't enough to break us apart and for me...that is saying something.

"Yea, long time...been up to much?" By that I am pretty sure she meant something along the lines of...'fucking lesbian cow showing up here with her arms all over my sister, who the fuck does she think she is? Better ask a nonchalant question that she won't even cunting answer...' but I was so happy that she was playing nice. Effy shrugged making me smile at just how spot on the sarcastic inner voice of my twin had been, she didn't talk much...only when she was so fucked up that she had no control over anything, which was becoming increasingly often over the past few weeks since we had arrived in London. She had decided to come down with me and we had got a little place of our own together, living off of her dad's guilt money until this modelling thing actually started paying me and she found her own job.

The awkward conversation drifted off on a tangent and I became increasingly aware of Effy's hand remaining fixed to my waist, probably her silent way of pissing my sister off meaning that I couldn't help but allow it. Annoying the fuck out of Katie was brilliant, until it was pushed too far and she snapped, she really was rather scary when she wanted to be.

"Emily Fitch...can I talk to you for a moment?" My head span around the room to see where the seemingly warm lovely voice had come from and ended up facing a rather beautiful brunette with the most brilliantly tanned skin, instantly making myself worry as to who she was and why the fuck she wanted to talk to me. I just nodded watching her as she walked away, before turning to my sister for some form of sarcastic help.

"That's Karen...you're in fucking trouble! I'd get in there pretty bloody sharpish..." Katie had never been one to mince words and the only thanks I took out of hafting to turn and follow my impending doom into her office was that in doing so I was leaving my twin to the mercy of my incredibly obviously gay best friend. Effy seemed to smile knowingly at me, almost as if she knew exactly what was going through my head without me even hafting to voice it. Katie hadn't twigged but I figured she was about to.

"Good luck..." Effy's few words seemed to mean everything as I had a feeling that I was about to wander into the lion's den, waiting like a rabbit in the fucking headlights while she told me just how shit I had been and that they no longer required my services.

It was strange, in the few short steps towards the office I hadn't even noticed being there before, I managed to realise that even though I had been through a rather intense audition period that I hadn't even met Karen. She was this big apparently ball busting boss, who Katie was physically afraid of, yet she hadn't seemed to be involved in my hiring...but it looked like she would be damned if she wasn't going to be involved in my immediate firing. I knew I had been shit, I was having too much fun doing something that I could in essence get paid for, I couldn't work the camera, I looked like crap and I was a poor excuse for an alternative model. Even looking down at my half sleeve tattoo that was incredibly on show wasn't enough to make me feel otherwise. All my brain was telling me was that, for the short amount of time, I had had fun pretending to release all of my anger onto Katie's face. Without realising it, I had knocked on the door.

"Entre." French, anyone who used random words from a different language had to be killed, maybe after she ended my new fantasy of becoming something beautiful. But for now I just did as I was told and opened the door forcing myself to face those almost black eyes that had pierced into mine for no more than a few seconds. Shit, why did I notice her eyes?

"Take a seat Emily..." Such force, I had never heard such conviction in a voice before, even if it was a velvet smooth voice that was about to fire my arse. But once again I was compelled to do as she asked, it was taking all my strength to stop my chin from falling to the floor, if I didn't know any better I would have thought I was smitten. Fucking bollocks that is, she is so very obviously straight anyway!

"Here we demand certain standards, fucking high ones at that, people view alternative modelling as a cop out for the freakishly beautiful, which is almost true, but the level I demand makes it fucking hard work..." She paused, fishing around in her draws for something before eventually removing a small wooden box and lighting one of the spliffs that were pre rolled. She seemed to inhale deeply, allowing the smoke to roll around in her chest before releasing it to the rather dark office like room. I was still just sat there with a completely dumbfounded expression plastered across my face, trying to look at anything that wasn't her.

"Now I've looked over some of the shots from this session..." Ok she really needs to stop pausing, because every time she does my mind has time to wander off into something that I am absolutely fucking sure it should not be thinking about.

"...And it really is rather bloody good babes, I mean seriously fucked up, but brilliant. You sure you have never done anything like this before?" She handed me the spliff and flashed me a smile, bitch had been having me on, and I felt myself jolt terribly as I finally managed to continue breathing.

"No...Never..." Nerves still surrounded me regardless of the calming effects that some rather fucking good weed was responsible for, so I just kept to myself and said as little as possible.

"Well you had better get used to it, we will make it official as of a massive party tomorrow...nothing says welcome to the company better than a drunken masquerade ball with a mountain of drugs to inhale." She winked at me, got up, rounded the desk and pulled me into a hug, allowing me to flounder in her fucking gorgeous perfume and feel her hands against my back. Jesus, I must be fucking sex deprived if I am thinking all of this about someone that I have barely known for ten minutes.

"Sounds fucking brilliant." I practically whispered against her shoulder blade, before returning my full attention to the unfamiliar but really bloody comforting physical contact. She let me go and walked over to the door, holding it open for me to return to the folds of where the actual work was done, showing me another one of those heart warming smiles.

"Welcome to Sweet Disposition, the most out there modelling agency ever..." Her voice followed me for a few footsteps before I heard the door click shut behind me, heart beating slightly faster than usual...facing the beginning of the rest of my life.

First chapter done, please let me know what you all think as this is going to probably be more 'out there' than the rest of my stories considering we are starting from scratch. And this time it is going to be switching between the two girl's points of view!

All reviews are welcome, good or bad, gives me a warm feeling when you leave comments!

Love you all...all over again! :D