Prologue

Starday, Arodus 18

My last journal is full, so it is time to start a new one. I will start as always by introducing myself.

My name is Zana. I am female, although like all of my people I can be anything I choose. I am 17 years of age but I will be 18 in just under a week. I have been in training for almost two years now and when I finally come of age I will be allowed to leave the enclave and serve my family.

I am excited to be able to see the outside world. My teachers and Raz tell me much of the humans and their culture but it will be better to see it for myself. My teachers tell me that humans are dangerous and not to be trusted, although Raz says that they are fun to play with. I am not sure exactly what he means by that and he won't tell me.

Raz says there are many kinds of humans, with many names. We call them all human because that is their most common name, but they also have names like elf, dwarf, halfling, and gnome. Raz tells me about how they are different and how they look, so that I may know how to blend in when among them. Humans are the easiest, for they look much like us, although their skin is pink and their hair brighter. Elves are thin and tall, with pointed ears like knives. Raz says that elves like to hug trees, which seems strange to me. But humans are strange and not like us.

I have seen a dwarf. He tried to trespass on the enclave, so the guards killed him. Our teachers wished us to see what a dwarf looked like, for it is always easier to learn a form from looking at the real thing rather than seeing a fellow family member take on its appearance. I learned the form, but I was distracted by the smell and color of his blood. Human blood is dark and red, unlike ours. The smell reminded me of other things, but I will not write of them now.

Raz says dwarves like to live underground like us, but much deeper and in far greater numbers. This is the danger of humans. There are far too many of them, and far too few of us. This is why any trespassers must be killed, even if they do not find the door. We cannot risk the humans finding our family, for they would surely kill us all.

I must leave to go to training now. I will write again tomorrow.

Sunday, Arodus 19

There is no training today. Instead we spend this day in honor of Norgorber. Sometimes Raz brings me something from the outside to use as my offering, but he is still away on a mission. So instead I must offer blood, as do all the others who are too young to leave the enclave. I do not mind. The pain from the cut is fleeting, and the priest says that the blood strengthens Norgorber. It is by Norgorber's power that our family is able to remain hidden and safe so I am happy to offer what I can.

The priest says that like us, Norgorber is hated by many humans. Followers of Norgorber take the lives of humans, and this is why they hate us. I do not think this is fair. They take our lives just as we take theirs. Why is it wrong for us to do it and right for them?

The priest says once, long ago, we used to live on the surface with the humans. Back then there were few of us, and all lived disguised as humans. As more of us came to be, we tried to reveal ourselves so that we might know others of our kind and be recognized as our own type of humans. But the humans rejected us. They said we were abominations, said that our powers of shape changing made us untrustworthy. Those of us who had lived with and married humans were accused of having murdered the real spouse to take their place. The humans wanted nothing but to kill us, so we fled, and hid.

Then there was the Founder.

Thirty years ago, the Founder gathered together a group of many of us. He found an ancient ruin. The aboveground structures had decayed and collapsed, but the underground passages and rooms were intact. He made this place our home, our enclave.

Over time our numbers increased. We found more of our people, and the Founder welcomed them into our family. Our numbers grew until the Founder felt there were enough to attack a nearby human city.

The attack failed. We had underestimated the humans and their numbers. Even though each of us fought as many of them, it was not enough. We retreated back to our home.

The Founder was badly injured in the battle. In order to assist him in leading the family, the Council was created. The wisest of our family sit upon the Council, providing us with direction. Though the Founder still leads our family, all of his orders are relayed through the Council. Their word is law. And it was they who came up with a new plan. Rather than attack the humans directly, we would work within them, playing them against each other. Subtle assassinations would work better to undermine the humans than assaulting them with an army.

Our assassinations went well at first. But eventually we attracted attention. A group known as the Red Mantis witnessed one of our killings and followed our agents back to the enclave. Our guards tried to eliminate them but were overpowered. For the only time in the history of our family, humans entered the enclave.

Fortunately they had not come to kill us. But they did have demands.

Our family was far too talented at assassination to be wasted on killing a few targets for free, they said. The Red Mantis wished us to take paid contracts as well. They would acquire the contracts, our family would do the killing, and the rewards would be split between us and them. The Council did not like this, but we had little choice. We could not risk the Red Mantis exposing us to the humans.

In time, the arrangement became more acceptable. Humans were still dying, and blaming each other for the deaths. The money we received allowed us to make the enclave more comfortable and to acquire better gear. Though some still resented the Red Mantis for forcing us into this deal, most came to view them as business partners in a mutually beneficial arrangement.

I can write no more, for it is time for the offerings to begin.

Moonday, Arodus 20

I have finished my training for the day. Today we sparred with knives, and though I now have many cuts they will heal. And I did well. Only two of the others did better than me.

I have two more days of training, and then I will be of age.

I am waiting in the common area for Raz to return. His team is due to return tonight, but they are running late. I am not surprised. He often stops by Magnimar to pick up wine or luxuries to sneak into the enclave.

He also does other things in Magnimar that I do not like. He does not actually tell me this but the scent of perfume on him makes it clear what he's been doing. And this is not disapproved of among our family, for we are few in number still.

Perhaps when I am of age he wi

Toilday, Arodus 21

Raz's team returned last night, with Daevin badly hurt. Raz and Pax were supporting him, and a bandage soaked with blood was wrapped around his torso. His eyes were open, but rolled back in his head.

Raz told me to go bring our priest, and I ran to do so.

I waited anxiously in my room for the next hour until Raz finally came back. He told me Daevin is alive, but the priest says he will be unwell for many days. Raz says they fought a paladin of Abadar. He hit Daevin with a weapon that somehow caused Daevin to revert to his natural form, and cut deeper than the hit should have. A bright light shone from the paladin's weapon, and Daevin and Pax were sent flying back, blinded. Raz was able to use his magic to curse the paladin, and killed him before he could harm Daevin and Pax again. They had Daevin drink a healing potion, but it seemed to have little effect. The paladin's magic had hurt him badly.

But Daevin is safe now, at least. Many that have gone on missions have not been so lucky.

Last night was all too similar to that night four years ago, and it left me shaken. I think Raz noticed this, because after he finished telling me about Daevin he showed me a bottle of wine he had been keeping hidden in his room. We drank and laughed until I could no longer keep my form constant, and then Raz helped me into bed and told me good night.

Wealday, Arodus 22

Tomorrow I become of age! Raz brought me a present a day early – a magical dagger he said he found on his last mission. It will serve me well when I finally take part in my first mission.

I visited Mother's candle in the temple today. I think she'd be proud of how I've done, and what I'll do. I hope that my actions will honor her. And I hope that the lives I take in service of my family will help to avenge her death.

Oathday, Arodus 23

So much has happened; I hardly know where to begin! Last night Raz and Pax and I went down into the lower catacombs and had a secret party. There's normally a guard posted there to keep us from entering the catacombs, but I think Raz paid him off because he wasn't there last night. We had fresh sweets that Raz had brought from Magnimar, and explored the crypts of the humans who used to live here. Pax found a necklace hidden behind some cobwebs and gave it to me. It's an interesting little human trinket, I quite like it.

After a few hours Pax went back upstairs to go to bed, but Raz and I stayed down there together all night.

When I woke up this morning, Raz was already awake. He told me it was time to go to my coming of age ceremony, and that he had a special surprise for me.

The ceremony was short but exhilarating. Our priest gave me the blessings of Norgorber, and the Council presented me with my new armor. Next, they gave me my first assignment. Typically newly of age family members guard the entrance to the enclave, or make runs to the nearby cities for supplies. I was shocked when instead of one of those assignments, they told me I would be going with Raz on his mission tonight. Daevin was still too injured to go, and Raz had recommended me as a temporary replacement.

Raz has told me the job is simple. We will need to sneak into a noble's mansion and locate him while avoiding the manor's guards. Raz will then kill the noble and take his place. I have not been told why Raz is taking his place, for Pax and I are supposed to take the body as soon as the target is eliminated. I am just excited to be able to finally see the outside world!

I must prepare my equipment, for we will be leaving soon!

Fireday, Arodus 24

Everything has gone wrong. I failed my family in every way last night. I can barely hold the pen to write this, but I must try. I must start from the beginning.

Taking my first steps out into the night was glorious. A cool breeze blew on my face, and stars illuminated the outer ruins of the enclave. Raz and Pax brought me over to animals that are called horses, which we would use to get to the city. Raz showed me how to get on and stay in the saddle, and explained that the horses were trained to follow his and I would need to do nothing except stay on.

We reached the city within an hour, using rope and grappling hooks to scale the city wall. Raz and Pax led me to an alleyway a few hundred feet away from the mansion. Pax explained that since Raz would be replacing our target, we could not kill anyone else, or else suspicion could be cast on him. Raz used his magic to create strange noises to lure the guards away, and we crept in behind them.

We used the grappling hooks again to get up through an open second story window. Raz gave me a description of the noble and ordered me to check the first floor while Pax checked the current one and Raz the third.

The first few rooms were empty, but the fourth contained a human woman cooking something. This was the first human I had seen up close, and she was fascinating. Her hair was red like human blood, her irises a pale green. Her nose was slightly crooked and her cheeks flushed red. My first human. The image of her is burned into my mind.

The woman must have seen me out of the corner of her eye, or maybe she sensed me watching her, because suddenly she turned towards the doorway. Seeing me she screamed, and backed away. I stood in panic for a moment, wondering what to do.

The woman grabbed a knife off the table and brandished it at me, shrieking for the guards. I ran and grabbed her, trying to smother her screams while she tried to stab me with the knife. After a few grazes from it I grabbed at her wrist, trying to wrestle the knife away from her. We struggled and the knife ended up going into her stomach.

She fell, the blood pooling beneath her. And I smelled that smell again…except this time rather than troubling me, I felt it strengthen me. The scent that once meant one of my family was dead now heralded the death of a human. A death offered to Norgorber, in honor of my mother, and of all my people who had suffered and died at human hands.

A guard burst into the room. He looked at me, and then the body on the ground, and before his gaze could return to me, I darted into the hallway. All around me I could hear the sound of an alarm bell going off, and heavily armed humans searching through the halls. I ran up the stairs to the window we had entered from, and nearly collided with Pax. He told me to stay close to him and help him fight while we waited for Raz to get there.

Two guards ran down the hallway, saw us, and yelled warnings to surrender. Pax lunged at the first one, slashing him across the throat. The first guard fell to the ground. Pax sprang towards the second human but the man was ready and blocked the attack with his shield. Another guard ran down the other hallway, trapping Pax and I in the middle. I drew my dagger and barely managed to block the swing of the guard's sword in time. As it was, the strength of the blow staggered me and I stumbled backwards, bumping into the wall. The guard advanced on me and swung his sword in a horizontal arc that I barely managed to duck under. Seeing an opening, I darted forward and sunk my dagger into the side of his neck.

Pax had managed to kill his guard as well, but heavy footsteps from both directions meant that more were coming. I saw his glance dart towards the window, contemplating escaping and leaving Raz behind. But he quickly shook his head and readied his weapon for the next attack.

We stood back to back as five more guards rounded the corners, three from one side and two from the other. Standing behind two burly swordsmen I noticed an archer readying his bow.

I tried to yell a warning but the arrow pierced Pax's shoulder before he had time to dodge. He swore, but quickly switched his sword over to his uninjured arm and moved to attack the guards. The two guards on my side seemed less concerned by me, and their stances were loose and unfocused. I quickly threw my dagger at the closer one, managing to lodge it in his eye. The man screamed and fell to the ground. The dagger glowed and returned to my hand.

The second guard approached me, much more wary. When I went to dart at him he quickly lashed out, forcing me to block. He let loose with a flurry of heavy blows. I barely managed to block them; the strain from his powerful impacts was making my arm ache.

I shot a quick glance over at Pax and saw that he'd taken out one of his swordsmen but was still dealing with the second and the archer. Taking a risk, he lunged at the swordsman, managing to run him through but suffering a cut across his injured shoulder as he did so. Pax dropped his weapon with a yell of pain, right as the archer shot an arrow into his neck.

Pax fell, and as I tried to run towards him a heavy object slammed into the back of my head, knocking me to the ground. Head throbbing, I rolled onto my back to see the guard about to impale me.

The shadows behind the guard suddenly wavered, and Raz appeared, kneeing him in the gut. As the guard bent over in pain and surprise Raz wrapped his hands around the guard's sword and forced it into his stomach. Raz kicked him aside and rounded the corner. The archer shot an arrow at him that Raz easily knocked away. He suddenly vanished into the shadows, reappearing behind the archer and slitting his throat.

As the last human fell to the ground Raz ran over to Pax. He checked his pulse and a brief flicker of hope crossed his face. Pax was still alive, but not for long if we did not escape.

We used the rope to lower Pax to the ground. Raz asked me to carry Pax, but he was too heavy for me to lift by myself. Raz ordered me to wait with Pax while he killed the guards at the gate. Then together we carried Pax away from the manor and into an alleyway.

Raz told me there was a Temple of Norgorber here that would keep us safe long enough for the guards to stop looking for us, and that hopefully they would be able to help Pax as well. Four more guards died at Raz's hands in order for us to reach the temple unseen, but at last we made it. Raz spoke with the human priest at the temple while I waited with Pax, checking his pulse every few seconds. It was faint, but he still clung to life.

Raz came over and told me quietly that he did not have enough gold for the price the priest asked to heal Pax. He held out his hand and told me to give him my magic dagger. I did, and he brought it back over to the priest. The priest examined it, wiped the blood off it, and nodded to Raz.

Raz and the priest brought Pax into a back room while I waited outside. Several hours passed, and Pax and Raz returned. Pax was conscious now, but barely lucid. He leaned heavily on Raz to walk. Raz said that Pax would need more time to heal but would be able to keep a human appearance up long enough for us to escape the city.

We put human clothes from the temple on over our armor and walked to the gate. The gate guards looked oddly at us but did not stop us. Raz helped me up into my saddle and then lifted Pax up with me. He said I must hold on to Pax to keep him from falling off the horse.

We made it back to the enclave safely and Raz ordered me to wait in my room while he took Pax to our priest. It has been an hour. I know that Raz now speaks before the Council, telling them of my failure, of how Pax's life was nearly lost due to me. I know they will soon bring me before them for sentencing.

The Council ordered me to tell them my version of events. I did, and truthfully, even though it proved that I was to blame for Pax's injury and the mission's failure. I could not lie to the Council; none of us can.

I could sense their fury. I waited with head bowed as they debated what to do with me. Councilor Navar made the final proclamation. I am to be stripped of my rank and gear. I will be retrained for a year, perhaps longer, until the Council is satisfied that I will not be a liability. I will not be allowed to leave the enclave for any reason.

I write this now in my room knowing two things. One, that the Council's decision was the correct one. And two, that I cannot abide by it.

I have found a flaw in my family, and I will not rest until it is corrected. We live in isolation from the humans to be safe from them, but it also makes us vulnerable to them. We don't know enough about them. None of us leave the enclave until we are of age, and even then few are allowed to go anywhere except the location of their mission.

I can scarcely believe I'm writing this, but the Founder is wrong. The Council is wrong. The key to protecting our family is not avoiding humans, but understanding them. Living in ignorance only hurts us.

I know what I must do. I must leave my family. I must travel and live among the humans so that I may learn about them. It hurts to imagine being separated from my family, but this is what I must do to protect them. If the knowledge I gain could save the lives of those in my family, I must take this chance.

There will be guards posted. But what they don't know is that Raz has been teaching me some of his magic. I will cloak myself in shadow as he taught me, and they will not see me. And I will pray to Norgorber that he bless my cause, and hide me tonight.

I leave this journal behind so that my family might know why I have left. I am sorry for disobeying but I hope that you will forgive me one day. I am sorry for ruining the mission in my foolishness. I am sorry, Pax, that you got hurt because of me.

I am sorry, Raz.

Goodbye.

-Zana