Race to Sorceress' Mountain
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife
Does this qualify as a Ducktales /DW crossover?
I want the stupid log-in system CHANGED. I want to just be able to login without the stupid "security" measures that would not slow a hacker down for 2 seconds but keep me out of my stuff. ENOUGH ALREADY, I'M NOT TRYING TO HACK INTO THE PENTAGON!
(ATTENTION DISNEY: I changed the name! Please don't sue me! Besides, IT'S A JOKE! The same way "Ducky Horror Picture Show" was a joke!)
WB can TRY to turn Shaggy into a hero after decades of him being a lazy, stupid, spaced-out cowardly slacker,(*)but Disney can't drop the "Launchpad is a moron" routine. Oh yeah, THAT makes sense.
* Which somehow didn't work. Would of made more sense if Daphne was the hero, she was the daring one with the rich uncle. But of course WB has the same problem with Fred that Disney has with Launchpad. That makes equally no sense, but since I don't give a rat's tail about Fred...although either Fred or Daphne would of invited the rest of the gang in on the fun.
Magica was angry. Scuttlebutt had it that a big party was going to be held at a place called Sorceress' Mountain- a party for Magic-makers of all sorts. And SHE wan't invited!
"Bah! If that idiot pilot can crash everything that moves, I can crash a stupid party!" Magica fumed.
"Only I don't know WHERE the party IS! There is no such place as sorceress mountain! But I heard on the grapevine that the planning committee is meeting in Duckburg- in Scrooge McDuck's convention center! The monsters had such a good time at their convention in Duckburg,(1) the magicians are planning the party there." Magica said.
Poe, her brother/raven heard this and was worried. Poe saw that his sister was in such a state of fury, she would not notice he was gone. Poe therefore left for Mr. McDuck's mansion.
Mr. McDuck was coming home in Launchpad's plane with the Triplets and Webby when Poe came along!
"Scrooge! Scrooge! Magica is angry! The wizards, witches, and magic-users are throwing a party and SHE wasn't invited!" Poe said.
"Oh! I just watched "Sleeping Beauty" on my DVD player! When the witch/fairy wasn't invited to the party, did she get MAD!" Webby said.
"Aha. No doubt. But what does this have to do with me?" Mr. McDuck asked.
"Magica doesn't know where the party is. The "people" planning the party are meeting here in Duckburg- in YOUR convention center. Magica's likely to level it!" Poe said.
"Quak! And a lot of innocent "people" could get hurt." Mr. McDuck mused.
"But I have an a LOT of conventions scheduled there in the next few days and no such group is listed. They must of used a false name for their organization so not to scare people. How can I warn them if I don't know which group to warn? I don't want to start a panic."
"Excuse me, Mr. McD...but I sorta know a witch..." Launchpad began.
"You "sorta" know a witch?" Mr. McDuck demanded.
"She's a friend of a friend. I can warn her and see if she can warn the others..." Launchpad tried again.
"That might work. Try it and let me know." Mr. McDuck said.
So Launchpad called DW, explained the situation (it took Launchpad a while to get a word in edgewise)and DW called Morgana and delivered the warning.
"Now if Scrooge McDuck wasn't taking this seriously, I wouldn't even bother..." DW began.
" You should. I had not thought of this, I hoped we could pull this off and Magica wouldn't find out until it was too late...Now the whole plan is ruined! I better warn the others. They'll probably decide to forget about the whole thing! What a mess!" Morgana said.
DW didn't want to admit he had no idea what Morgana meant. But he had delived the warning, so after telling Launchpad he had done as promised, DW washed his hands of the matter. Launchpad told Mr. McDuck.
But Mr. McDuck noticed that NONE of his conventions scheduled for the next few days cancelled and he got nervous. Mr. McDuck spent a lot of time and money on that convention center, he didn't want it leveled. He went over the organizations scheduled to meet at the convention center, trying to guess which one was the Wizard's club. Mr. McDuck managed to narrow down the list, especially with Poe's help...but there was so many groups of the right size, there was no way to be sure.
Except maybe...ask Launchpad? It was embarrassing for Mr. I-think-I-know-everything-because-I'm-stinking-rich, but he asked. I'll give him that.
"I'm not sure if I'll know either, but it couldn't hurt to look at the list, Mr. McDuck." Launchpad said. And he did.
"Hey, what's this? Some lady on this list asked for flies and a terrarium in her room ?" (2)Launchpad asked.
"Oh that. Some weird lady with a pet spider. I normally don't allow pets, but spiders are quiet, they do their business in the terrarium and she assures me this spider is non-venomous and harmless." Mr. McDuck replied.
" That witch lady I sorta know owns a pet spider. In fact, it's her familiar. I somehow doubt that's a coincidence." Launchpad commented.
"So do I! Well, I'm going to call the organization and ask them to cancel!" Mr. McDuck said.
Later...
"What do you mean, you won't cancel? Magica is going to attack your group! You could be killed!" Mr. McDuck yelled.
"Mr. McDuck, Magica knows we are supposed to come to Duckburg, she know when we're due. When she shows up to attack us, do you think our NOT being there will cause her to do LESS damage? She'll cause more damage out of anger and frustration! This way, we can protect the place and innocent people, if need be. Our plan is to come early, keep our eyes open for Magica and lead her away when we see her coming. Magica will hopefully follow us and leave innocents alone." Morgana explained.
"Look, I know Magica is evil, but wouldn't it have made sense to have invited her anyway?" Mr. McDuck asked.
"No, it wouldn't of! And I used to be evil! I can't explain now, I have too much to do!" Morgana said.
And she HUNG UP on Mr. McDuck. Which annoyed him no end. So, since he was still worried about innocent people and his convention center, he put both Launchpad and Gizmoduck on guard at the convention center. Mr. McDuck waited in Launchpad's plane, which was "parked" near the convention center. Giz patrolled the area via his helmit copter and flitted from one hiding spot to the next, so he would not be seen. A plane or a helicopter is too conspicious for that.
Then Giz yelled: "Magica is coming! Magica is coming!"
And the magicians took to the air, hoping Magica would follow them.
"After them, Launchpad!" Mr. McDuck ordered.
"You SURE that's a GOOD idea, Mr. McD?" Launchpad asked.
"Magica hates me so much, once she sees my dollar sign emblem on this plane, she forget about the convention center and follow me!" Mr. McDuck replied.
" And I get to fly you so she can chase us! LUCKY ME!" Launchpad muttered.
But Launchpad took off anyway.
Magica saw the plane and pursued it. Giz followed to make sure Magica left the area without hurting innocents. But Giz flys slowly and Magica noticed that. Magica attacked Giz out of spite and anger, just because he was there and because he flys so slowly, he's a clay pigeon in the air.
Giz used a shield to protect himself from most of Magica's magic blasts, but one severed the helmit-copter from his helmit and Giz dropped. Launchpad noticed this and banked the plane in a steep turn. Launchpad opened up the "trap door" in the plane's closed cockpit so Giz landed in an empty back seat, unharmed.
" I do the crashing around here and don't you forget it!" Launchpad joked.(3)
Launchpad turned the plane again, so they were heading out to the open sea and away from other people. Magica followed. This distraction allowed the magic-users to surround Magica.
"Magica, you found out the party we were planning didn't you?" Morgana asked her.
"YES! How could plan a party and not invite ME?" Magica demanded.
"The party was FOR you. We were GOING to throw you a surprize party!
"Sorceress Mountain" was code for Mount Vesusius (4)!" Morgana replied.
"The party...was for me?" Magica asked.
"Yes! The anniversary of your becoming a full-fledged sorceress is coming up! I won't say for how many years you've been a sorceress in front of mortals, they don't even know the difference between a witch and a sorceress!" Morgana said.(5)
" I talked the others into throwing you a surprize party at Mount Vesusius! I was hoping if we showed you that we, you fellow magic-users, still cared about you...it might get thru to you. I used to be evil, too...I hoped I might talk some sense into you." Morgana explained.
"You mean it was a stinking INTERVENTION? Who do you think you are, Dr. Phil? I LIKE being evil! I don't NEED your stupid party!" Magica screamed.
And Magica flew away. But Launchpad swears Magica was crying. I think Magica regreted her foolishly jumping to conclusions, once she realized it had led to the magicians forgetting about throwing her a party.
The End.
(1) "Ducky Horror Picture Show" I wonder how many kids got that joke? Oh well, they've found out since then.
(2) Mr. McDuck owns the hotel the magicians are staying in, too. (Don't you LOVE how "smart" people in fiction "just happen" to know a trivial fact that solves the whole crime and NOBODY ELSE does? Can you say: "contrived?")
(3) I keep telling Launchpad he should not make jokes like that, somebody's likely to believe that nonsense, maybe even himself.
(4) Why did some of my earlier stories have Magica living someplace else? Because I didn't realize she lived on Mt. V, that's why. Thanks, "Mad Secretary " and "Confessions of an Italian Sorceress The Story" by Em O'Gilt.
(5) True. But "witch" is a lot easier to SPELL. So apologies to the Wiccan, I'm calling Magica a witch anyway simply because it's easier to spell. And the Wiccan are no more like witches than the original Jewish legend of the Golem is like Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein".