Underneath the Underneath
A/N: I'M SORTA BACK! I've been nagging at Sandataba to upload fics of my favorite kunoichi with the pairings of my choice. But it seems like the only way to coax her out is to bait her.
Anyway, I was reading through a fic and remembered Kakashi's "underneath the underneath" attack (the one where you end up buried to your chin in dirt) and decided to put a twist on it. Eh heh heh heh.
"Get off Kakashi," Ten groused, swatting her boyfriend's leg as she walked around to the far side of her bed, hot sheets in her arms. "If you're not going to help me, remove yourself from my presence."
The legendary shinobi seemed to sink even further down into the bare mattress – if that were possible – not taking his eyes off an orange covered book. "You don't have to put them on now you know," he nonplussed, idly thumbing another page, "I don't see why you had to wash them in the first place – they were clean enough."
The white haired man could practically hear the brunette's eyes roll as she dumped the sheets next to him and began punching her pillows into their sheaths. "You're supposed to wash your bedding every two weeks. Plus, they get dirty with you coming over and sweating on them and all."
Kakashi's lone visible eye locked onto her dark brown ones. "I would like to point out that it's not just my sweat on your sheets, Ten-chan," he deadpanned, "and I don't recollect you complaining about this last night. Or this morning for that matter." He grinned when the pretty kunoichi flushed, at a loss for words.
"Still. That doesn't mean that I want to roll around in my sleep in sex juiced bedding," Tenten countered, trying to roll the Wolf nin off her bed, but finding herself curiously tangled in his arms. "Just give me a hand with the fitted sheet, won't you? You've got longer arms than me." Her request fell on death ears however, as Kakashi was more interested in trying to pull off something else that was fitted around his girlfriend's shapely bottom.
"FINE!" Tenten yelled as she stood up, pulling the fitted sheet up and over – and pushed Kakashi down underneath it, attempting to fit the sheet despite a very large, solid body trapped underneath it. "I'll just do it myself." Only to hear an all too familiar "poof!"
"You're kinda cute when you're irritated, you know that?" drawled a lazy, nonchalant voice. Tenten whipped her head around to see Kakashi leisurely reading in her armchair, still thumbing ever so casually through that cursed book of his. "But do continue if you like," his eye ranked over her legs, "I really don't mind the view."
Tenten launched a pillow at his face. Kakashi caught it before it hit him. He leveled a warning stare at her as he slowly stood, book and pillow dropping to the floor. "You want a fight? I'll remind you that I was ANBU Black Ops."
Tenten responded by thumping her chest with her fists. "Bring it on, fucker."
The only sound in the room consisted of rough panting and the muffled thumps of tempurpedic pillows landing on taut limbs. Tenten had claimed position on the mattress, and though it leveled her somewhat more evenly with Kakashi's great height, she found that she had to dash back and forth to keep him at bay and to prevent him from claiming even ground – which would be her undoing and defeat. She ducked, parried, and saw an opening.
WHUMP.
In his determination to scrabble up onto the bed, Kakashi had let down his guard; years of practice with a jyuken user had honed in Tenten an instinctive eye and gut reaction to openings - gaps like that were fleeting, momentary, and rare. She timed her swing as he was stepping up onto the mattress, catching him full on the left side of his head. She had overestimated her force however, and Kakashi toppled off onto the floor.
Tenten dropped to her knees and peered over the mattress, ready to spring for the first aid kit – but saw that the scarecrow nin was nowhere to be found. "Kakashi?" she called. Her voice slipped out questioning and concerned, but she was already reaching for her pillow and tensing her legs, ready to spring.
Until Kakashi hurtled up from underneath the bed, grabbing her by the legs and upending her, pinioning her to the mattress, tangled in sheets. "Underneath the underneath!" she wheezed up at him, "what a dirty move!" He grinned smugly down at her.
"No one said that this was a fair fight," he chuckled, smoothing the hair off her face, "but besides, I did get your undivided attention, no?"
"I think," Tenten mused, as she began trying to wriggle her limbs from their bound state, "that I'm going to practice your Thousand Years of Pain jutsu on you, when I get free." Kakashi just propped his head up on his elbow and continued to lay his full weight on her chest.
"You can try it, but in the meantime, I might practice my lougies on you."
The neighbors complained to the landlord that afternoon of continuous yelling and screaming coming from that apartment.
A/N: WAS IT HORRIBLE? I'M SO RUSTY.