Just a weird idea I had this morning :)
Disclaimer: I don't own, just love! :) All credit goes to DPB for the original idea, the rest of the crew, and of course, the spectacular cast!
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"Good morning Probie!" Tony sang cheerfully as he almost waltzed into the bullpen.
McGee looked up. "Morning..." he replied suspiciously. A happy DiNozzo, especially this early in the morning, usually meant he either got lucky last night, or was planning some 'hilarious' practical joke on McGee.
"What's up your wazoo, McCranky? It's a beautiful day! The sun is shining, the birds are singing, I got here before Gibbs..."
"Nice try, but no dice DiNozzo."
Tony didn't falter, though he felt Gibbs' eyes practically boring a hole into the back of his head. "Good morning Boss!" he smiled as he ducked to avoid any direct contact with his boss' palm. "Is she here yet?"
Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Unless McGee decided to wear a skirt today- and I hope to God he did not- do you see anybody within a ten meter radius resembling a woman?"
Tony, looking mildly disappointed, glanced around. "As hysterical- and disturbing- as it would be to see McGee in a skirt, no... but Agent Foley over there sure could use a man's touch... actually... I'm sure he gets plenty of men t- ow!"
Gibbs dropped his hand and went to sit at his desk.
"That one hurt. This is America, boss! The land of freedom, and that includes freedom of speech."
"And freedom to discipline any agent as I see fit. She's not going to be here for at least... twenty seven minutes."
"I'm pretty sure concussing agents is unethical and not to mention illegal in some way... I feel a headache coming on..." Tony complained as he too sat down.
"So do I." Gibbs said loudly. "Speaking of which, are you two finished with those reports? The director wants 'em signed off and on his desk by lunchtime."
"Mine's almost done." McGee said dutifully.
"Didn't think we even had a lunchtime around here." Tony muttered as he pulled a stack of papers from his desk drawer. A moment later he began typing painstakingly slowly at his computer.
The bullpen fell back into the peacefulness it had had prior to Tony's arrival. Soft voices, papers rustling, more computers being typed at.
Gibbs sipped his coffee and sighed softly in satisfaction.
Exactly seventeen minutes later the quiet hum of the room was interrupted by Tony's cell phone, which began emitting an irritating combination of beeping and buzzing.
"My alarm..." Tony smiled sheepishly. "I forgot about that."
Gibbs sighed again, this time out of frustration. "Director told her to report at zero seven-hundred, Tony. It's only zero-six-fifty."
"And women are usually late." McGee piped up.
"Is that so?"
Gibbs, Tony and McGee all turned in the direction of the unfamiliar voice.
"Uh... uh..." McGee stuttered.
The woman leaning on the wall behind his desk raised her fine eyebrows. "That defense would not hold up in court." She strode over to Gibbs.
She was wearing a short red plaid skirt, a white short puff sleeved blouse with a black vest over it, white over-the-knee socks and marine combat boots. Her jet-black hair was in two plaited pigtails and her accessories consisted of studded leather bands and a matching belt dripping with chains. From where Gibbs sat he could see... one, two, three, four, five, six tattoos, and even as a man who rarely gambled, he was willing to bet there were more.
"Are you Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs?"
Gibbs nodded. "I am." He raised his eyebrows to match hers. "And you are?"
"Abby. Abby Sciuto." She held out her hand and Gibbs shook it, her spiked ring digging into his hand. "Well my real name is Abigail. I mean, I had to write that on my application form 'cause it's the name I was christened with, and of course it's on my license and my library card and everything, and that's the name my apartment's under and... what's wrong?" Abby asked, seeing the doubtful expression on the older man's face.
"You're the new agent?"
"That I am. There was a photo attached to the crapload of paperwork I had to fill out... didn't you get it? The Director told me he sent it down to you this morning."
Gibbs rifled through a stack of papers at one end of his desk until he yanked out a yellow folder. "Oh yeah." He opened it, put on his glasses, and began to read. "Miss Abigail Sciuto."
Abby visibly winced. "I really prefer Abby."
"Abby." Gibbs flipped the paper over and read aloud some of the details on the application form. "Born in New Orleans, Louisiana. Worked at a local funeral home all four years of high school... Triple Major at LSU, Sociology, Criminology and Psychology. Graduated with full honors. Master's Degree from Georgia State University in Criminology, graduated with honors then worked as a Security Guard at the same University. Special skills include American Sign Language, perfume making, ground penetrating radar operator, reptile and rodent pet care... very interesting. But it's a long way to come for work." Gibbs' eyes twinkled briefly.
"The south couldn't contain me."
"I don't doubt that." Gibbs tossed her a shiny silver key and pointed to the desk opposite Tony's. "That'll be your desk."
Abby set her bags down on it and turned to McGee and Tony. "Aren't you going to introduce yourselves?" she smiled.
Tony was in front of her in half a second. He flashed a grin. "Hi Abby. I'm Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. Call me Tony." Abby smiled back as she shook his hand.
McGee tripped over his own feet as he stood up, smiling lopsidedly. "I'm Special Agent Timothy McGee. Tim. And uh, I didn't really mean that thing I said before... I was just... I'm sorry."
Abby nodded. "Are you always this awkward around girls?"
McGee blushed, Tony snickered, and Gibbs hid his smile behind his empty coffee cup.
"So, Abby. I like your outfit." Tony said conversationally. "But did the Director?"
Abby shrugged. "I figured if I got this gig 'cause of a, ugh, Career Girl Barbie suit, worn at the interview and on the first day, I'd most likely lose the job tomorrow for comin' in dressed like this. Might as well lay all my cards on the table at once."
"Wow. He must've really liked you. 'Cause no offense, but you can't really work a crime scene in a skirt like that."
"I brought pants. And- I almost forgot- breakfast." Abby went over to one of her bags and pulled out a white bakery box. "Muffins, pastries, croissants..."
Tony practically leapt over to the box and grabbed an apple-filled pastry and a chocolate croissant. "Abby, you are a princess amongst men!" he said excitedly. "Tim, get over here. There's a poppy seed muffin in there that has your name all over it!"
Abby smirked. And to think she had almost driven straight past the bakery. "Gibbs, do you want anything?"
"That'd be nice... but I'm reluctant to leave my desk for being caught in the crumb storm that is DiNozzo."
After McGee had shyly picked a muffin from the box, Abby grabbed it and took it to Gibbs, who selected an apple cinnamon muffin before thanking Abby. Only one thing was missing.
"Coffee, anyone?" Abby asked, holding up a large thermos.
Gibbs was in heaven. Tony was in heaven. McGee was in heaven (if that involved a crapload of poppy seeds).
Abby grinned and began to unpack her things onto her desk while the others remained blissfully at theirs.
About ten minutes later Abby set a small doll- that looked like a mini version of her- next to her computer.
"Alrighty! We are good to go. Now we just need somewhere to go. This is gonna be so cool!" She turned to her left. "You don't happen to have a case up your sleeve, do you?" she asked her boss.
"Nope."
"Maybe in your pocket?"
Gibbs shook his head.
"Come on. Your sock? Your shoe. Anything."
Just then Gibbs' desk phone rang. He raised his eyebrows and picked it up. "Yeah. Gibbs."
Abby grabbed her pants from the shelf behind her. She pulled them on under her skirt.
"What're you doing?" asked Tony, intrigued.
Abby wriggled out of the skirt, folded it, and put it where her pants had been. "We got a case."
"How do you know?" McGee asked.
"I can just tell." Abby said simply. She reached for her weapon and her backpack.
Gibbs hung up the phone. "Grab your gear."
Abby pulled on her NCIS cap, tilted her head to one side, and smiled proudly.
"Gas the truck."
McGee smiled to himself. Suddenly the truck keys flew past his face. "Hey!" he cried. "Isn't that the Probie's job?"
Abby laughed, already on her way to the elevator with Tony. "I'm not a Probie... I'm just a pro."
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Please, review! I'm all for freedom of speech.